Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ September 2008

[dellydoo]

Ruthie - sweetheart I am so so sorry. You are in my prayers and thoughts. My heart is breaking for you.
Love
Adele

[Where there's hope]

Ruthie
I am so sincerely sorry. I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your heartbreak. I hope you are able to get some sleep and find some inner peace. Please look after yourself as best you can

[nicjay]

Oh Ruthie, I am so very sorry You and your family are in my thoughts

Take care of yourself xx

[plc1805]

Ruthie - my tears are falling unashamedly and freely for you - I am SO SORRY. Please accept my long tight hug cos I just don't know what to say.

KL - what a beautiful experience to be blessed by. i have total faith in that kind of intuition.

....just can't stop thinking of you Ruthie......

[AJC]

Ruthie - I am so deeply sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you

[RuthiePCOS momma]

Smi, Jenushka, Mollycat, Dellydoo, WTH, megsmum & Plc, AJC.. Thank you dear ones... I know you all understand me.. I was not expecting this today... I was daydreaming for weeks to see the baby move and listen to a wonderful heartbeat again... nothing.

When I think my eyes can't cry no more because they are so swollen... I start all over again.. I'm breaking apart.. when I got the news my knees went weak.. I fell to the floor with absolute no strength to stand up.. I curled there like an idiot and just sobbed in the middle of the room with 5 pregnant women there sobbing with me.. it was so painful.. I looked at all those huge bumps with pain, with anger WHY??.. my 3rd baby. I thought I finally was going to have this baby.. I thought all my pain was going to be over.. and again. Again??.. WHY???? I don;t want to sound whiny.. I know most of you if not all have been through this... just that today I didn't expect this.. I was not prepared... I was even thinking of celebrating my birthday this Sunday the 14th.. what F****g birthday... it is the saddest birthday I will ever celebrate.
I don't want to ruin anyone's day.. and again I don't want to be whiny... just that I thought that finally I was going to have my happy ending.. . right now I have to pretend to be strong in front of my son... he saw me break down in the hospital and the whole day for a matter of fact and he senses there is something wrong... he cried with me. I see him sleep and just hug him.. knowing he is my miracle.. and yet I feel horrible because he has no one to play with.. I wanted him to play with his own brother or sister so bad.
I am not going to give up.. I have no idea what the doctor will say after th D&C but I am TTC again.. I want this miracle... and even if I have to wait a month or two I will find a specialist now.. a doctor a perinatologist not only to help me get pregnant but to help me stay pregnant full term and have a live baby. It's like my worst fear came to life today.

I am in debt with you ladies.. you have been more than awesome.. my head is starting to hurt again because I have been crying nonstop.
so tomorrow at 7AM I get a D&C.. what a horrible procedure.. to think they kill babies that way.. and to think my precious angel is being treated that way.
But this time my health is at stake.. doc said I can let nature take its course but if baby has a week dead my body has not even started the process of expelling the baby and it can get ugly.. so I prefer to just "get on wit it" and go ahead and do the D&C. I have no signs that my body knows it is not pregnant anymore.. in fact I still have morning sickness.

Thank you my loved ones.. so much.

Ruthie

[~ Mylitta ~]

Oh Ruthie I am so sorry honey! I am devastated for you. I don't understand the unfairness of life sometimes. Take comfort in your son. Even if he doesn't understand what has happened, he will understand the pain inside his mummy and he will be there to comfort you. It's amazing that children seem to have such a strong instinct for their mother's pain. Please look after yourself. My thoughts are with you, and I will be thinking of you tomorrow morning. Take all the time you need to grieve, but always remember that we are all here for you if you need us.

[Tuesday's Child]

Oh Ruthie...I am so very very sorry.

Hannah

[Babyfever2007]

Ruthie- OMG! I'm soo sorry darling. I cannot beleive that you have been through this so much. I understand the fact you keep asking why does it keep happening and how you could get answers. Like I said I'm really sorry that you lost your darling baby. And, I feel you on your birthday beeing Crappy. Big once again.

Tam-Sorry that your U/s tech was like that I would have been annoyed by it. I hope FS can find some answers for you soon.

babymericals-Hello, And welcome to BB. Sorry to hear about your losses hun. I hope you get your BFP and sticky bean very soon.

ATM- I'm 3 DPO

[larz]

Ruthie - I am speechless and so deeply sorry. My are with you and please don'y feel bad about ruining our days, all of our thoughts are with you during this extremely painful period in time. I must say I am a little scared after hearing your news, I wasn't expecting it. Again I'm so sorry Ruthie

[babymiracles]

Hi everyone
I am new to this site.

First to Ruthie - I am so sorry for what you are going through - my heart is with you. I have just had my first miscarriage and am devastated, so I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. Hang in there sweetie

AFM: I miscarried one week ago today. It was my first miscarriage. I got pregnant through IVF - it was my first cycle. The last 6 weeks have been unbelievably stressful - the whole IVF process was pretty stressful and then I got mild OHSS and have felt very unwell from that. Last thursday had to go to hospital with severe abdo pain - they thought at that stage it was from a very large ovarian cyst which was bleeding - the cyst being a result of the IVF. I ended up bleeding friday and saturday blood tests showed I had miscarried. Since I was still having a lot of pain and scan showed a lot of tissue still in uterus I had D and C on Monday. It was a very emotional day - like Ruthie I just kept thinking about how the procedure is like an abortion - I also had an image of them sucking my baby out of my body and every time that came into my head I couldn't stop crying. Had to wait in a room full of other people having day surgery for about 2.5 hours before procedure - and I was in pain and really upset and that really didn't help matters - the hospital I had D & C really was a terrrible set up - no privacy what so ever. The nurse admitting me was horrible - she asked the following questions with no compassion what so ever - so your here for D& C for a miscarriage? Is it your first miscarriage? Have you any other kids? - at which stage I burst into tears as I do not and am so worried that I might now never have any; Am i married? (i am not but in lovely committed relationship) Do I have a boyfriend? - I mean how is that any of her business and how rude!! Anyway today is the first day the pain has settled down - had hours of pain yesterday (think it is still from the ovarian cyst).
Keen to try again - think I have to wait 4-6 weeks before I can have another IVF cycle - would like to try naturally this month. Does anyone know how long it takes after miscarrying to ovulate normally? - want to test for LH surge but not sure when to start?





Me (37) DP (50)
IVF i cycle - BFP - 5 September 2008 (6 weeks 4 days)

[jen805]

Really short on time right now... just wanted to tell Ruthie... words fail me right now... I'm so very sorry! I wish there were something that I could say or do to take away this pain you're feeling. My m/c was the day before my b-day, hon, so believe me when I say that I truly know the pain that you feel, and my heart is broken for you, Ruthie! I will be thinking of you tomorrow for your procedure... don't forget we're here for you, hun--whatever you need! Wish I could give you a real one, but this will have to do Your little ones are watching over you always...

[Emmykate82]

Oh btw welcome babymiracles... sorry you have to be on this thread but if you need support this is the place to be. I am one of the newer members on this thread (i lost my bub 2 weeks ago- it was my first). I totally understand your humiliation/devastation/frustration with the hospital staff. Sadly, i am a doctor, and i see such disrespectful behaviour daily. If i have learnt anything from my horrible experience, it is that women in our position deserve the utmost respect as we are vulnerable and emotionally distraught.

Please know that each day gets easier. It is not about forgetting... but about accepting.
xx

[ByTheOcean]

Does anyone know how long it takes after miscarrying to ovulate normally? - want to test for LH surge but not sure when to start?

Hi babymiracles...I am sorry you lost your little one...I hope that you are able to take good care of yourself for now. About your question. I didn't have a D&C after my miscarriage, and I ovulated bang on 14 days after the bleeding started, and got my period right on 28 days later. So my cycle returned to normal immediately, but I know that doesn't always happen after a miscarriage - sometimes the cycle takes a few months to get back to normal. It may be different after a D&C as well, I'm not sure.

Suggest using OPKs from around day 10 if your cycle was 28 days before you got pregnant...just to see what happens. Of course that can be expensive, but v reassuring!

All the best to you. Keep taking good care of yourself. I hope that the experience in the hospital begins to fade for you and that you get the little one you're hoping for!

[Mannie2903]

Oh Ruthie Im at work and crying at my desk.....Im going to have to run to the ladies to wipe the tears...Im so very very sorry and pray to the Lord that your miracle will happen, and that tommorrow comes and goes quickly for you.

' The Lord directs the steps of the godly, He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand' Pslams 37:23-24

[Tam83]

Ruthie ohh sweet heart I am so sorry. My DH thinks I am crazy as I am sitting here typing this message in tears. I cant imagine the pain you must be feeling I cant believe what a strong lady you are I read your post about not giving up you inspire me. I hope the D & C is over with quickly tomorrow and you can get on the road to recovery. My are with you and sending you lots hugs.

Baby Miracle Welcome to this forum I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the treatment you received at the hospital. I to had a bad experience both times I had my miscarriage. The first time the nurses stood in a big group (Around 8 of them) outside my room and I could hear them b***ching about me taking up a bed and that I shouldn't be there. The second time I went they didn't even admit me they sent me home after arriving at the ER. Said there was nothing they could do, tehy didn't even do a u/s. I hope your next round of IVF is better and you get your miracle.

As for me I has my u/s today to check everything was okay after the op. Well what can I say other then I am very disappointed they lady conducting the u/s could hardly speak English and didn't understand what a septum was???? Grrrr So I dont know anything not even if i have follicles or if my edometrium lining is thick enough. So I am in Limbo until I see my FS on Wednesday.

[Emmykate82]

Ruthie I am so sorry for your loss. You are not being whiny.. this is why we are all here - to discuss these things, share our joy when we have joy to share, and to vent when things dont go quite the way we plan. I can't imagine what this must be like for you to go through again. God will look after your three little angels. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. xx