Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - October 2009

[Eenee]

mummy of4: thanks, so sorry for your loss, that must have been very traumatic for you.

[eliselouise]

Welcome em, so sorry to hear of your loss. You will find some lovely ladies here who offer alot of support.
mummyof4 so sorry to hear youve had a rough last few days. That must have been terrible to get those results back and what a horrible midwife, im sure she was only trying to make things easier for you but she really should have told you the truth especially when you asked so many times. Hopefully youll get a BFP very soon.
Twinsister glad to hear that you had a lovely holiday, hopefully this will be your month
murraycod how are you coping with the TWW? Hope its not too hard for you and that its well worth it in another week or so.
Ferals hope your sex and the city day helped to lift your mood a little, and that your starting to feel a little better. Take your time going and seeing your friend, wait untill YOU are ready.
AFM af showed up this morning which im fine about because i knew i had missed ov time last month, so now just looking forward to trying again this month and ill be doing everything i can to be with DB when i o this month. Even if it means driving 3 hours away to spend the night with him
I just watched a thing on 60minutes about miscarriages and how scientists have found a way to help people who have had multiple mc to have a healthy pregnancy by using steroid injections. It was very interesting. Did anyone else happen to see it? Just goes to show that there is hope out there and that we will all get our little bundles of joy one day (hopefully sooner rather than later)
Just wondering who else has been and seen a FS at all throughout their TTC journey? DB has a mate whos wife has had 2 mc and just recently lost their little bub at 22 weeks. They were seeing a FS before that pregnancy and found him very helpful. I am wondering whether it would be worth seeing this FS or just waiting a bit longer and hoping it happens. Weve been TTC for 12 months now with one mc in between that. Any suggestions anyone?
Hello to everyone else i missed and i hope you are all doing well.

[Looppylouie]

I just watched the 60 minutes segment too.... interesting. It should hopefully bring people's dreams come true for those unexplained m/c. Had tears in my eyes though... for the lady who had 20 m/c, I could never imagine what that'd be like, 3 is hard enough.

Eliselouise... I didn't see a FS until after my 3rd m/c (TTC over a period of 3 years) when my GP recommended it. I was told that they don't usually investigate repeat m/c until you've had about 3. It could be different depending on your circumstances and your GP. I'm not a person to ask questions, I just go along with things. If I had known it was going to be this hard I would've asked for a referral earlier. If you think you should go and see one, just ask (especially if your GP doesn't seem to confident in m/cs).... wont do you any harm.

em.... Welcome and sorry to hear of your loss. You are in right place for support. And ask as many questions as you need, there are lots of us who are in the same boat as you.

[budgi]

Hi all
its my first time here and 2 weeks ago i had my first miscarriage. I was 10.5 weeks. i was overseas when i fell PG and the day i got back, i started to bleed and had my first US, only to findout sac was empty. Have had the D&C now and have recovered well (physcially, emtionally well still recovering). Wanted to ask ppl how long after did they get their first AF and when did they TTC again. Some say first cycle is fine others say
2nd.
Dont know who to believe? OH yeah and i dont have a good GP so getting advice is very hard. thanks

[luna moth]

budgi - I'm so sad to hear of your loss. Where in Melbs are you? I used to live there and saw a couple of good GPs so am happy to pass on their details.

eliselouise - it's been sounding like you're in a really good place lately. I know it's going to be soon, that bfp of yours!

AFM - not much to report. I'm pretty happy with how this weird limbo period is going. It's about 8 weeks until the start of our first ttc cycle, which feels pretty close! When I was first told 6 months, it sounded like hell, but it hasn't been so bad. Things could always be worse...
(I mostly wrote that so I can go back and read it on Thursday when the wheels fall off, as they always do!)

[scarypinkfairy]

hey em and budgi sorry about your losses, glad you have found this forum though the girls on here are great.

budgi i had a d&c on monday after learning i had a missed m/c at my 12 week scan. baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. it has taken me a long time to get everything sorted, long story, but i am on the mend now and am waiting till i can ttc again. i was under the impression just to wait till you get your first af then you can try. hopefully we can be belly buddies together.

eliselouise85 there is only a 20% of conceiving every month and it says it make take up to a year to conceive if everything is right and bd at the correct time. if you want to you can see a fs, and you basically get a whole list of routine tests done. but if you have been pg once then you should be ok, it's only recurrent m/c where there is an increased risk there may be a problem.

[craftymummy9]

Evening Ladies

Well welcome to Em and Budgi we are all in the same boat here and can give hope and support to each other on our journey TTC, some of us are young and having there 1st and some of us are older (much older) and trying for another baby after having MC.
This forum has been a great help and support to me and the girls on here are sweet and friendly and we all know how it feels to loose a baby so if we can help in any way we will

Mummyof4 so sorry you are still in so much pain you were doing so well and this is just the set back you didn't need right now but you have to carry on and look to the future !

Spfairy hope your doing better today your nearly there not much more pain and you'll soon be Bdancing the rest of the month,

Everyone else hope your all ok and feeling POSITIVE its what gets us what we want !

AFM well after 4 days of taking VITEX guess what ! yes AF finally arrived I was so pleased to see her a proper red one this time no black sh-- the real macoy ! (probably nothing to do with the vitex but who knows )
so im thinking maybe im not passed it yet ! Just counting the days and waiting for the posty to bring my DAMN OPK STICKS ! if they are not here by day 10 im off the COLES like matthews mum said !

Anyways love and is sent your way

[Matthew's Mum]

Morning all,Craftymummy-so pleased af arrivedfor you,it a relief to see her when your worrying about her stopping altogether.Good luck with this cycle...Twin sister-good to have you back from holidays...Emmy83-Hope you can find something to occupy your mind through the waiting...Eliselouise-I to watched the 60 minutes program as well'it's good seeing miscarriage being discussed & acknowledged by the media.Iwas seeing a ob/gyn through my last pregnancy ,he was also a fs so when i lost Matthew,he gave me 3 cycles to concieve naturally,then started me on clomid,as due to my age he wanted me to fall sooner than later.You usually need a referral from gp so you could talk to them about your situation.Good luck with this cycle...Em-Welcome to the thread,sorry about your loss,good luck with ttc again...Budgi-Welcome to you also,sorry for your loss.I started ttc as soon as i physically could,everyone seems different as to when first af visit after loss.My fs said first cycle was fine...

[ric]

hi em and budie, welcome to this forum. its good to talk to someone and share your grief and concerns after such a loss; and this is a great place to share your feelings and emmtions and take some advice on issues which u cant talk to anyone else and ladies here are nice and mature.
craftymummy - so finally AF showed for u, are you having cramps and pain or just regular AF? Good idea to buy from Coles if posty is not here on time....
EliseLouise - I too watched that segment on 60 minutes about the m/c and the
treatment...and the interview of the couple. that brought tears in my eyes, its good that doc's can now suppress the killer cells by giving steriod injections and can have a healthy preg. without any m/c.
SPF - how are you feeling? hope things are getting better and better.
MurrayCod - How are you, still having cramps or feeling better now? with me i am feeling allright and waiting for 10 days to fly soon, lets see.
Matthews Mum - i can understand the story you said about the prego mum at kindy gym.. ifaced the same thing in my work place....me and my colleage's fall preg at same time but i m/c and she is now 21 weeks preg...it was too hard , it reminds me of my loss...and now she is planning to go on maternity leave in dec or start jan...the only things keeps me motivated that i will be prego soon and that too carrying a healthy preg and healthy bub.
Ferrals4 - you are busy googling vitex etc...i think its a good idea, i should do that as well, as i dont know much about them and its good to have knowledge about every thing related.

hello to all i missed and all the best for everyone in 12 - 14 days wait....

[India's Mum]

Hi

I've been trying to stay away from the boards so that I am not obsessing constantly about TTC. DH and I decided to only keep trying up to the end of the year and then gracefully accept that another baby was just not on the cards for us. Because we only had a couple more goes I started acupuncture last week to maximise our chances. However, I think it might already be too late. This should be my most fertile time and I just don't seem to have the ovulation signs. Normally my most obvious sign is the CM but instead of it leading toward EWCM there doesn't seem to be any at all. It was a little under the normal amounts last month too. I can't even discuss it with anyone as my doctor is away for an undetermined period.

I thought I was beginning to cope with not having another baby but I realise that isn't the case at all. We bought a small wagon over the weekend and I should feel excited but I feel flat. We'd been saving for a little while and it was to be our family car (complete with DVD screens in the backseat for the kids) but now all I can think about is the baby I lost who was reason we started looking for a new car.

Add to that, I thought as a way to make myself accept not having a baby again, that I would look for a couple of days a week of work. A contact has rung me out of the blue offering 3 days a week but I don't want it. I don't want to work at all - I want to be home with DD and a new baby and I don't want this dream to be over so soon!

[ferrals5]

Hey Sammy was wondering what happened to you i'm sorry to hear you not copeing so well i go for a while where i feel ok about maybe not being able to give my DH a healthy bub and then somtimes i lose it and desperately want to and wont give up until my body says enough but dont panic to much about the ewcm i use to get it when i was younger and over the years it stopped i very rearly get it i think i have seen it once in about 5 years but i still got pregnant and im still fertile my FS said some women dont get it my cm just goes real watery when im fertile (sorry for TMI) and with high estrogen you are supose to get heaps of ewcm not me.
And i know how you feel with work i have worked full time for over 10 years and just recently dropped back to 3 days a week ready for our ivf and now i might not be able to do it everyone at work is saying are you going back to full time i dont want to i want to get pregnant and relax and enjoy being pregnant but i dont know what to do yet i feel guilty not working enough when im not pregnant.

eliselouise-i loved my sex in the city day thanks i have one more episode then im on to the movie i have seen them all HE HE but i love them.

Welcome bugi and em sorry for the circumstances

Hey to all the other BB ladies hope all is well.

[budgi]

Hello Ladies
You have all been so kind and supportive in your replies, thank you i think i will TTC after my first AF when it FINALLY comes, i can feel it cooking but no show!. It really nice to be able to know i cant vent and chat to ppl who know my head space.
When i found out i was PG we had only just started to TTC we think he got me first or second shot! My sister had only just announced she was PG 4 days before! she had been trying for almost 2 years, then my sister-in-law also quietly told me she too was PG (had previoulsy 3 mc) which meant the three of us were PG all with in 2 weeks of eachothers, when i told the famliy i was PG the whole famliy on both sides were overthe moon with excitment. But this was not to be. FIrst was my sis-inlaw, who mc 2 weeks later at 10weeks, then me, 2 weeks later at 10 weeks(blited ovum, empty sac with 2mm pole). Then to add salt to my wound, i found out that a close collegue at work was 9 weeks PG (a week behinde me).
Thanks to god my sis is going strong MS and all, and my work collegue has her first US this week. As excitied as i am for my sis i am heartbroken. We should be going through it all together. I went mat cloth shopping with her on the weekend as as I am very close to my sister i went to support her.I held it together until i got in my car then I cried. i cried till i couldnt breathe. we BOTH should be buying clothes and swapping symptoms together. I am truely not jealous of her, am just sad its not both of us. I am sorry going on for so long, but i dont want to talk about my feelings with my sis, not to upset her. i speak with by DP but i can see how sad he gets when he sees me sad, so i try to spare him. I have gone on long enough, thanks for letting me post my feelings. Will let you all know when AF arrives.

[budgi]

budgi - I'm so sad to hear of your loss. Where in Melbs are you? I used to live there and saw a couple of good GPs so am happy to pass on their details. in the north... is that near where you were??

eliselouise - it's been sounding like you're in a really good place lately. I know it's going to be soon, that bfp of yours!

AFM - not much to report. I'm pretty happy with how this weird limbo period is going. It's about 8 weeks until the start of our first ttc cycle, which feels pretty close! When I was first told 6 months, it sounded like hell, but it hasn't been so bad. Things could always be worse...
(I mostly wrote that so I can go back and read it on Thursday when the wheels fall off, as they always do!)

[murraycod]

Welcome back from Holidays TwinSis!! Hope you had some relaxing time out!

Emmy83 25 sleeps, you will get good news either way, cuz in the end you are going to get a huge big fat positive nomatter how you have to get it X We all here with you for the ride babes X

em...sorry you have found your way here, but welcome my Darling, I'm sure your stay will be a supportive one, I have made some great friends here X You will too X
A lot of girls ask when they can start TTC again, I think once you have a full propper cycle everything should be ok, as long as Doc says you are healthy X
I wanted to try straight away, but I also had to be strong enough in myself to handle more bad news if it happened. I think I am, but who knows hey X

Mummyof4 hope that you are feeling better today, and things have leveled out for you after a good sleep X

Hi Eliselouise, even though you knew this month was a miss, sorry you got AF babes X
I missed the 60mins show but a friend taped it for me, I heard all about it at work from the girls today, sounds very interesting. Thanks for asking of me XX
You know seeing a FS can't hurt, they can at the very least do some bloods and give you a bit of guidance, or a bit of a push along

Budgi sorry you have found your way here too, so sorry for your loss hun, RIP little Angel XX And welcome to BB

Snuggly I have my Jack and Shifter ready X Hope all is well and stays that way for you hun. Be here for you wheneva you need so just gimme a hoy

SPF how are you doing anyway one week past? Hope that you are getting back to normal, not that many of us know what that is anymore, but I hope youre doing ok X

Craftymummy YAY for AF Sweety!!!! I do hope you get those darn sticks already....tell that postie of yours to get a move on there's some babymaking to do!!!!

Hi Matthew'smum I hope you are coping ok, you are always so high spitrited to everyone, are you taking Clomid ATM?? I can never remember where you are with your cycle !! Sorry

Hi Ric sweetypie X God this TWW is a killer!

SammyP I'm sorry you are feeling so flat babe X It's hard I know, and the light at the end of the tunnel is so far from reach X We will help you get through this, you will get through this. You have been so strong
What was the 3 days work offered? Have you said no yet? As much as you don't wan't to take this step in your life, it could work out to be a positive one, you never know what keeping buisy with something new can do! X Whateva decision you make you are 100% supported here my friend.

Ferrals I dropped back to 7days a fortnight since starting IUI, and finding that hard enough to juggle!!! Bloody bodies not doi'n as they told....I dunno!

Hi to everybody I missed X Gee I'm sure I posted on Saturday and there was like a page and a bit to catch up on geez!X

AFM, I have been crampy again today, but a different cramp from the first week, it's exactly like AF cramping, same as last month, same day and all, so I'm praying it isn't a bad sign for things to come. My last Pregnyl inj tomorrow morning, 1 week in, and suprisingly going nice and constant. But I just feel confident one minute, unsure the next. Doin ok though XXX

Have a nice night everybody X Fresh BabyDust to all XX

[scarypinkfairy]

craftymummy9 good news about the af in a weird kinda way. at least you know your body is in full working order now, must be a hugh relief for you

ric and budgi why do our work colleagues have to be pg at the same time!? it makes it so much harder. luckily my work colleagues that was due when i was has left. i don't know how i could have coped seeing her everyday, i think you just have to be strong and think next time it will be your turn.

murraycod, i hope this is your month not very clued up about iui, when do you find out for sure? do you just do a hpt?

SammyP why have you only given yourself to the end of the year? it sounds like you really want a baby and it's only adding pressure by giving yourself a deadline. i think if the work you got offered was something you want to do you should take it. it's good to keep your mind occupied with things other than being pg. then when you get pg you can always quit if you want to! also, the cycle i got pg i didn't notice any ewcm, i think some people just naturally get more than others. have you thought about ovulation tracking or opks?

afm i am doing really well, feeling much more like my old self i think dh is glad to have the old me back.

[Sparkles]

Welcome to any newbies!! YOu'll find heaps of support here!!
SPF - glad to hear you're on the way up!!

Well, i am officially a nutter, as of this morning, 7DPO!! Our dog sleeps in laundry at night and never wees inside. Well when i was pregnant last time, she did once before we knew about my BFP then every night for a whole week after our baby would have passed but we didn't know. Since the day we got back from our ultrasound she has not done it again, so we really think she must have known!. So woke up this morning, and she has wee'd in the laundry...i was so relaxed about this month and now i can't stop over analysing...bloody pets and their sixth sense, just makes me wonder!! Oh well, only time will tell...hope everyone else is well xx

[India's Mum]

Hi Girls

Thanks for the support. My concern with the lack of EWCM is that it wasn't a gradual decrease but a sudden stop, like turning of the tap. I fear that is an indicator that i am not ovulating at all. If my Dr were available I would have a test to see if I were ovulating but she's not working at present and I don't want to start fresh with a a new Dr at this point.

The work I have been offered is in the print/design field. Two days I wouldn't mind as DD(2) could be looked after by my Mum in her own home but if I took three days then she would have to go into some form of childcare and I don't think that DD or I are quite ready for that yet.

The reason for the deadline is that I'm already 10 months over the deadline my doctor suggested for me. The OB gave me a little more time and said that having a baby up to the age of 44 wasn't such a huge deal but beyond that the risks were considerable. DH really doesn't want to take that risk.

[Eenee]

hi all, thanks for the warm welcome. it's nice to have the support.

just a question, do you ovulate normally after a miscarriage? my normal is usually later in the cycle. so just wondering whether I could ovulate earlier this time. ok so thats probably a stupid question!