Danek: There isn't really a straightforward answer to that. I felt cheated, why did I have to go through all this worry again? I would be at my 12 week scan and be so upset, was I looking at Harry or my new baby. It was all just so surreal. A weird sense of deja vu. I was so nervous and worried and I guess angry that my innocence was lost. I didn't really plan for the questions people ask, like "Is this your first?" and there were many days when I just felt like it was all too much. But at the same time because I knew how precious life is, I treasured every moment and was so in tune with my body that I guess I made myself trust my body again.

Since having Oliver, I will say that I have really progressed. His birth was different, I cried because I was so happy he was here but I also cried because Harry wasn't. However as he grows I have felt the clouds of sadness lift. It is hard to be sad when he smiles at me. Having him has helped me so much with healing. Sometimes I think, I lost a son but Oliver lost his big brother but I guess I can't let myself wonder too much.

If you feel up to it, and you feel like it might help you, I have written my birth story for both my boys in the Birth Stories thread. Is is titled 'My boys - may be upsetting for some'. It puts into words all the emotions I was feeling.