Thanks for your response.
Our story is a bit of what came first the chicken or the egg .... not sure if contractions caused the problem initially or if it was a weak cervix. Basically when I was admitted I had buldging membranes (hence no cervical stitch) and was 2 cm dialated. the rest of my labour was "silent" until one morning I was 6-7 cm dialated and Niki was breech and had to be born via c-sec.
We won't know until the next pregnancy whether it was contactions that started the ball rolling or if my cervix buckled under pressure
I guess that not knowing makes it harder in some respects.
I have a fabulous Ob who has assured me that they will be taking no chances next time and that I will be monitored weekly and he will be happy to see me 100 times a week if need be (his words)
My desire to be a mum is quite intense its just stepping into the depths of the unknown ... can be so nerve racking. I don't want to live my life afraid but I am scared as hell - which I am sure is perfectly normal too.
Its just nice to hear about others in the same boat because it can be so isolating - same as mourning actually. My friends are either married no kids, single or have had uneventful pregnancies - none know what I have been through nor can truely appreciate what a big deal another pregnancy will be.
Hope your journey is successful and a happy one. please keep me posted and if you ever want to chat/vent pm me anytime
Firstly ... I'm so sorry for your loss. I read your birth story or BA (can't remember which one it was) when you posted it and cried mostly through it.
It's really scary to TTC after a preterm birth ... It was for me anyway. It's still scary in a way, everyday after my prem-date is a new feeling and a new experiance. But you are right, one should not live life in fear. I have no idea what you must be feeling now ... I only had a preterm birth, I did not loose my baby.
All I want to say to you is that you should keep in mind that no two pregnancies are the same. What happened with Nikita, might not happen with the next one and MY feeling is ... if you don't try, you'll never know, kwim?
I am glad you trust your OB and that he is willing to take special care of you. I think that if you have a great relationship with your OB, your'e in good hands. He will know what is best of you and your baby and if you trust him to make the right medical decisions for you ... it can only be in your best intrest.
Nae, I'm so glad you've got a great OB, it will make all the difference. He knows your history and I'm sure he will take good care of you from the sounds of it. He may pop a stitch in just to be safe - I know a few people that had it done just as a precaution and have gone on to have healthy babies (and one of them had to be induced as she was so overdue!). As Nadine said, no two pregnancies are the same so we have to believe that it will NOT happen again.
By no means is it easy, it is absoultely terrifying but as you said, we can't live in fear and obsess about the "what if" - the two worst words in the English language as far as I'm concerned.
I totally agree that this process is so lonely. Friends and family try to understand but they can't truly appreciate the pain and suffering we have been through - that's why we have each other on BB to help us grieve about our past and look forward to a brighter future.
Nae, everything will be ok, I'm certain of it. Feel free to PM me anytime also. Take care and sending you the biggest hug I can muster up. Keep me posted.
Nadine, congratulations on your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best.
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