evening everyone,Craftymummy-If you are worried about menapause,the test they do is a blood test-but after a loss our cycles are so mixed up,hoping it's that for you(hot flushes are not much fun)...ric-sorry your cycles are mixed up to,hope g.p can give you some answers...Babyluv-sorry about your loss,as for the courage to try again' try to keep your eye on the prize'.A pregnancy after loss is going to be hard,but many people have done it.My doctor told me to ask for extra scans if needed for reassurance.And take one day at a time,good luck .
Matthew'sMum youre right, what did happen to having sex and falling pregnant????????? Why us? Why do we have trouble?..................I wish I knew the answer. One thing I do know.........It's not fair.
Sparkles, I went to the chemist yesterday, and one of my friends came running up to me screaming "Im pregnant I'm pregnant!!! All youre work must have rubbed off onto me instead. How about that! Oh bad luck for last month by the way I heard it didn't work again"
If I was not in public I think I would have slapped her. When I wen't home and whinged to DH about it, he replied " You should be happy for her because you would want people to be happy for you."
Life really sucked yesterday. It was like screaming in a crowded room with nobody listening to me...........or caring.
Today I feel a bit happier, just one 'friend' shorter.
TwinSis, Men can be just on a different plannet than we are. Sometimes they just 'Don't Get It'. I'm sorry you had a tiff with your DH. I hope everything is ok now XXX And enjoy Vancouver and well deserved time off babe X We don't celebrate ThanksGiving in Australia, I think Christmas with the family is enough in a year for me!!
Craftymummy I have those same dreams!
Ric I'm guessing that if you bled for 4-5days middle Sept, you would take that as AF and to be due again around 11-12Oct. But I would only be guessing.Mabey a BT might have some answers where you are at??
I can't beleive how quick this month is going already. We need a BFP soon girls.........
Babyluv welcome to the forum X Sorry you have to be here, but we are a great bunch of chickies to chat too.
So have you had your wedding??
I don't know if you would call it courage to get pregnant again, more an obsession of desperately needing
I am terrified of the first twele weeks of being pregnant again, the girls here though are a great support and I'm sure we will all get through it together.
Good evening to everybody XX Half way through the week already!!!
Me same old same old, anoth Puregon 50iu down in the book X
Just a little note to my angel baby. I know there are others coming to their would be due dates. I just needed to get this off my chest.. Dont mind me not being posting much..Im chosing to lurk, it's getting a bit too much for me at the moment..[/COLOR]
love you all and thanks so much for your support too xxx
] Feeling flat, feeling lost
Feeling ill, the fever a frost
Feeling empty, feeling blue
In about 11 days time, we would have held you
Tried so hard to fight the urge
To scream and cry and openly mourn
The tree in the yard when it blooms I see
The gift from a god, that will never be
The pilow is soaked, yet again
Another month goes by and I see no end
I want to be done, I want to be free
Why angel why, didn't you chose to be with me
Feeling like a freak
Looking like a wreck
Seeing a woman weak
About nothing else I think
I know Im not alone
I know you've felt it too
I know what you've gone through but it doesnt comfort me
My feelings don't mirror you
The constant blame, and questioning
Was it ever me? Did you not love me?
The ache in my chest, the lump in my throat
Killing the time, writing a note
Looking for solace, and escaping these fears
I dread those few days where I know you would be here
I want you to know, angel dear
while I watch your tree grow you feel so near
I keep you close to my heart, even though we're worlds apart
My tears will be acid in about 11 days
I cannot deny it
The burning and the shame of still bearing the grief
The love I still feel, the anger and rage
I cannot deny, that in about 11 days I will be wishing...wishing for relief
To break these chains of the grief
Month after month I dread
turning the calendar and marking the day red
My biggest fears coming true and I know Im sick of hearing that It's early too.
To me you were real,
Your heart beating made it true
I clung for that moment, even though in my heart I knew.
I was already losing you...
Last edited by Inanna; October 8th, 2009 at 10:46 AM.
Coco... I hope those words helped with easing the pain.... they did for me. It was lovely for you to post it.
I havent been on here much since I joined not long ago, so many posts for me to read (I think it was about 12 pages) and lots of things have happened. Sorry about all your losses and the arrival of dreaded AF. Fingers crossed for those who are in TTW mode and those who have got the BFP!
I too feel the pain of hearing of people I know are pg. It's hard... I know I dont show my fustration to others (even DH) but deep down it hurts. I secretly hope they too m/c so they know what its all about. That's horrible to think that but I'm sure you know what I mean.
AFM..... i'm on day 5 of taking clomid for the first time after a 55 day cycle. Was hard within that cycle cause I had had a lap and hystoscopy (spelling??) at the beginning of it and waiting for AF to arrive was fustrating. I thought maybe after a 'clear out' things might at least be a bit more normal (as in cycle length). But you learn to listen to your body and the sign of AF become clearer. I'm hoping now after being on clomid I get a BFP. I am so niave about it all. I'm 30, loving my life with my dogs at the moment (I travel with them doing dog agility) and if it happens, it happens... but I really want a baby. I guess its hard cause even though my DH is supportive and all, it seems he doesnt care about what lies ahead (changes to our life, money issues, me not wanting to work full time when it seems I will have no choice) and we will sort it out when the time comes.... it doesnt work like that!!
Hi girls,
Been lurking and popping in on and off. Just wanted to update.
Went to see FS on monday and had a great appointment in which he agreed to treat Donor daddy and I as a couple and start IUI. As we are not together it should be treatred as a donor insemination and this would have required donor daddy's sperm to be frozen for 6 months before we could we could use it. I said this was ridiculous as I'd been inseminating myself with it for 20+ months. He agreed. So we went over to the IVF clinic and acted like a straight couple which was quite fun and donor daddy said afterwards was yet another shared expereince that brought us closer together . The IVF clinic ran bloods and FS had scanned my ovaries and I was still not close to Oing even at day 17. In one way this was good news I though as essentially we could have our first IUI this month. However, as with anything on this journey things do not go to plan and the blood tet was not conclusive as to whether I will o this month or not, even on 100mg clomid, seriously what do my blooming eggs need, dynamite???
So now I have to have another blood test on thursday to confirm (or not) that I will be oing and we can go from there. Either way it messes us up for a try next month as donor daddy will be away at the right time. If i don't o then I have to take tablets to bring on my period and then start hormone injections. Welcome to the world of assisted fertility
Seems we are all feeling a bit worried and frustrated and sad. Lets hope it all feels more positive soon.
Last edited by Sunbeam; October 7th, 2009 at 08:55 AM.
Hey Sunbeam! good to hear from you and i'm happy that you have a FS that is going to help you to as a couple we will be on the rollercoaster together.
Ok so now i'm freaking just spoke to the pgd nurse about a cycle in dec if this one dosn't work and she said a lot of women have a anovulatory cycle (don't ovulate) after ivf so if that happen's to me she said i might not get a period in dec to do another cycle before the new rebate system kick's in and we won't be able to afford it in the new year WTF! talk about pressure for this cycle to work.
DH and i talked about trying natrually after dec and take the risk of and effected baby being conceived and we both agreed if the ivf dosn't work out we will try as many time's as possible for a healty baby until my 37th bday then call it quit's.
This whole thing sux we have good fertility can get pregnant but have this stupid faulty gene that is causing all the problem's.
morning all,Murraycod-Sorry about the chemist incident,glad you're feeling a bit brighter,hope it has continued on today...Coco-Your words were beautiful...Loopylouie-good luck with this cycle...Sunbeam-Good luck with the iui,hope doing something different will give you renewed hope..Ferrals-fingers crossed for this cycle.This new rebate system sounds harsh,what is the government thinking????
. The IVF clinic ran bloods and FS had scanned my ovaries and I was still not close to Oing even at day 17. In one way this was good news I though as essentially we could have our first IUI this month. However, as with anything on this journey things do not go to plan and the blood tet was not conclusive as to whether I will o this month or not, even on 100mg clomid, seriously what do my blooming eggs need, dynamite??? 
If i don't o then I have to take tablets to bring on my period and then start hormone injections. Welcome to the world of assisted fertility 
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