TTC After Miscarriage or Loss June 07

[Inanna]

Welcome to TTC after Miscariage or Loss, for those of you who have just joined us. We hope your TTC journey is quick and successful. We are sure you will find much loving support from the other women on this challenging journey.
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Also, don't forget to check out the informative BellyBelly Conception Articles.

You will find the previous thread HERE

[zionsmom]

Bun~ I am sorry you feel kind of icky, but if nothing else its worth it if it reassures you! I just pray that you feel better soon.

Pash~ Don't ever think you wouldn't be welcome, and you don't whine I am glad you update us. I just know you will be fine, try to stay calm and enjoy this pregnancy. To answer your question I DO think I ovulated late, but we will see.

Anyways keep us updated everyone!! I am keeping my fingers crossed for everyone in the waiting periods.

[missbelinda77]

Hi everyone

AF is still with me - unbelievable. I followed Satya's advise and did a HPT but it came back -ve, which is probably just as well, because I'd be stressing with the amount of bleeding if it came back +ve. I spoke with a chiropractor/acupuncture lady today about whether it's worth trying something different, and she is going to nut out a game plan for me, and call me next week to let me know. I figured I have had enough dr's and specialists in the last 4yrs that I might try something alternative.

Pash - I hope you aren't stressing out too much and that your next scan goes well and both your little bubs have strong heartbeats. *hugs*

Gee I hate it when we change threads, I have no idea what else I wanted to say. Sorry!

Hope you are all well, I am off to Wagga for the weekend, and to catch-up with Kerry. yay!

Take care,
Belinda

[pash]

Geez, you lot are all so nice!

I had a really scary day. I thought I was starting to m/c cos I was cramping a lot and started bleeding again, heavier this time After about 1/2 teaspoon in about 15 mins, it stopped. But I had worked myself into such a panic & felt so alone at work. I called DH, who told me to go home, but I didn't want to go home & obsess. I called my GP & was told that I could make an appointment to talk to her tomorrow morning, but I had to call tomorrow morning to make the appointment (Medicare kicks ass over NHS). Then I decided to tell a couple of ladies at work, who were so lovely. They volunteered to take me to the hospital if I needed it & to keep it to themselves. Which is fantastic, cos I don't know the hospitals here, don't have a car and gossip spreads around my office faster than wildfire.

Then I noticed that I hadn't bled for a while & calmed down. I even felt a bit silly when my GP called me back, she was looking at the scans saying everything looked fine, but she hadn't even noticed that they were twins! So, needless to say, I have a lot of faith in her.

But she said I shouldn't BD anymore

At the moment, I am just worried that I should be at 7wks, & bubs are still at 5wks, that I'm still cramping & bleeding from time to time, and it feels like something bad is just around the corner.

I wish I could see into the future (don't we all).

Lee - LOL I wish I could be as positive as you. I didn't exactly have calm day today!
Diane - Thanks, sometimes I read my posts and think Geez I'm so needy! I've got my fingers crossed that both of us had a late ovlulation.
Belinda - Have a lovely weekend!
Bun - IKWYM about labour & such worries being so far away. When I let myself get excited & day dream I try to figure out how anybody would breastfeed 2 bubs at once? How do people push a pram & a shopping trolley? And straight after, I tell myself, well thats something I may never have to worry about. I hope your scan goes well in a couple of weeks. My next scan is on 2nd July, which feels like a lifetime away.

About the m/s, I read that eating small bits regularly helps. Like when you get up in the middle of the night to pee, eat a piece of fruit. In the morning, before you get out of bed, have something small, like a bikky. As in, fill in the gaps between meals with lots of little healthy snacks. No idea whether it actually helps though.

Salt - I'm so sorry to hear your dad's been so sick I hope their operations go smoothly and that they both recover well. It will be hard on you too, taking care of 2 sick parents & worrying about both of them. Have you got brothers & sisters? Next to your family, work seems so unimportant.

Its great that your temps are high. You O-ed earlier than you expected this time right? You never know what could happen. I've got my fingers crossed for you hun.

Wishing lots of amusing distractions to those in the TWW, and wishing BFPs to everyone TTC.

PS Has anyone had a real BFP at 10 DPO? Is that too early to be able to get a BFP?

[kiwigirl]

zionsmom - Hi!! I had been thinking about how you were doing as well! I really hope I didn't offend you with my silly sweeping statement about Americans!!! My last cycle was shorter by 2 days but that sometimes happened for me normally. I read somewhere online that after giving birth or a m/c your cycles can be altered for a while or even permanently.

pash!! I'm so excited for you having twins! Hang in there, hoping the weeks fly by and you'll be back seeing their heartbeats in no time. July 2 isn't too many days to count down to. In fact it's even less than the TWW

Bun - I'm excited for you and your holiday! I've been planning ideas in my head for a trip in November overseas to the US but I'm reluctant to make firm plans in case I get PG since I'm not sure how travel insurance would cover me there.

salt: Hope the kidney transplant goes well - I know someone who donated one to a friend a few years back and it changed both of their lives for the better. That's an amazing gift your mum is giving. I totally hear you about not giving two hoots about work.. my brain hasn't been the same ever since I got my BFP in Jan and then the m/c in April.

Hi to everyone else I missed - I love reading all your posts, you encourage me so much with your courage.

I'm CD7 today. We're going away for three days to the place we went for our honeymoon. Needed a break from the city and fingers crossed for a BFP

[satya]

Hi everyone,

Kiwigirl - have a nice break.

Pash - congrats on twins.... how exciting.... I can't remember your history.... did you have any treatment or are they naturally conceived twins? You will have a very nervous wait for the two weeks until the scan but I'm sure everything will be fine. The bleed must have been scary but it seems that some pg women do that for no particular reason so everything will probably be OK. Yes I will be having a general for the lap - as far as I know it's always done with one. It took me a few days to recover after the last one (problems with stitches - nasty pain when clothes touched them) so I'm trying to work out how long I will need off work this time... but I'm hoping this time round it will be trouble free.

Bun - I have a feeling that your bub is going to be a sticky one so don't worry about a m/c ruining your holiday.... it's not going to happen.

Lee - How many HPT's have you been through so far?

miss belinda - I think its a great idea to try alternative therapies. Modern medicine in the TTC field sometimes just does work for some women but alternative things can do the trick. I would probably give it a go myself but I'm running out of time. I tried herbal stuff from Ruth Sharkey about 10 years ago but it didn't work for me.

Salt - It's realy hard when you have a parent who's health is going downhill, and it adds a lot of pressure to the already incredibly stressful TTC process. Both my parents have cancer & my dad has other health problems as well so I understand the stress very well. I also find my work suffers when I get into a real worrying stage. These stages seem to come and go - it's a bit like how stressed you get about TTC - sometimes it is mind consuming & you get no work done at all and then you zoom through work when you somehow get it out of your head. I find it's just best to try to keep busy. I hope everything goes well with both your mum and your dad next week.

Hi to anyone I've missed.

Yesterday was a hard day. A work colleage went on her maternity leave yesterday. Just before she left she stood near my desk and went on and on to me about what a wonderful experience it is to be pregnant and to have a child (she already has one), how incredible it is to feel it growing & kick etc etc etc. She knows I had the m/c recently. I just don't understand how she could be so insensitive. She's never had a m/c nor has she had any problems in her pregnancies - all smooth sailing.... well so far.... she still has the birth to go.

I'd already had to endure the going to buy her a present and the baby shower we had at lunch time for her.... and the comment from a work colleage something like..... come on Satya you need to get pregnant so you can get all these presents. She also knew about the m/c and how I am seeing a specialist, and how I have to have the op and still she says something like this. She also knows I tried unsuccessfully for many years with my ex.... how could she be so insensitive. Twice yesterday I wanted to burst into tears.... I don't know how I didn't but somehow I kept strong and it just didn't happen.

I should be 18 weeks by now - almost half way there.... instead I'm in this damn thread seemingly never to get out of here. Sorry, venting now. All the BFPs in here are encouraging but each one that happens just reminds me that I'm still not pg.... and probably not likely to be for a while yet. Sorry just had to get that out. Now I've got that out of the way I am feeling positive again. Off to work now.

[kiwigirl]

Thought you might like to know about a story in the news here...

A New Zealand couple have been told by the Department of Internal Affairs they can't call their boy "4Real". They said they decided on the name after seeing an ultrasound scan and realising the baby was "for real". They said they chose the spelling "4Real" because it was the clearest and simplest way of writing it down.

[Bun]

Morning girls,

Kiwigirl - that story about the name is funny! Yeah, it's really hard planning holidays with pg and m/c on your mind. We only did this because my FS said it would be fine and we only booked it a couple of months ago, so knew that if I was pg, it would be too early for there to be any problem with flying. It's hard, because you need to live and have things to look forward to, but it is really hard to plan. We just decided that we had put things off long enough, this really good opportunity came up and we could afford it, so we decided to just go for it and hope for the best. Of course now I am really worried about it, but with a bit of luck all will go well with this bub and we will have a great holiday (although with some tiredness and m/s!). Nov is probably fine to organise a holiday for. It is only in the last trimester that flying is difficult, and only I think the last 4 weeks when airlines don't like you to fly. I say just go for it! Oh, and travel insurance will cover you for up to 20 weeks, after that it gets a bit difficult.

satya - thanks! I am so glad you think this one will be a sticky one! I am feeling more confident each day (but at the same time trying to take a step back so I don't get too attached). My m/s is still shocking so something hopefully is working as it should. You poor thing - both your parents with cancer. That must be so stressful for you. I am dreading anything happening to my parents, and dad is starting to age now, so I worry about them. I don't know how your colleagues can be so insensitive when they know what you have been through. I think some people just don't get it. I have had the same thing with some people ( mainly MIL) and I don't think they realise how hurtful they are being. They bloody should though!

pash - you poor thing, that must have been so so scary. I hope all is well and you make sure you take it easy for the next few days. Can you ask for an earlier scan? That is so long to wait with all the worry you must be feeling. I am thinking of you sweetie.

Salt - what a lovely thing for your mum to do for your dad, but it must be so stressful for you having them both having surgery at the same time. I am not surprised you are not concentrated on work right now - you have way too much going on. I have not been focussed on work for months!

At DH's training last night, a guy there announced his wife's pregnancy. She is 6 weeks (so the same as me). And DH says to him 'You do know how high the chance of m/c is at this early stage, don't you?'. How embarrassing! I can't believe he actually said that! That's the kind of thing I think everytime someone announces a pg really early, but you never say it!! I don't know if many people do realise just how common m/c is. Maybe it's best for them to know.

I hate when we change threads too, I have forgotten everything else I wanted to say!

[Sequoia]

I’m back!!

Girls, I have great news:

AF ARRIVED TODAY!!

I don't mean to yell but I am thrilled! I really struggled this week so I feel we are now back on track.

A couple that got married a week after us announced their pregnancy during the week, she is due 3 weeks before I would have been due so I felt very jealous and resentful. I feel so much better now that AF has come. I'm out of limbo land.

Start BT's tomorrow for O tracking and having a HyCoSy next week on Day 6 or 7.

Woo hoo!



ETA - oh I forgot to say that it was a perfect 32 day cycle since I MC'd so it looks like it hasn't stuffed my cycles up. DH is gonna be sick of the sight of me up until CD17 when I O!

[nicjay]

Hi everyone,

Salt - I hope everything goes well for your parents - I'm sure they will both sail through it with no problems! I saw quite a few done in my former working life (I used to work in a pathology lab at a major hospital) and they all went well with no big dramas. What a wonderful thing your Mum is doing for your Dad. I'm sure the temp drop doesn't mean anything - don't know about the baby dream though! LOL Best of luck!

las - I am so so sorry It just isn't fair is it? I will keep hoping for you that things turn around and that they are wrong about the pregnancy not being viable.

Shoegal - yay for AF turning up! All the best for this month.

Belinda - what a bummer about AF, wish she'd go away for you! Have a nice weekend away and maybe leave her behind when you come back LOL

Bun - how embarassing!LOL But I think its a bit strange telling people at 6 weeks too - each to their own I guess. We didn't tell family until I was 8 weeks with Megan, and I didn't tell work until I was 13 weeks and had had my first scan. But I have to admit (and I hang my head in shame about it a bit now) but it never dawned on me when I was pg with her to think about what could go wrong. I guess a lot of people don't think about it until it happens to them

satya - I'm so sorry about your work colleagues how insensitive! I hate to say it but I would have given them both a piece of my mind What stupid, stupid people they must be!!

kiwigirl - have a nice time away! I'd love to go back to where we went for our honeymoon - the Rocky Mountains in Canada - I can dream! LOL

pash - I'm so sorry you are going through such a tough time I'll be keeping everything crossed for you that your next scan shows 2 little growing bubs

I hope I haven't missed anyone else - I always get a bit confused when the new thread starts LOL - but I hope you are all well!

Well, I'm feeling a bit better about things than I was the day I found out my BT results, it has taken a bit to process it all though and work out what I want to do. I'm still waiting for a letter from the ob with the script and treatment protocol for the Clomid, so hopefully that will turn up early next week and I'll know a bit more about how they are going to monitor me. I'm also pretty bummed (as you can imagine) about missing out this cycle, so I am thinking that maybe we might have one last ditch go at conceiving ourselves this month - I don't know.....but I've got a few more days to make up my mind anyway I guess. The weird thing is that my charts do indicate that I am ovulating, its just that my progesterone levels don't. But maybe they might turn out to be better this cycle - who knows? I'm just really confused about it all and not at all sure that I am not ovulating KWIM? Maybe its more my short LP that is the problem??

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for your words of encouragement after my last post, it was really good to be able to tell someone else besides my DH!

[*las*]

Hi all,

I come with a mixed bag.

I am pregnant, but a viable IVF pregnancy needs to be above 100, and my levels are a fair bit under. They will repeat the blood test next Tuesday, but have told me they don't expect it to become a viable pregnancy and I should naturally miscarry over the next week.

Have to say I'm totally gutted, did not ever think this would happen 2 cycles in a row.

[pash]

MegsMum - I'm glad you're feeling better about the news. It can't hurt to give this cycle a whirl, can it? And you never know what might happen.
Satya- I can't believe how insensitive the people around you have been. Even if they've not been through what you have, they should be able to manage some sympathy. Sometimes pg ppl or ppl with kids often just ramble on & on about how wonderful their kids/experiences are, without stopping to think about how hurtful their words might be. I am so sorry for everything you've been through. But I have faith in your new doc & his plan of action. Not that a lap is exactly a walk in the park. I hope this one heals better than the last.
My history is that my last pg was a blighted ovum that stopped growing at 6wks. Had my first scan at 9wks, where there was no heartbeat. Because my body showed no signs of letting go of the placenta, I was scheduled for a D&C. My HCG was high, I'd had no cramping or spotting & naively assumed everything was fine. This time we conceived twins naturally, even though there are no twins in my family. So I'm a bit worried that my body is running out of eggs & is spitting them out double time. But if these twins survive & are healthy, I don't give 2 hoots about the rest of my eggs.
Rachael - LOL were the mum & dad 14? They could always go with Sik Mate or Choice Bro. Your 2nd honeymoon sounds lovely. You've had a rough time recently and really deserve a good break.
Bun - Wouldn't it be great to have that innocence back? Your DH is obviously a straight talker LOL I'm glad you're feeling more confident with each day. I'm sure everything will go well, you'll get good news at the ob & have a fantastic hol.
ShoeGal - Great to see you back! Its also good that your cycle has come back as regular. Good luck for a BFP this cycle.
Las - I am so sorry. It must be sooooo hard to know & then wait. Do you still have a bit of hope inside? I have hope for you.
Salt - I just read a novel about interpreting dreams (Queen of Dreams). I wonder what they mean too. I hope your dreams come true. Got everything crossed for you hon.

I had another scary day. I bled again, this time it was redder, and there were membranes in it (like the skin inside the shell of a hard boiled egg, only dark red). I just calmly shut down my PC, told people I was sick & going home, then went home. The weird thing was, that I was sure I was m/cing but I was so calm. Like I'm all cried out. I haven't bled since, but I feel like I am having a m/c in slow-mo. A little bit every day.

On the other hand, at 7wks, I am soooo uncomfortable. I don't fit into any of my jeans or trousers anymore. And it feels like there's no room for food in my tummy. But that was this morning. Now I'm at home in drawstring tracky-daks & feel ok. I'm not complaining, I'd rather feel uncomfortable but reassured that my pg might be going ok.

Because I had a D&C instead of m/c-ing naturally last time, I don't know what to expect at all. Do you mind if I ask what happened for you girls? What colour, cramping, does it all happen in a rush? I don't mean to be insensitive. I just want to be able to identify whether I have m/c-ed or am m/c-ing.

[satya]

Hi everyone,

Salt - I had the dreams last cycle too but I wasn't pregnant.... I was so hopeful when I got them.

Bun - Did you try my apple suggestion for your morning sickness?

Shoegal - Yay for AF arriving.

Las - I'm sorry that things are not looking good, but until you get your next BT you will not know for sure. Sending you heaps of .

Megsmum - I reckon you should give it a go yourselves for this cyle. I could have a 3 month wait for my lap & my gyno told me to keep trying in the meantime as we could still be successful.

Pash - Maybe you've lost one of the twins. Hopefully not, but unfortunately it is very common in twin pregnancies. My m/c was very light - less than a period - no cramps, no pain except some slight lower back pain & I had stuff come out that sounds very like the membranes you have described. Of course, it could just be bleeding that some women get in pregnancy so try not to get upset until you know exactly what's going on.


I got some paperwork from the hospital network that says I am a category two patient for my op. I'm getting a D&C as well as the other stuff, so if nothing else it should clean everything out & leave a nice clear area for future implantation. It says that it should happen within 90 days which isn't too bad & that I will get 2 to 3 weeks notice. I was worried about the notice due to work, but that should be fine. It says Monash Reproductive Moorabbin on the paperwork but that the op could be moved to a number of other hospitals in the area such as Dandenong, Cranbourne or Berwick, which I'd actually prefer as they are all closer to home and my DF's work if he has to work that day. It's good to know that things are now in action.

Had hardly any sleep last night so I'm really tired. I had really bad shoulder pain yesterday and last night that panadeine forte could not stop. All I can say is thank god it's not the second half of my cycle as I would have been debating with myself if I could take the tablets & also I would have been stressing thinking it could be an early ectopic..... must admit it did cross my mind seeing I had a very light AF this cycle and my boobs have felt weird since then & I've had some light headed moments..... but all seems fine this morning and I have had pain in this shoulder before (in the second half of my cylcle I've noticed), just not as bad as it was.... probably just developing a bit of a dodgy shoulder.

CD14 for me so I'm hoping to O today, but I've had no O pain so don't know if it's going to happen. Better go now, its swimming lesson time with miss 4.

[cheekyfrog]

Saturday morning, shiver shiver. Here's my wacky chart - maybe FF should have a section for a poll for when AF might arrive http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/13b7df

Must rush - I'm meeting Belinda today in Wagga!

[nikilove]

Hi Princess Confused as soon as AF returns I hope you get an sending lots of your way.


Niki 27 DH 31

:angel2:03-1-07 twenty weeks

# 3 for 3 months

[Sequoia]

Linz

It's hard to say. My GP and FS both told me to wait one full cycle before TTC again. I really wanted to but waited.

Other girls just go for it with their dr's permission. I believe Maz conceived immediately after her MC.

Have you asked your GP's opinion?

[satya]

Princess yes, you have posted here before. You can probably try again as soon as you feel ready. The only reason some doctors tell you to wait a cycle is it can make it difficult to date a pregnancy after a miscarriage as your cycle can be different after one. Sometimes doctors will tell you to wait if you have other underlying health problems that could cause issues if you conceive again, but in most cases you don't need to wait, particularly if the miscarriage was an early one.

One thing though, if you do try straight away as I did, make sure you get a blood test first to make sure your HCG is back to zero. You don't want to go through what I've seen happen a few times on BB where ladies thought they were pregnant again but their HCG levels had not dropped back down yet so it was a disappointing false alarm for them. The time that this takes to happen can vary heaps by a few days to several weeks depending on how far along you were and how high your levels were prior to the m/c. I think that's also part of the reason doctors often ask you to wait for your next AF as you will not ordinarily get another one until after you ovulate and you will only ovulate once your HCG levels have dropped.... that's why some women take lots of weeks after a m/c to get their AF. My AF came 29 days after my last m/c but I was only 5w4d so my HCG was back to zero within a few days so I went straight back to normal. I hope this info helps you.

[zionsmom]

Kiwigirl~ No you didn't offend me at all!! I know that a mc can change cycles I just thought it was weird that my AF still hasn't come yet. I think I ovulated late and it should be here within the next few days. Should we have a waiting for a 2nd AF club???