Dory - Thanks for your wise words yet again. With all these pearls of wisdom you're giving me, it won't be long before I'm somewhat of an oracle like you are.

Possum - So sweet of you to congratulate me even in the midst of your own heartache. You're a shining example of strength. I'm so sorry for your loss, and very touched you would even mention me at all. And I know how hard it is when there's a 'pregnancy convention' happening at a time like this. Do your best to bury your head in the sand, and just focus on healing. Take care, sweetie.

Reet - Yep, going to the doctor in a couple of hours time. I'm nervous and excited to have it all confirmed. About mum... it's so hard to explain. She really DOES mean to push my buttons. She actually said it's her right to talk to me however she wants because I'm HERS. Nice. Like I'm an object. I tried to post a massive rant about her here the other night but I lost the whole thing, so I took that as a sign. It's not worth mentioning, clearly. She's totally toxic, and I'm FINISHED with her. FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To deny her pg daughter food, and stress me out the way she did, F her. We had a huge fight before I left yesterday, and she actually got up out of her seat and stormed over to me as if she was going to hit me. I was so mad I got my things, and sat outside until it was time to go to the airport. I don't need someone like that in my life. So that's it for her. She's treated me like dirt my whole life, I'm cutting her out.

Sorry to go on and on like that. LOL.... I'm pretty riled up about the whole thing. Anyway, Don't feel bad for having a little episode. i cry too when I think about how old our baby would be now. Actually right now I could cry over anything... hehe. I say better out than in though, and even better if you can do it in privacy. I hope you're feeling better after a good cry, and keep us posted on DH's sperm analysis. FX it all comes back looking good. Best of luck, hun.

AFM, I walked in the door at almost 11pm last night.... and MAN it's good to be home! I forgot what it was like to have a clean house! DP was excited to see me, and patted my belly asking if 'everything is ok in there'. hehe.. cute. I also POAS this morning (cause I can, why not?!) and the test line came up so fast, I wondered where the control line was. It was also so much darker. I'm happy about that. DP said while I was away he kept looking at our two little lines every time he went into the bathroom. So sweet. Things are so different this time around. So far I haven't felt the fear I thought I would about mc again. I mean it's kind of there, but I think I'm ok for now.

Anyhoo, sorry about all the me-ness...... I really needed to debrief after my crazy trip back 'home'.

Take care ladies, and I hope you all don't mind me hanging around like this. Have a great weekend everyone!