Will fear always taint TTC after m/c?

[Karen van]

Thank you Sunflowa_Girlie

I'm sorry life has been so callous towards you - and I hope that your pre-conception efforts continue to progress towards your goal!

Maybe it is a time factor - and a bit of a cumulative effect - I had to put my 15 1/2 year old canine companion Zuna down shortly after the m/c and we've been trying to support DP's mum who has aggressive breast cancer and is travelling through chemo at the moment - it has been a year of endings in a lot of ways - so maybe there is a tiredness of spirit which comes with these things if I look at the whole context. Being with babies and pregnant mums - most of my friends are one or the other - fills me with joy and a sense of peace - I understand the bigger cycles go on regardless. So perhaps this is a passage that needs to be navigated and just accepted.

I have heard it said that greater experience brings greater awareness and so maybe the fear is just an acknowledgement of more of the rounded nature of pregnancy - the good and the bad - than I had with a first pregnancy that did not involve any complications and allowed a more oblivious state of mind. Must remember to breathe more deeply and see more I think.

Many thanks
Good luck with everything!
Karen van
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[briggsy's girl]

Karen - i think there is always a degree of fear - what can i do? what can i change? will it happen again?

it doesn't go away - but it changes as you go through the steps. you go from being too scared to try, to scared of being pg, to scared of each niggle and pain as your pg progresses. you'll have good days and bad days. it's all a matter of learning how to live with it (which can be difficult!)

good luck
BG

[Karen van]

Hello Briggsy's Girl

Thank you - you are right - it is the degree of your progress that diminishes the fear I suppose. Like trying to avoid a self-fulfilling prophecy... Well - here's to TTC!

Much love and laughter
Karen