Adele i hope you have a relaxing time at the wellness retreat on the weekend. I think you must be such a strong woman to be doing as well as you are considering what you have been through. I am sure your partner is supportive and understands your emotions/rage/irrational thoughts. When you go through something so emotionally devastating it is definitely going to change the dynamic of your relationship and put extra pressure on you for a little while. You have to keep yourself at number 1.. and really focus on your own health and do what you need to do to keep sane. Everyone gets angry/upset/depressed when they suffer a horrible loss.
I keep saying time is the only means to heal these scars... by God i wished someone would fast foward the clock Healing is so much easier said than done. Take care and stay strong. Your strength and determination are demonstrated just by your countless posts and warm wishes to others. You are an inspiration. Good things will come to those who wait... even if we have experienced the bad things first. At least we do not wait alone.... all of us on this forum are waiting together.
mannie i feel the same... like everyone but me is probably fertile after m/c. Like DH and i could probably have sex every day for the next month and still not conceive....... must try and look at the positives though - at least there will be plenty of fun trying right
sorry i've been busy & havent been on since last week... hope everyone is well!
JOEY: CONGRATS! hope it will be a happy & healthy pg!
update on my iui: (jen) i havent had any feelings that i've conceived. the only difference in this cycle is im having very few cramps - previous cycles i've had them consistently around o day til af, so im thinking thats cos of the clomid & trigger injection. nothing interesting!
anyways thats my bit for today - sorry it's so short! i've got to give up the comp to my sisters...
hopefully i can be back tomorrow during work for more persies!
Thanks everyone for your kind welcomes. I hope for everyone too that we have a short stay here
Babyfever good luck with the tests.
Emmykate Rant away hun
Dellydoo good on you for taking the step for counselling. I hope it helps with the frustration you are feeling
Lou welcome hun and I am sorry to hear your loss. I am on cycle number 2 since my MC (had D&C at 8w5d after 10days of bleeding). I felt (and still do sometimes feel) sad! I felt empty and lost. I wondered why it couldnt be and why we could never meet our wee angel. I feel like I have let DH down and feel that I couldnt give him what he wants just as much as what I do. All I wanted to do was cry and have DH hold me!
The first cycle after my MC I wanted to TTC straight away, not to replace my angel but because I just so desperately want to be a mum. My Dr gave me the all clear so we did. Unfortunately here I am, cycle number 2 after MC and still waiting. I am feeling much better though about the MC. I still have my moments of sadness and emtpyness and wonder why my body let me down, but it does get easier I promise.
I dunno why, but I have lost a bit of hope this cycle. I dont know exactly if I have ov'ed. Early in the cycle I had heaps of EWCM but I've only a small amounts of it in the last 2 days. So I dunno!
everyone else. I hope everyone is having a great night?!
Emmykate - I don't think you're being *****y at all. Some women just don't realise how lucky they are. You should've heard some of the things DH had to say about some of the women he saw while i was in hospital for my D&C. From my room you could see the hospital entrance and he was shocked at the number of pregnant women smoking outside. One of them looked about 6 months (7 at most) and we had seen her in emergency 2 days earlier because her waters broke. Go figure!
Joey - Congratulations! We need you to keep in touch to give us hope around here.
Tam - I hope you get some answers soon.
Louise - I am so sorry for your loss. I think empty sums up how I felt and still feel now. I have bouts of sadness, crying, screaming, anger, frustration but emptiness is the one constant. I had a D&C and it was my first encounter with general anaesthetic. I felt completely disorientated after that. Some part of me kept hoping that it didn't happen. Afterall, I have no memory of it. But then there's the physical emptiness too.
Adele - I've been thinking of you too. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time A wellness retreat sounds perfect - I'm so jealous. Is your DP going too? It sounds like you could do with the time together. I can totally sympathise with feeling angry with your body. I didn't eat for about a week. I'd been forcing myself to eat when I didn't feel like it due to m/s for 4 weeks and I just didn't see the point in forcing myself if I wasn't hungry. It was only me that would suffer now. As long as DP lets you rant and rave and then holds you when you cry.
and to Babyfever, Ruthie, mannie, hannah, and babyonboard!
chappas--Glad to hear DH's scan went well and you got the green light to begin TTC again! :goodluck2:
smi--What a positive, and inspiring epiphany! You go girl!
joey--Here's some to carry over to the PAML thread! Wishing you a healthy and happy pg'cy!
mollycat--Ahhh... touche! I'm still here, just plodding along... thinking this won't be the month for me, despite all the BD'ing at the right times and the "high" conception score--today's temp went in the opposite direction than what I had hoped. Grrr...so I've kinda given up hope already for this cycle. *sigh*
I'm never going to give up on your miracle, going to keep those going! Are there no other options aside from IVF that you can try?
Emmykate--Sorry to hear about your cr@ppy day! Rant away...You are certainly NOT being a cow! It's absolutely ridiculous that some people are given such an amazing gift, yet they tarnish and pollute that gift by drinking and smoking.... while we go to such great lengths to be blessed with such a gift, only to have it ripped away from us! It's cruel and there's absolutely no logic to it whatsoever!
I recommend getting a BBT thermometer and starting up a chart on FF (fertility friend) so you can figure out where you are in your cycle. It's such a great help when you actually know what's going on with your body! Plus, it's something to do that makes you feel like you're doing something proactive and useful--but it's very addicting!
That sux about having to put off your internship... I think the world needs more women docs! Woo hoo--girl power!
issy--Now there's a familiar face that I haven't seen in a while! We could never forget about you, issy! Good luck with your BT's this week! Always good to hear from you!
louise-- I'm sorry that it's under such sad circumstances that we have to meet... Some words that come to mind when I think of how I felt after my m/c in Mar. are depleted, empty, angry, confused, bitter, overwhelmed by grief, and complete devastation. It's honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with in my whole entire life! However, it does get better... it just takes time... and we're all individual, so it takes some of us longer than others. I assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel--and we'll help you get there! Feel free to pull up a seat and join us on this bumpy ride--you've come to the right place for comfort and support!
Tam--:goodluck2: with your FS appt, u/s results, and DH's results!
Healing is so much easier said than done. Take care and stay strong. Your strength and determination are demonstrated just by your countless posts and warm wishes to others. You are an inspiration. Good things will come to those who wait... even if we have experienced the bad things first. At least we do not wait alone.... all of us on this forum are waiting together.
everyone else. I hope everyone is having a great night?!
We need you to keep in touch to give us hope around here.
A wellness retreat sounds perfect - I'm so jealous. Is your DP going too? It sounds like you could do with the time together. I can totally sympathise with feeling angry with your body. I didn't eat for about a week. I'd been forcing myself to eat when I didn't feel like it due to m/s for 4 weeks and I just didn't see the point in forcing myself if I wasn't hungry. It was only me that would suffer now. As long as DP lets you rant and rave and then holds you when you cry.
I'm sorry that it's under such sad circumstances that we have to meet... 
results!
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