What comes 1st - O or AF after D&C?

[Darily]

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to ask a question.

I had a D&C on 22nd October. I am assuming that I consider this day the start of a new cycle, and that when my HCG levels disappear to 0, my body will start sending around hormones to bring on Ovulation, followed by my first AF. Is that right?

I normally (prior to the D&C) had a 31 day cycle, Ovulating around CD19 with a 12 day LP. I'm charting my temps so I can confirm if and when O happens, which will hopefully give me a good idea that AF is coming around 12 days after I see the sustained temp rise.

I've been advised by my Ob to wait until my first AF, and then we're free to TTC again after that.

Can anyone tell me if I've got this all right? It's such a confusing time and I'm just desperately trying to focus on moving forward.

I hope we are all blessed with another chance at a precious gift very soon

[klee]

darily, i'm sorry i don't have the answer, i just saw that you lost your little peanut, how devastating for you, no words can express the feelings you must be having, i just feel so sad for you, but i just wanted to pass on my thoughts and prayers to you hon, I pray you are doing the best you can. thinking of you.

[Junglemum]

Hi darily, first i am sorry for your loss.
i am not sure i can answer your question in full. But i just wanted to say that you can have your period without actually ovulating.
Also after a misscarriage it can take a while for your body to come back to its normal cycle. Not for everyone, but sometimes.

I had 2 m/c and my period took 2 cycles to settle down to 'normal' both times.

I hope the road to your baby is a short one. xxx

[nicjay]

Hi Em,

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. Big hugs.

My belief is that either scenario (O before AF or no O before AF) is possible. I guess you won't really know for sure unless you are charting, and even then you won't know for sure until after it has happened.

I found out I had had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks on the 2nd Oct and had a D&C on the 3rd Oct. I started charting again about a week after my D&C and it took about 2 and a half to 3 weeks for my temps to drop back down to pre O temps. My temps then went back up earlier this week, so FF has given me a coverline for Tuesday this week. I'm pretty sure it is right too as it agreed with CM observations as well. So hopefully in about a week and a bit now AF will show up.

We plan on TTC again next month - my ob advised me just to wait for one AF and then go ahead with TTC if I am up to it as well. The clocks ticking for me, so I don't really want to wait anyway, and hopefully it will help ease the pain of losing this bub a little

All the very best to you, I hope your baby dreams come true.

[Darily]

Hi Susannah,

My heart goes out to you, as you must have had a difficult year, x 2. I am so anxious to get AF and start TTC again, however equally as scared. I don't think that I will be able to relax until around the 14 or 15 week mark next time around, and even then, I will always be anxious. Pregnancy is so painfully unpredicatable yet wonderful at the same time!

Many people say to have a break from charting to recover emotionally, but I think if I keep a track of my temps and know I have O'd, I will be able to guess when AF is showing up and will feel much closer to moving forward.

I'm still wondering why, I can't help it. I was taking Vitex, so I wonder if that had some connection? I know I will never have an answer as there often isn't one, but I just hold hope in the fact that many people go on to have healthy babies both before and after miscarriages have happened.

I wish you all the luck in the world and hope to meet you in the pregnancy threads again VERY soon.

xx

[nicjay]

Thanks Em. Yes it has been a terrible year for me - certainly this last month I can safely say has been one of the worst months of my life But I keep telling myself that I can get through it, it WILL make me stronger in the end.

Already having a child I can only say to you that the risk of going through this heartbreak again is sooo worth the joy that they give you - hang in there and you will have it too in the end :hugs: I look at my precious DD and say thanks for her all the time now, especially when she comes up to me and gives me a kiss and cuddle and says to me "Mummy vewy sad" - she has been doing that a lot lately

I know exactly what you mean about charting again to know that you have O'ed - that's exactly what I felt like after my m/c. I just felt like I was in limbo land waiting and wondering when AF would come back and it just made me even sadder. Definitely I now feel a little better knowing that I have O'ed and that AF is just around the corner - for me I feel like trying again will all be part of the healing process. So if you think its the right thing to do for you, I'd go for it.

I'm also pretty scared as you are - I've got no idea how I will get through the first 14 weeks (lots of visits to my ob I think!), and I think I'll just be anxious now too until I'm holding the baby. I also won't be telling any family or friends until I can't hide it any longer - especially seeing as the reactions of certain members of my family have left a lot to be desired

I don't know about the Vitex - I tried it for a couple of months and stopped taking it about 2 months before I fell pg because my ob recommended Clomid to me for an LPD. All Vitex did for me was to make my short cycle ridiculously shorter. I am inclined to think though that it would be best to only be taking it under the supervision of a reputable naturopath maybe? Anyway, I fell pg on the first Clomid cycle and have wondered the same about it too although my ob assures me that that is not the case - I think it is only natural to wonder if something like Vitex or Clomid could be to blame.

I've just about accepted that there is no reason for what happened besides horrible bad luck, in my heart I believe that there must have just been something terribly wrong with our bub that it just couldn't survive My ob assures me (and I'm sure this would apply to you too) that I have an 80% chance of having a healthy baby next time around - they're pretty good odds!

Hope to catch you in the pregnancy threads too - really soon!

[Darily]

I am right with you on the keeping the next pregnancy a secret. This was the first grandchild on my side of the family, and the 13th on my husbands side (he has older brothers and sisters).

So with my family, they were absolutely devastated. My mother is not coping very well still, which makes me wish I never put her through this in the first place and had waited to tell her. My husbands family on the other hand, keep telling me "yes, well it's quite common and we've been there, but that's how life is sometimes". It's like going from one extreme to the other . . . neither of which I like!

All I know is that I was the happiest woman alive on 14th September when I found out, and the saddest on 22nd October when the heartbeat had disappeared. Everything in between doesn't really matter.

You know, I feel good about this chat. I think we're on the way to being Belly Buddies really, really soon. It's time for things to go OUR way, so bring on AF and lets get started on these precious miracles of ours!

We're going to be fine

Take care xx

[nicjay]

You're so lucky having a supportive Mum - my Mum was one of the ones that has made awful comments She is very religious (I hope I don't offend anyone who is religious here) and didn't approve of me having a D&C, and told me so on the day we told her about the miscarriage, because it is too close to an abortion (which she doesn't approve of). Her faith makes her think that a "miracle" might have happened if I had not had the D&C. She also made the comment "Its a shame you don't believe in heaven" when I told her that I had actually had more than one miscarriage this year I must admit I'm still really upset with her even though she apologised (well sort of but that's another story altogether). My stepmother has actually been more supportive than my own mother - she lost her mother as a teenager, so she understands grief pretty well. Oh and my stepmother's mum had 4 miscarriages and a stillborn before she finally had my stepmother - imagine going through that

So between that and my DH's family that won't even talk about it to me and have not even said as much as an "I'm sorry" to me - I guess its because they don't want to upset me, but it makes me feel worse because its like they just expect me to carry on as normal and pretend it didn't happen.

Anyway, sorry about all of that - I guess I just had to get it off my chest

It has been good having a chat with someone who understands - I'm also going to a local miscarriage support group next week, so hopefully that will help too.

I'm sure it will happen for both of us soon too - good things come to those who wait!

[diva det]

Megsmum
so sorry to hear of your loss- its just not fair!
I had a missed m/c 6 weeks ago at 12 weeks as well.

my body went straight back to normal and i am just about to have a IVF tranfer on Monday so I know that i am ovulating again properly. I have a normal sized follie and thick lining and this is only my second cycle since my m/c.
everyone is different I guess- but you definately ovulate first and then get AF- its just waiting for ovulation to kick back in.
HTH and good luck!!!
odette

[satya]

Yes you have it all worked out correctly. Best of luck that all goes well next time. The last two pregnancies my DF couldn't help but tell people the minute we found out (even though I didn't want anyone to be told). So far we've managed to tell no one this time (still early days yet) but I'm really struggling with that....this time I want to spill the beans.

[Clueless]

Hi Darily
I have been looking for you to see how you went with your first visit to Sam and just came across this thread. I'm very sorry to hear you lost your little peanut, and I'm also sorry for you other girls too. I have been quite worried about losing my baby, especially seeing all these little angels flying around on the threads, but so far so good. Reading about you guys just makes it clear that there really is just some bad luck out there for no apparent reason. I wish you all very good luck next time around. I hope to hear happy stories from you all very soon.

[mummacassdy]

Dear Darily
I am so sorry to hear of your recent heartbreak. I am also confused as to what is happening cycle wise. Short story - we lost our baby due to trisomy 21 but I delievered him at almost 18 weeks. I was expecting at least 2 weeks of bleeding but after 2 weeks it watered down to pink and then sticky brown and then when I thought it was just about over - 4 weeks after the delivery it seemed I got my period! Bright red blood, lots of it and mild period symptoms. It is just confusing. Could I have my period when there was no gap between the post partum bleeding and the period?
Anyway, I hope your fog clears soon and you can get back on the road to conception again. Much love to you - Mummacassdy