TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 08

[tempus moriendi]

SamiH: I'm so sorry for your loss and I'll be keeping you in my prayers. I know what you're talking about. I had two uneventful pregs, one MC, another uneventful preg, then three MC's in a row. You always think the first one is a fluke. And I"m older (40) so I can relate to that, too. This is a great website for people who are going through this trauma, so welcome.

nicksterUK: hope you're feeling better

AJC: good luck!

1180: you've got a good attitude--keep it up!

[nicksterUK]

Thanks for your wonderful support I just seemed to have a day when everything went wrong, everyone wound me up...etc. I asked DH to come for a walk in the end, and on the way through the village we decide to stop at the pub for a drink. It was lovely, and although we only stayed 1/2 hour it was just what we needed. BD last night so DH very happy!

Went back to work properly today- my goodness I hit the ground running. I feel tired, but relieved that it wasn't as difficult going back as I thought it might be. (I had butterflies this morning!). I expect that was partly why I was so tense yeaterday
Saw the lady who i thought was pregnant (isn't it funny how we can spot them a mile off- like a 6th sense) and I was right. I just asked her outrigt and she said 'yes, 13 weeks' and then explained that she felt really terrible for me- so I gave her a big hug and said how thrilled I am for her- which I genuinely am, so I feel quite proud of myself too. She's EDD the week after I would be, in July. It will be strange to see her belly growing. I hope it's me soon- well all of us actually, would love for us all to be in PAML together xx
Thanks again, I just couldn't think straight yesterday but feel pretty good today. Hope you're all well, and busy being jiggy. Still got fingers crossed for those TWW!

[Issa]

Hello,

This is my first time to actually write rather than just read. Hopefully in the next little while 'trying to concieve' will be the order of the day with us. I'm curious as to whether there are any women who experienced a missed miscarriage and then chose to wait for your body to complete it naturally ie NO surgical or medical intervention? And how long did you wait?

I have been waiting since October 31st during a routine scan at 9 weeks that showed my baby died at 6 and half weeks. I have had a termination and a emergency cesarian previously and did not feel right about a d&c. Since then I have had bleeding here and there, fortnightly ultrasounds, hospital staff who have given me the option of medical evacuation ie prostaglandin pessaries. The most recent ultrasound showed the sac has now collapsed and the whole thing has reduced in size. It is almost small enough for the hospital to say not to come back and get on with life but not quite.

So I'm curious are then any women out there who have experienced something similar and how long has it taken? I'm a bit tired of all this but I was determined to let my body deal with this in its own time. I was fortunate enough, having regular ultrasounds to see that my body actually re-absorbed the feotus - unusual but it does happen so that has been a great comfort to know my little one will always be part of me.

Issa

[Canary]

Hi Issa and welcome.
I am sorry to hear of your loss, I hope that you find some help and support with these lovely ladies here at BB . My missed m/c was picked up when I should have been 10 weeks, but I had m/c at 7. I wanted to opt for the natural management, but bled so heavily that they decided to give me the medical treatment. i only had the tablet, though, not the whole of the treatment. I am still waiting for AF, but have had bleeding on and off ever since (it all started on 31.12.07). Sorry that doesnt answer your question completely, HTH.

Nickster, you are so brave facing work and the pregnant lady. I found my first day back at work a bit tough, but then things were OK.

Everyone else, hope you are all OK. Fingers crossed for the TWWs.
c

[smilanatu]

Good afternoon ladies...I am new to the site. We had a "chemical" pregnancy in March 2007. We recently m/c again and had D&C 12/19/2007, we were 8 weeks pregnant. I only bled lightly maybe 2 days after...nothing since. I had a follow-up appointment lastweek and was given the green light to resume TTC. We are hoping for quick results as we will both be 37 this year. I have 2 beautiful children a son 14 and a daughter 11; he has a 4 year old daughter. We are hoping to make a baby togerther and expand the family.

[SamiH]

Hi everyone and thanks for your warm welcomes !

Gee nickster I too hope I find a nice BFP ? I am 8dpo today and am getting impatient already, I hate the tww. AJC, do you think waiting till o is worse than the tww??

Canary I really like the sound of third time lucky, after all, we all deserve it.!

Going back to work after the Christmas/newyear break has revealed more bellies at my work (about 9 last count) and I get cranky when I see some of the younger ones (cos I am soooo old LOL) outside with big bellies smoking and laughing, I try not to look anymore. I can't see inside their minds, but of course I jump to the conclusion that they take it for granted everything will be fine! Selfish, I know.

We have only started TTC again this month,but I am armed with lots of information for next cycle, it is exactly like learning a new subject Angel Babies, I just wish I was as interested in the topic back in school!!! (I have never temp charted but like the idea so am ready), but fingers crossed I won't need it, very wishful thinking.

My best friend also told me she was 4 weeks preggers a couple of days before we lost bubs by missed m/c in October, so that is hard at times cos we spend so much time together. Sometimes I just can't ask how she is but our friendship is strong enough that we have talked about it and she understands if I am quiet or don't ask any questions like how her check-up went etc. We were so excited at the thought of our bubs being 8 weeks apart. I still can't let go of the why her and not me spiel that goes through your head.

Anyway, my first rambling, not too bad hey!

Would love to hear some good news BFPs in here over the next couple of months.

Off to the clean the critters after brekky ....

[Trac73]

Hi Everyone
Been away for a little while feeling queit down at the moment as really want to have ababy but on the other hand really scared may m/c again. I just don't think i can go through all that again.
Welcome Sami and may this year be the year for you and you family as well as everyone else here.
I was so sick with my daughter right through until 21 weeks. With the 1st mc i was not sick, 2nd m/c not sick but the last one i had all the same symptoms as with my daughter plus i was feeling great about it.
Does anyone know if there are test to find out if you cannot carry a certain gender?

I am so sorry if i sound really down but i am at the moment and i know i m/c in Nov but i think it is jsut hitting me emotionally and just cannot get on top of it. Sorry again
Trac

[Katiegirl]

Trac, I am sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. I am not sure if there is a test for gender so can't help you out there. I just wanted to send you a hug and I hope you are doing okay. You don't have to apologise about the post, we all have tough times and that if why we are here. You will only find support and understanding on this thread.

Hi to everyone else, especially all the new people. Not much to report here. Canary you asked if I had AF since the mc - hard to say for certain (as I have had spotting on and off since the D&C) but I do believe I might have AFed a week and a half ago. I also think I had O a couple of days ago, so we made the executive decision to start TTCing. My naturopath wanted me to wait until the end of the month, but I decided it felt right to start now. My sister who has had 2 late MCs (but also 4 healthy children - so there is hope), gave me the advice to start TTCing when we felt right, as she believes that if we waited to long we would become scared and this would affect our chances. I thought a lot about what she said, and decided she was right. So it felt right to start, so we have! Fingers crossed we have some luck soon.

I hope we start getting some BFPs in here, as that will bring some much wanted hope.

[Baby Angels]

Nickster.............. You go girlfriend, If you are hugging your pregnant co workers then you are doing so much better than I am. I actually served a couple of customers over the weekend.... The thing is about customers is that if they are in a bad mood they will put it all onto you, I find myself standing there thinking............Right buddy, you got stuck behind someone in traffic so your in a bad mood and your taking it out on me..... Here you go, here are my shoes, take a walk around the block in them and then come back and complain about your p1ssy little issue. Just dont forget Nickster........ we are all here for each other.

Issa..............I was also determined to let my body deal with everything in its own time. For me it twofold, firstly that way they are still with me, I still spoke to them each day it was as if nothing was going to happen, I treated them the same. Secondly because of the maybe some miracle was about to happen to prove the FS wrong. I still had all the symptoms, my bubby belly was getting bigger and bigger..... So just maybe he was wrong...... he wasnt and they both arrived on the 31st and the 1st (dec/jan)..... So I completely understand wanting to wait, its very difficult emotionally but I dont regret my decision.

Sami......Ohhhh the pregnant smoking younger ones...... ohhh the patients you must have. Especially in my direct thing I got going on at the moment.... the whole say what I think and if they dont like it to bad.... I can not see myself being able to walk past them and say something, mind you if they have got the whole attitude thing going on then they will probably snap back and say it was because I was so old.......As for the new subject... I m ready for school. My little package turned up yesterday. A "sergipack, Ovulation Digital Thermometer" as it say s on the pack..."Also known as a basal or fertility thermometer".... apparently its water proof.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Then I have 2 packs of "lullaby Conceptions Ovulation Prediction Kits"....pee sticks and then "Taking Charge of Your Fertility Software"....Ohhh version 2....Apparently it does all weird and wonderful things. So right now I m like every other "kid" waiting to be able to start school. I have around 1 to 2 weeks to AF arrives or a BFP arrives (one week for the BFP) and if its AF then SCHOOLS ON

Trac..... absolutely nothing to be sorry about. We all go through it and we are all here for each other when we go through it. I really can just be doing something quite normal and wham..... down I come, crashing. I believe the trick is to allow yourself that time, and then get back up again. Grieving is not something that follows a calander.

WOW, I think I did the multi post thing ok, Mind you it is probably a novel the way I go on sometimes.

Everyone else, My thoughts are with you all, Major sticky vibes for all TWW, fingers crossed for those post OV/BD. Ohhhh and there is also another programe on SBS tonight...7.30 or 8.30 I think. One of the last ones in the series was egg donations.

[Anthonysmom]

hi ladies

first off Sami, Smilantu, and Issa - I am so sorry for your losses. you will find so much support here. i don't know what i would have done withour BB. also this thread has the best cake, hands down.

sami - the TWW is awful. i have about 1 week to go, feels like i have been waiting for something forever.

trac - i am sorry that you are down right now. I lost in Nov too and it is such a roller coaster ride.

[Baby Angels]

Speaking of cake...... whos doing the baking today.....chocolate please

[SamiH]

Anthonysmum, I will hope and pray that we both have BFPs by the end of the month, would be a nice way to start the year. Mind you, I will probably then hibernate for 3 months and check my undies everytime I go to the bathroom (TMI I know hahaha). One step at time Sam .....

Angelbabies I have been watching that series on SBS - 7.30 tonight - last week it was about egg donation and pros and cons, and this week about same gender parents and their journies to become parents.

I am waiting for my thermometer to turn up today! I sooo hope I won't have to use it ...

Trac, we all feel for you and I know I will probably always go through sad times losing bub/s, especially after seeing bundle on u/s 1 week earlier and everything was flickering and glowing in all the right places, and then the next time - nothing. So take the time you need to, it is ok to still feel sad. The pain doesn't go away does it - just numbs a bit

[ll80]

I need coffee cake, I am so exhausted I need the benefits of both coffee and cake all rolled into one.

Well I have been a bit bad and worked so hard with moving and cleaning I have pushed myself to exhaustion. I should know better, after all the blood loss of the m/c I am very low in iron/heamoglobin so I should be pacing myself.
Yesterday my body packed up and said no more, I almost fainted had to go lie down for a while, I've had extreme low iron before so I know what it feels like. I could and have in the past fell asleep standing up.
So I am taking it easier today, as much as I can movers are coming tomorrow so I need to do somethings but DP has been wonderful and won't let me do anymore than I have to.

Once I get back to Melbourne and my GP i am going to get the works of tests so that I can get back to my normal self again and start TTC properly.
Just before I go pg a blood test showed that my thyroid was under active and I had low cholesterol, apparently it's just as bad to have low cholesterol than high.

Hi to everyone, hope your days are going well.
Can't think enough to do personals, might head off for a nap before I need to clean a bit, MIL is coming to stay with us today...YIKES! hehehe

...Laura

[AJC]

Yeah I agree Sami, there are kind of two x two week waits aren't there. Hmmm both very frustrating times. Am in my first of the two week waits now - waiting for O to pounce on DH. he he he

[Baby Angels]

Sending you coffee and cake, but smacking your hand first for overdoing it (eventhough I am the absolute worst at it) As for MIL visiting...... good news is your moving to another state......LOL

[nicksterUK]

Welcome Issa and Smilanatu (great tag!) Sorry for you losses, hope your stay here is short, although it may be bitter-sweet.

Laura- you are definitely overdoing it! make sure DP and MIL wait on you hand and foot. Get your feet up and enjoy some cake! I had lovely, moist carrot cake at wok today, with lemony buttercream icing mmmmm.... Good luck with the housemove, have fun 'Christening' your new bedroom (and bathroom and kitchen and...ooh saucy! sorry!)

Trac- hope you're okay, believe me we know how you feel

Hi Canary- how's things? I'm absolutely knackered- was a crazy day at work. DH has booked BD tonight- so i'd better recharge my batteries so I can get jiggy later!

Sami and Anthonysmum- got fingers crossed for you x

Angel babies- I 'think' the same thoughts as you- but bite my tongue REALLY hard...although some do slip out haha! oh well, life's too short eh?

Sending babydust and cake to you all xx

[bettyboop]

Wow i have been so busy , now i have so much to read to catch up on you all. hi to the new ladies, sorry to hear of your loss.
yesterday was my birthday and i had a great day with my friends, 2 of them had made me cake , yum , now i fell so fat today, my day was good with my friends , but my DH didnot make much effort i am so annoyed, why are men like this.i am now 15dpo temp took a drop , hoping AF will , i really think something is wrong, if it doesnt arrive, and my chart is doing what it shoud , not good. sorry to go on.

[smilanatu]

Thanks for the welcomes...it is so good to have found a nice friendly spot...with others who feel exactly as I do with most of the same questions and thoughts!

nickster...believe it or not my tag is my name...LOL s. milan...I added the atu for fun