Emmykate82 - what a pig! its just not fair hey!! everytime I see a pg woman with a cigarette in her hand I just want to run over and put a plastic bag over her head with the cigarette still in her mouth and say SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!!!!!!!!
Im ttcing even though I only finished bleeding from my m/c 2 weeks ago I thought what the hell who knows they reckon your more fertile after a m/c hmmmm lets see ..probably for everyone else but me!
hi mannie, emmykate,
I'm new to all this as well and have had a similar experience. i too didnt have a lot of bleeding so lived in limbo for days with inbetween spotting and passing a bit of clotty blood (sorry tmi) and no other symptoms. I had the u/s I was 6.5 weeks yesterday to find that my uterus is empty - there's nothing there. i had m/c and looked as though all had naturally passed thru so no further procedures but blood tests to make sure its no ectopic which they dont think it is. we have been trying since march.
that feeling of empty inside and my body slowly returning to pre pregnancy normal feels really wierd.
good luck to you both and thank you for posting your stories as i feel so much better knowing there are others out there that understand and i'm not alone. albeit i hope no one has to go thru these things alone.
one question - how did you guys feel afterwards (m/c i mean)?
LOU
Babyfever - I am lucky that I just had a BT this time, so I don't spend all my time looking at sticks... but i know exactly what you mean!! Good to hear that your boobs are huge... i hope that means a BFP for a big fat on friday
Larz - I too know what dissapointment feels like, but feeling apprehensive now, isn't going to make the pain any less if something goes wrong, so why not just assume that all will be in perfect order and enjoy the ride. Take care hun.
Emmykate - thanks hun!! Oh sweetie, I hope you feel better soon. Thinking of you.
AFM - I'm feeling very positive about this little rasin, so I have make my mark in the PAML thread, and will be back every now and again to stalk you and see who's getting their BFP's.
Take care, and thank you so much, everyone, for all the love and support you have given me over the last four months. You have all been fantastic, and this roller-coaster ride wouldn't have been any where as easy without you.
Sticky vibes for you all. Hope to see you in the PAML thread soon.
Joey Just wanted to say a congrats on your BFP sending you lots of
Mannie I've been checking my cm as well but still nothing. I also brought a maybe baby and though it was a waste of money. I purchased an OV watch which tells you the four days b4 ovulation and the day of ovulation. You just need to wear the watch for 6 hrs a day (e.g when your sleeping) I used it b4 my last pg and got pg that cycle. Google it and you will find the website. My watch says I am fertile day 2 at the moment so two more days b4 ovulation.
Emmykate I know what you mean. With my job I see alot of the lower socio-economic society (drug addicted ppl) and they have healthy beautiful babies and I think to myself WTF!!!! My DH and I would be wonderful parents and give it everything it needing included a healthy and safe environment.
Babyfever Good luck with your HCG results tomorrow I hope they are high, high, high and keep getting higher for you BFP. I am sorry the lady taking the BT was so rude she obviously doesn't understand the anxiety involved in ttc after a miscarriage.
Ruthie I hope th next two months fly by and your new doc can give you all the answers and help you need.
Everyone else I missed sending you all lots of
AFM I have been feeling kind down lately and feel that DH and I will never have a forever baby. It been 1 year since we TTC and had two miscarriages. We have an appointment with the FS tomorrow to get the results from DH sperm test and my u/s results hopefully we get the all clear and dont need IVF. DH and I have started since ovulation should be friday/saturday according to my ov watch. Haven't got any sticky CM yet though.
Hi All
I have been off line feeling VERY sorry for myself for the last couple of days and have almost caught up with all the news.
Ruthie - I totally get what you mean about people saying ridiculous things. People keep saying "at least you know you can get pregnant" and I turned to my girlfriend the other day and said NO - At MOST I know can get pg! Honestly when people start a sentence with "at least" and then go on to tell you about someone else who had a "worse" experience I want to scream. That and the ones that start "I know someone"...no false hope please. - Rant over, Hugs to you honey.
Hannah - taking all of what I just said and forgiving everyone who says it because who the hell knows what to say to people in pain. You are right I cringe at some of the things I must have said to people in the past. I have been thinking a lot about you honey and sending you much love.
Tam - fingers crossed all is well for you and DH - but even getting some answers will hopefully give you something to work with.
Emmykate - I had a girlfriend (we are no longer friends) who smoked and drank happily through her two pregnancies and was delighted her babies were underweight - there is seriously no justice sometimes.
Louise - Welcome and so sorry to hear of your loss. I think stunned is the best word to describe how I felt. Just horrified and lots of shouting WHY at the world. Darling we are all here to support you.
Joey - wonderful news - everytime I see a BFP I think oh yeah that's going to be me soon. Well done sweetheart!
AFM - going to my first counselling session on Thursday as I am not coping as well as I thought. Had a big meltdown b4 DP and I went out for dinner as a shirt I had bought didn't fit right as my bbs have shrunk so much and I could not believe how angry I got with DP. I realised that I was so angry at my body for letting me down and I was not dealing with it effectively. I have also been asked to come back to work but that will mean being in Bris with DP in Syds. I get so mad as when I was pg I knew the role I had and did not mind not working - now I am consumed by my uselessness. I don't really want to do anything and need to get myself motivated. I am going to Gwinganna on Sunday for a 5 day wellness retreat so here's hoping it sorts me out.
Love to you all - sorry if I have missed anyone
Adele
Lou,
It has only been 3 weeks for me now and i still feel weird. Like you i was fortunate to have had a complete m/c so i didnt need any further intervention. Immediately after my m/c was confirmed i felt empty.. i felt like all my signs and symptoms had disappeared and i was devastated. I didnt want hubby to touch me and i definitely didn't want people to be around me. i just wanted to cry and sleep. After about a week i started to be more accepting.. and i started being intimate with hubby again. Recently my nausea and bad skin etc are back and i first thought maybe i was preg again cos u can be really fertile after a m/c... but most ppl advise this is still just my hormones playing tricks.. and my body getting back into it's regular rhythm. I feel ready to TTC again but there are days when i am so depressed and devastated (like today). I still feel empty, useless, unfairly treated by God. I feel like my body has let me down and i am terrified that it will do so repeatedly. I am scared to death of being pregnant again. I had everything to offer, i did nothing wrong, we were healthy and ready for this baby. Only God knows why.. and i think the answer is to stop asking.
Everyone feels differently... and it is all normal. There is no right way to feel. There is no right time to move on. There is no right time to TTC again. It is completely individual.
I am so sorry you had to go through this too. Hopefully God will bring us less suffering and more joy in the future.
Adele i hope you have a relaxing time at the wellness retreat on the weekend. I think you must be such a strong woman to be doing as well as you are considering what you have been through. I am sure your partner is supportive and understands your emotions/rage/irrational thoughts. When you go through something so emotionally devastating it is definitely going to change the dynamic of your relationship and put extra pressure on you for a little while. You have to keep yourself at number 1.. and really focus on your own health and do what you need to do to keep sane. Everyone gets angry/upset/depressed when they suffer a horrible loss.
I keep saying time is the only means to heal these scars... by God i wished someone would fast foward the clock Healing is so much easier said than done. Take care and stay strong. Your strength and determination are demonstrated just by your countless posts and warm wishes to others. You are an inspiration. Good things will come to those who wait... even if we have experienced the bad things first. At least we do not wait alone.... all of us on this forum are waiting together.
mannie i feel the same... like everyone but me is probably fertile after m/c. Like DH and i could probably have sex every day for the next month and still not conceive....... must try and look at the positives though - at least there will be plenty of fun trying right
sorry i've been busy & havent been on since last week... hope everyone is well!
JOEY: CONGRATS! hope it will be a happy & healthy pg!
update on my iui: (jen) i havent had any feelings that i've conceived. the only difference in this cycle is im having very few cramps - previous cycles i've had them consistently around o day til af, so im thinking thats cos of the clomid & trigger injection. nothing interesting!
anyways thats my bit for today - sorry it's so short! i've got to give up the comp to my sisters...
hopefully i can be back tomorrow during work for more persies!
Thanks everyone for your kind welcomes. I hope for everyone too that we have a short stay here
Babyfever good luck with the tests.
Emmykate Rant away hun
Dellydoo good on you for taking the step for counselling. I hope it helps with the frustration you are feeling
Lou welcome hun and I am sorry to hear your loss. I am on cycle number 2 since my MC (had D&C at 8w5d after 10days of bleeding). I felt (and still do sometimes feel) sad! I felt empty and lost. I wondered why it couldnt be and why we could never meet our wee angel. I feel like I have let DH down and feel that I couldnt give him what he wants just as much as what I do. All I wanted to do was cry and have DH hold me!
The first cycle after my MC I wanted to TTC straight away, not to replace my angel but because I just so desperately want to be a mum. My Dr gave me the all clear so we did. Unfortunately here I am, cycle number 2 after MC and still waiting. I am feeling much better though about the MC. I still have my moments of sadness and emtpyness and wonder why my body let me down, but it does get easier I promise.
I dunno why, but I have lost a bit of hope this cycle. I dont know exactly if I have ov'ed. Early in the cycle I had heaps of EWCM but I've only a small amounts of it in the last 2 days. So I dunno!
everyone else. I hope everyone is having a great night?!
Emmykate - I don't think you're being *****y at all. Some women just don't realise how lucky they are. You should've heard some of the things DH had to say about some of the women he saw while i was in hospital for my D&C. From my room you could see the hospital entrance and he was shocked at the number of pregnant women smoking outside. One of them looked about 6 months (7 at most) and we had seen her in emergency 2 days earlier because her waters broke. Go figure!
Joey - Congratulations! We need you to keep in touch to give us hope around here.
Tam - I hope you get some answers soon.
Louise - I am so sorry for your loss. I think empty sums up how I felt and still feel now. I have bouts of sadness, crying, screaming, anger, frustration but emptiness is the one constant. I had a D&C and it was my first encounter with general anaesthetic. I felt completely disorientated after that. Some part of me kept hoping that it didn't happen. Afterall, I have no memory of it. But then there's the physical emptiness too.
Adele - I've been thinking of you too. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time A wellness retreat sounds perfect - I'm so jealous. Is your DP going too? It sounds like you could do with the time together. I can totally sympathise with feeling angry with your body. I didn't eat for about a week. I'd been forcing myself to eat when I didn't feel like it due to m/s for 4 weeks and I just didn't see the point in forcing myself if I wasn't hungry. It was only me that would suffer now. As long as DP lets you rant and rave and then holds you when you cry.
and to Babyfever, Ruthie, mannie, hannah, and babyonboard!
chappas--Glad to hear DH's scan went well and you got the green light to begin TTC again! :goodluck2:
smi--What a positive, and inspiring epiphany! You go girl!
joey--Here's some to carry over to the PAML thread! Wishing you a healthy and happy pg'cy!
mollycat--Ahhh... touche! I'm still here, just plodding along... thinking this won't be the month for me, despite all the BD'ing at the right times and the "high" conception score--today's temp went in the opposite direction than what I had hoped. Grrr...so I've kinda given up hope already for this cycle. *sigh*
I'm never going to give up on your miracle, going to keep those going! Are there no other options aside from IVF that you can try?
Emmykate--Sorry to hear about your cr@ppy day! Rant away...You are certainly NOT being a cow! It's absolutely ridiculous that some people are given such an amazing gift, yet they tarnish and pollute that gift by drinking and smoking.... while we go to such great lengths to be blessed with such a gift, only to have it ripped away from us! It's cruel and there's absolutely no logic to it whatsoever!
I recommend getting a BBT thermometer and starting up a chart on FF (fertility friend) so you can figure out where you are in your cycle. It's such a great help when you actually know what's going on with your body! Plus, it's something to do that makes you feel like you're doing something proactive and useful--but it's very addicting!
That sux about having to put off your internship... I think the world needs more women docs! Woo hoo--girl power!
issy--Now there's a familiar face that I haven't seen in a while! We could never forget about you, issy! Good luck with your BT's this week! Always good to hear from you!
louise-- I'm sorry that it's under such sad circumstances that we have to meet... Some words that come to mind when I think of how I felt after my m/c in Mar. are depleted, empty, angry, confused, bitter, overwhelmed by grief, and complete devastation. It's honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with in my whole entire life! However, it does get better... it just takes time... and we're all individual, so it takes some of us longer than others. I assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel--and we'll help you get there! Feel free to pull up a seat and join us on this bumpy ride--you've come to the right place for comfort and support!
Tam--:goodluck2: with your FS appt, u/s results, and DH's results!
dellydoo--Good for you, I hope the counselling helps! I'm so jealous of your 5 day wellness retreat--it sounds absolutely lovely!!
Hey Van! Wow, you and issy in the same night! It's like a reuinion! Saying lots of for your BFP!!
babyonboard & fifi!!
Fab 2/3 Chyan's--Special for my girls! Krystie, it's Jen'sday Wednesday! Have you figured out a good one for Thursday yet? I guess if you were having a cr@ppy day, it could be curseday Thursday! (ok, ok, it's the only thing I could think of!) Oh wait, just look how off I am--it's only Bluesday Tuesday for me--see not chatting with you girls is completely throwing me off base! Babydust, stickyvibes, and super big hugs for you both! *kiss* *kiss*
Last edited by jen805; September 17th, 2008 at 12:10 AM.
: stupid typos!
Hannah- I was wondering if the whole lining thing was a bad thing or a good thing. Thanks for the info. I'm glad to hear that things seem in order. I'm sorry they didn't give you an answer on your loss. Did they happen to run any Blood work to check for, blood clotting & what not?, Or did they just say well its your first pregnanancy we will see what happens next time? . Sorry once again for your loss. I hope you guys get a BFP very soon with a sticky bean.
Mannie-Yeah, I have heard other woman getting pregnant with a relaxed cycle. But, As for me I coudln't do it because the fact I'm already addicted to it, And since I have & you have had miscarriges its good to know when you Oed so you know when to go in for your progesterone checks and what not. I did concieve my girls when I wasn't thinking about it alot & I wasn't as obsessed with getting pregnant with them. Its like when your not trying to get pregnant you do. And when you do try you dont get pregnant. But, I found out this year that you can get pregnant when you try as well:-). I would keep charting and stuf if I was you.
EmmyKate-I cannot believe someone would do that WOW! People are so wrong!... I'm sorry that DH is away. Mine is too :-( he works out of state for a week at a time and home the next week etc. Have you tried ovulation Tests? I usually start testing at CD 10- I get a positive. Big I relaly hope you get your BFP.
ATM-I'm going in for BT here in a few. And, I have big BBS & Nausia. But cramping. I think its already over. Cramps are always a bad sign for me. But hopefully Im wrong and I get my BFP.
Last edited by Babyfever2007; September 17th, 2008 at 06:15 AM.
Registered User
. Some people...... they really make you wonder???????
on friday
You have all been fantastic, and this roller-coaster ride wouldn't have been any where as easy without you.
sending you lots of
since ovulation should be friday/saturday according to my ov watch. Haven't got any sticky CM yet though.
Healing is so much easier said than done. Take care and stay strong. Your strength and determination are demonstrated just by your countless posts and warm wishes to others. You are an inspiration. Good things will come to those who wait... even if we have experienced the bad things first. At least we do not wait alone.... all of us on this forum are waiting together.
We need you to keep in touch to give us hope around here.
A wellness retreat sounds perfect - I'm so jealous. Is your DP going too? It sounds like you could do with the time together. I can totally sympathise with feeling angry with your body. I didn't eat for about a week. I'd been forcing myself to eat when I didn't feel like it due to m/s for 4 weeks and I just didn't see the point in forcing myself if I wasn't hungry. It was only me that would suffer now. As long as DP lets you rant and rave and then holds you when you cry.
going! Are there no other options aside from IVF that you can try?
I'm sorry that it's under such sad circumstances that we have to meet...
results!
Have you figured out a good one for Thursday yet? I guess if you were having a cr@ppy day, it could be curseday Thursday! (ok, ok, it's the only thing I could think of!) Oh wait,
just look how off I am--it's only Bluesday Tuesday for me--see not chatting with you girls is completely throwing me off base!
Babydust, stickyvibes, and super big hugs for you both! *kiss* *kiss*
Bookmarks