Everyone - I can't thank you enough for your incredibly kind words of support. Although I am shedding a tear, each time I read a post it is helping me to feel it. I had felt myself shutting off a little bit, but I know the only way to heal is to go through all the pain first. Very daunting but necessary.
This time I think I'll be looking for a bit of extra help to get through it - will be starting counselling as soon as I can. I think I used up all my reserves of strength getting through my last m/c.
I think I'll also be looking for some answers. I am saddened that according to the medical profession I must go through this again in order to be classed as "recurrent" and get access to tests and clinics. At my strong insistence I have got a referral from my ob for the recurrent m/c blood tests, but she downright refuses any tests to check out my uterus and tubes etc saying that I have one healthy child so therefore everything there must be all right (?). She also said next time I am pg there is "no point" doing reg scans around the time of my losses for peace of mind as it "won't help". No, maybe not to save the baby if anything is wrong but it will stop me going insane and if something happens to the baby I'll know sooner...I'll be seeing my wonderful GP this week to talk to her about a referral to the most sympathetic gyno she can think of ... maybe even fs? Next time round I want to know I've looked into everything I could. Also maybe different ob next time too - she is wonderful when you're pg but kind of switches off when you lose a pg.
Jen - as for waiting 4 months - that was according to ob advice again. I think I'll wait to see what the testing after the d&c says and decide where to go from there. After the last m/c I wanted to be pg again NOW, but this time not so sure. But then, not sure if I gave myself lots of time and it happened again how I would feel...
D&C now scheduled for Tuesday - am holding this baby close until then and giving it every bit of love I have. I wish it could know just how sorry I am...
You are the best bunch of girls ever, and thanks again. I have felt every single one of those hugs ... here's a big one back. I will continue to lurk, (as this is my second home!), and maybe soon I can join you again when I feel brave enough to get back on the rollercoaster...
jenushka- huge hun. you are such a strong and amazing woman and you will get through this...counselling sounds like a great idea to help though. it saddens me too to think you are supposed to go through this yet again to get any tests/answers- stay strong and keep pushing for what you know you deserve.
please stick around and let us know how you are, you don't have to be ttc yet to be part of this family, you are one of us so no need to lurk, just jump in and vent and take advantage of all of the support we want to offer.
Jenuskka.. I'm extremely ****ed off that the doc told you you have to have one more for a simple freaking tests. ( I have no doubt in my minnd you had the same thing both she and I did.. low progesterone. Easy freaking fix. Stupid doc wants you to m/c again so he can run the simpletest of test..I'm sorry but I'm not having happy thoughts for that doc!!
Let me tell you..this is quoted from a friend of mine..please read:
"I've had 2 miscarriages in the past and this last time when I found out, I went right to this new doc (midwife) that I'd heard great things about and as soon as she'd heard I had had 2 previous miscarriages, she ran 2 tests: one to check my HCG level (which was normal) and another test to check my progesterone level (which was incredibly low). She put me on progesterone suppositories that I had to take for about 2 months, but... I'm still pregnant. : ) If it weren't for her, I KNOW I wouldn't be pregnant right now. The last doctor I had went to said he wouldn't run tests for miscarriages until I had had 3 of them. I couldn't BELIEVE it! He expected me to go through losing another baby before he saw fit to run a SIMPLE test. Anyways, I wish the best of luck to you and your baby. Take care.
** **I erased her name*** "
Get another doc... My doc strongly told me that as soon as I became pregnant again I need the darn prog. Shot.. I really don't have a doubt in my mind you had the same thing. If that doc tells you he needs you to m/c again in order for him to run a simple test PLEASE RIP HIS EYES OUT FOR ME!!!!
I am praying for you.. I know your pain. And My biggest worry as well as it will always be your too is this painful thing happening agin!!! IT WON'T!! MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T!!
Doctors today...**I have my own stories..not too god either!!!!!***
Sending you my deepest thoughts and prayers. You will be blessed ..You will heal.. but never forget. Those babies are painful to remember but too precious to forget!!
My bubs were tiny but the hole they left in my heart is larger than life!
jenushka - I just can't stop thinking about you - i hope ur ok (well, i know ur not). It just highlights how unfair m/c is and that no one should have to experience it. Oh sweet, pls look after urself - feel what u need to feel this loss but do u, ur bod and ur family a favour and seek another opinion re ur tests - when ur ready. Big hugs sweetheart.
smilanatu & pbstar - my thoughts and prayers are also with you both at this sad time
That is really sad that you Ob is not interested in helping you have another baby. After my m/c my Ob was so supportive in helping us achieve our goal to have a baby. After my second m/c my Ob actually offered to do some tests with DH & I. I know there are alot more he could have done but he still did quite a number with us. I did lots of BT's and also a into hossie for the day for a hysteroscopy.
Although the tests didn't give us an actual answer for my previous m/c (although he did find & remove uterine polyp during the hysteroscopy) it made me feel more confident when we started trying again. When he found out I was pg again he was so excited (in a professional doctor way) but that kind of stuff meant alot to DH and I. There are Ob's out there who want to help and I hope your GP can refer you to one. Our Ob has made such a difference to our ttc journey, although he is not a miracle worker having his support & guidance has been wonderful.
jenushka.... looks like time will also give you a new OB..... My experience with my FS was just the worst. But I was new to IVF and knew no different that what he was telling me. I have learnt so much since my MC that I feel sorry for my next FS. I had Terry Sheehan strongly recommeded to me by my Accupunturist/Herbalist. She also knew my previous FS and knows EVERYTHING that happened. Terry Sheehan is on the North side of Brisbane. I have had to wait to get in there but if he is as wonderful as I ve been told then I will wait... my other FS was a monster.
The big thing I have learnt... change. There is no way in hell i would ever return to this other FS other than to abuse him, and even that he is not worth my effort. If you dont like how you are treated... leave... if you dont like their lack of compassion... leave... if you dont like bloody anything.. leave..... use this time to research ... speak to other people on here that are in Brisbane and ask who they see.... but dont... dont be where you arent happy.
Huge Hugs hun
Ohhh jenushka you must have been posting at the same time............
I sooooooo laughed at your idea.. I can imagine me sitting in the chair with my old FS... with my arms crossed.... "you want me to what... i m sorry I may not have heard you correctly....(spinning my head around to where you are all standing and having you all say nope.....bugger that... spinning my head back around to him).... nope... we decided bugger that and think you should pull your head out of your ar$e"
ROFL
Last edited by Baby Angels; August 2nd, 2008 at 03:45 PM.
Ladies - again you have me just so appreciative of your support. I just read all of your posts out to dh (who actually got a bit teary) and he wanted me to come on here and thank all of you for your words of kindness. Whatever bad things are going on for you at the moment, just know that you have done a good thing by taking the time out of your day to post those words for me.
Doing kind of ok - my face was sore last night from crying so much, and my beautiful ds gets so worried now when he sees me cry that I am trying to keep it together for the most part. Have had a bit of cramping and a bit more spotting, so I can hold out until Tues...
I went with Dh to an appt he had this morning with my lovely GP (now to be called Dr Amazing). DH told Dr A what happened yest and she was genuinely shocked and upset. I told her I wanted to come and see her next week after the d&c so she could explain the additional ultrasound findings ("bulky uterus"? Disinhomogenuity of the decidual layer"? etc) to me and she said absolutely. She also said we will talk about what we can do next and be proactive about this. And she will ring around and find the best counsellors in the area that will help with our situation, and have the details by the time I see her next. I wanted to hug her. So next Fri at 10.15am I have a date with Dr A.
Oh, and she bulk billed the 45 minute visit - single appts are normally $60.
I did have a smile earlier - I thought imagine if all of us came to each other's appts? I would love to sit in my ob's office next time with every one of you standing behind me with arms crossed glaring at the dr and just daring them to say - "there's nothing we can do, but just wait and see"
Oh and pbstar - thinking of you on your angel's due date too ... let the tears flow and be close to dh during this difficult time...
jen - I'm sorry I didn't chat last night. Tbh, I forgot ! So it wasn't mamma tiredness but good ol' momnesia!!!!!! sorry hun..... i'll just take my chances over the next few nights and hope to bump into u
Smi: Sorry the dreaded witch showed her face hon!!!! I was sure she was banned! I hope you're doing ok I kep having dreams she shows up. Would be nice to switch of when I go to sleep but, alas, my brain has been highjacked by ttc.
Jenushka: I so glad you've found a decent doctor! She sounds like the kind of doc who would know all the right ob's too. I'm keeping my that they all help hon.
You astound me with your strength!
Jen: Where were you last night? I even checked the chat room? Don't tell me you had a better offer?! No. No way!
:P
. I will continue to lurk, (as this is my second home!), and maybe soon I can join you again when I feel brave enough to get back on the rollercoaster...
hun. you are such a strong and amazing woman and you will get through this...counselling sounds like a great idea to help though. it saddens me too to think you are supposed to go through this yet again to get any tests/answers- stay strong and keep pushing for what you know you deserve. 
I can hold out until Tues...
! So it wasn't mamma tiredness but good ol' momnesia!!!!!! sorry hun..... i'll just take my chances over the next few nights and hope to bump into u 
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