What comes 1st - O or AF after D&C?

[nicjay]

Thanks Em. Yes it has been a terrible year for me - certainly this last month I can safely say has been one of the worst months of my life But I keep telling myself that I can get through it, it WILL make me stronger in the end.

Already having a child I can only say to you that the risk of going through this heartbreak again is sooo worth the joy that they give you - hang in there and you will have it too in the end :hugs: I look at my precious DD and say thanks for her all the time now, especially when she comes up to me and gives me a kiss and cuddle and says to me "Mummy vewy sad" - she has been doing that a lot lately

I know exactly what you mean about charting again to know that you have O'ed - that's exactly what I felt like after my m/c. I just felt like I was in limbo land waiting and wondering when AF would come back and it just made me even sadder. Definitely I now feel a little better knowing that I have O'ed and that AF is just around the corner - for me I feel like trying again will all be part of the healing process. So if you think its the right thing to do for you, I'd go for it.

I'm also pretty scared as you are - I've got no idea how I will get through the first 14 weeks (lots of visits to my ob I think!), and I think I'll just be anxious now too until I'm holding the baby. I also won't be telling any family or friends until I can't hide it any longer - especially seeing as the reactions of certain members of my family have left a lot to be desired

I don't know about the Vitex - I tried it for a couple of months and stopped taking it about 2 months before I fell pg because my ob recommended Clomid to me for an LPD. All Vitex did for me was to make my short cycle ridiculously shorter. I am inclined to think though that it would be best to only be taking it under the supervision of a reputable naturopath maybe? Anyway, I fell pg on the first Clomid cycle and have wondered the same about it too although my ob assures me that that is not the case - I think it is only natural to wonder if something like Vitex or Clomid could be to blame.

I've just about accepted that there is no reason for what happened besides horrible bad luck, in my heart I believe that there must have just been something terribly wrong with our bub that it just couldn't survive My ob assures me (and I'm sure this would apply to you too) that I have an 80% chance of having a healthy baby next time around - they're pretty good odds!

Hope to catch you in the pregnancy threads too - really soon!

[Darily]

I am right with you on the keeping the next pregnancy a secret. This was the first grandchild on my side of the family, and the 13th on my husbands side (he has older brothers and sisters).

So with my family, they were absolutely devastated. My mother is not coping very well still, which makes me wish I never put her through this in the first place and had waited to tell her. My husbands family on the other hand, keep telling me "yes, well it's quite common and we've been there, but that's how life is sometimes". It's like going from one extreme to the other . . . neither of which I like!

All I know is that I was the happiest woman alive on 14th September when I found out, and the saddest on 22nd October when the heartbeat had disappeared. Everything in between doesn't really matter.

You know, I feel good about this chat. I think we're on the way to being Belly Buddies really, really soon. It's time for things to go OUR way, so bring on AF and lets get started on these precious miracles of ours!

We're going to be fine

Take care xx

[nicjay]

You're so lucky having a supportive Mum - my Mum was one of the ones that has made awful comments She is very religious (I hope I don't offend anyone who is religious here) and didn't approve of me having a D&C, and told me so on the day we told her about the miscarriage, because it is too close to an abortion (which she doesn't approve of). Her faith makes her think that a "miracle" might have happened if I had not had the D&C. She also made the comment "Its a shame you don't believe in heaven" when I told her that I had actually had more than one miscarriage this year I must admit I'm still really upset with her even though she apologised (well sort of but that's another story altogether). My stepmother has actually been more supportive than my own mother - she lost her mother as a teenager, so she understands grief pretty well. Oh and my stepmother's mum had 4 miscarriages and a stillborn before she finally had my stepmother - imagine going through that

So between that and my DH's family that won't even talk about it to me and have not even said as much as an "I'm sorry" to me - I guess its because they don't want to upset me, but it makes me feel worse because its like they just expect me to carry on as normal and pretend it didn't happen.

Anyway, sorry about all of that - I guess I just had to get it off my chest

It has been good having a chat with someone who understands - I'm also going to a local miscarriage support group next week, so hopefully that will help too.

I'm sure it will happen for both of us soon too - good things come to those who wait!