TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 08 #2

[prayingandhoping]

Thank you all so much for your support. I am currently waiting to see if this cylce is relatively normal and then the hubby and I are going to start trying again. I've done a lot of thinking and praying and hoping...and I have decided that I am not in control of any of this. God is - he gives life and he takes it away. I've learned a lot about myself, my DH and my relationships with other people. I also have learned that my plan and my timeline don't really matter, because God is in control of everything. I am going to do what I can and then just trust him to do the rest.

Best of luck to everyone...you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you all...you are amazing women!!


Remember - It's all alright in the end...if it's not alright it's not the end.

[tina_k]

oh praying and hoping, your words really hit home with me, im really trying to focus on being positive. You are right, God is in control of everything, and even though i wanted to have ths baby so badly, He didnt think it was the right time for me. Ive done all that i can, and now i have faith that God will do the rest. thank you for your inspirational words

[mollycat]

Betty - as others have said now is the time to concentrate on yourself - hard as it can be you need to ignore others. Give yourself this weekend for some big self pampering. Wishing you all the best for your op on monday - because you are definately going to have it.

[danielsgirl1113]

Hi everyone, I just got home from work and I'm SOOO tired.. not so much physically but mentally. It was a hard day, very stressful and hectic. I just wanted to drop a quick post about what the Doctor said, and I will try to do personals tomorrow.

I went to the Doctor by myself (my DH would have gone but I told him not to worry, he was painting the eaves of the house and the shop out back and I told him to stay and finish, I felt good and thought I would be fine.) I got to the DR's office and she was running 30 mins behind because a woman who is expecting had fallen and needed to be examined. (so obviously no one minded waiting.) But I was in the waiting room and I was literally the only one in there who was not either pregnant or holding a baby carrier. So I got a little sad and tried to focus on other things, and think that it will be me PG again soon. But then a nurse came out of the exam room down a long hall, and I guess when she opened the door you could hear the ultrasound machine with the baby's heart beat on it. I started crying. I couldnt help it. It really got to me. I found out that our baby's heart had stopped on the day I was going to get to hear it for the first time. Exactly 3 weeks to the day of my DR's appointment.

I tried to choke back the tears and calm down. ... Then the girl next to me started talking to two of the girls across the room who were just a huge PG as she was.... The other two girls were both 19 and one was having a boy and the other a girl. The girl next to me was 15 and 8 and 1/2 month along and having a boy. ( I turned 27 the day before my Dr's appointment and was more than a little annoyed that the "babies next to me were having babies" when I had waited until I was settled to start trying. I know I know I know that is very selfish of me to think that way and I DEEPLY appologize to anyone here who is 19 or 15. I know they love their babies just as much as I love the one I lost...... it just hurt me. ( I suppose I need to work on my issues ).

Anyway the Dr finally called me into the room and DIDNT EVEN EXAMINE ME!! She just wanted to see how I was doing EMOTIONALLY! I said, well not so great right now, I just waited 30 mins in a room FULL of mothers and mothers to be and right now I'm having a hard time holding back the tears. The DR (who I actually like alot) said that this appointment was just a Mental Check up and that she wouldnt do a physical exam for 2 more weeks. ( 5 weeks post D and C ) She said not to have sex until then (so now I'm going on 1 and 1/2 months no sex because of problems when I was pregnant. ) and I have to wait 2 more weeks. Then she said when I do get to have sex ( hopefully after next appt. on April 10th) I have to use precautions so I dont get PG for atleast a month.

NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!!!! Maybe I will get my AF before the 10th and she will say we can try sooner. My D and C bleeding has been stopped for 2 days, (not even spotting) so maybe that is a good sign.

I hate to ramble but I had to get it off my chest. Oh yeah... my grandmother really hurt my feelings because when I left the Dr's office I called her and was telling her about it and how sad it made me, (I wasnt crying, I was just telling her that I was sad) and she said, "you are just going to have to get over it, you can't control who is pregnant. Dont let it bother you." I got so mad and upset, I started crying and had to hang up. I know she didnt mean to be so mean but MAN that REALLY hurt me, how do I "just get over it?!?!"

Oh well, tomorrow will be better, and I promise to catch up on some personals...

OH YEAH and all the dizziness is in part because my Iron is low, and I might have an ear infection... I need to get check out.... bye for now.

[Abbey B]

Danielsgirl1113,

so sorry to hear that you have had a bad day.. I fully understand what you mean though. When i was Miscarrying my doctor looked at my DF and said "now dont touch her for at least 2 months" I know he meant that not to "touch" (have sex) but my DF took it literaly and didnt touch me at all, not even hugging because he thought that he wasnt allowed to.. I just wanted to be held but cause the doc said "now dont you touch her" he thought he couldnt...

As for seeing PG people everywhere, i thought that going back to work would be good for me but it really made it worse.. My first shift back (i work at a supermarket) i had to serve a heavily PG couple buying lots of newborn things and telling me that they were so excited cause their baby was due in 2 weeks (right on christmas)


Thats the great thing about BB though, you really do know that you are not alone in the way you feel and react to things.. :hugs:

P.S, im 19 and didnt take offence to what you said either

[JMG]

Hi Guys

I have been here before but took a long break to get over a few things. Since i was here last it is sad to see so many new names. One would like to think no-one would have to go through what we have.

I have been in and out of this thread for a while now and I love the fact that everyone supports one another.

My story is I was married in 1997 and not long after had blighted ovum, which was devastating. We tried to fall pregnant nearly straight after but couldn't, so the doctor did some tests to find my cervix was too acidic for my husbands (sorry tmi!). So I went on some medication to lower the acidity of my cervix but they sent me silly so I through them in the bin and decided to live life. I fell pregnant that month with my beautiful daughter.

Since then I have miscarried twice more, both without reason so we took a break for over a year and have been trying for the last month to try to fall pregnant once more. If I miscarry once more which I'm won't happen I will need to involve the specialist to try to determine any problems we may have, but for now I am on the tww at about 7dpo waiting to see what happens.

I wish everyone in here , and would like to throw around heaps of as well.

Good luck to everyone for the rest of the month and when I understand how to better post threads I will do personals. It's taken me ages just to do this!!

[tina_k]

JMG, welcome back (i guess!) its terrible to be here but you are right, its a great source of sanity for us!
well, you and i are TTC buddies, as i am also 7 dpo..i have a long cycle though (33 days), so i wont be testing for a while
good luck for this cycle

[fiona264]

Hi all,

My Low GI Diet is working great. I am so not hungry at all and I am struggling to eat the 1500 calories a day. The low GI foods are keeping me "not hungry" at all. I love the dense breads, not in a sandwich but toasted is yum. I am a bit addicted to Special K now. I am not a cereal eater traditionally cause I can't stand milk in cereal, but it is still really nice and fills me up with only 40g of it. Other than that, I am loving it and feel good on the inside. It has given me a bit of energy which is good cause I was lacking before.

Canary Hi to you too. I am going to leave trying to find a new doctor for a while, and see if anybody recommends anyone. But in the meantime I will be on my Low GI and TTC

danielsgirl1113 I am so sorry about your story. As you probably read in some of my posts, I too was sad and upset at what people especially what my doctor said to me. People sometimes are not very tactful at what they say. They don't understand that it hurts. :hugs:

tina_k Hi to you. I hope you have been ok.

bettyboop Hi. I just read your post yesterday and sending you big hugs.

Hi to everyone else that I missed and sending you all

[plc1805]

JMG - just wanted to welcome you to the thread and thank you for sharing your story. I wish you a mountain of baby dust in return and please stay positive cos that's going to help you achieve your dream !!!!!

[jen805]

danielsgirl--So sorry to hear about your terrible day! I think what your Grandma said was horribly insensitive! It never ceases to amaze me that it's the ones that supposedly love us the most, are the ones that hurt us the most. I've also been told to just "get over it" and "I should be grateful for what I have". People like that just don't understand--and unless it's a person's been through something like that, they just can't understand what it's like. But they should just keep their mouths shut, and keep their opinions to themselves. Thumper's mom once said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"! Danielsgirl, our losses are only a day apart, so I truly feel like I'm right where you are! You're not alone, and very much in my prayers! Hope your day is better today!
JMG--Thanks for sharing your story. You're right, everyone here is so supportive! It's very comforting to have other women to talk and vent to! Women who actually care and understand exactly what your talking about. Welcome to BB! Hope your stay here is short. Good luck TTC!