howdy Sonni. i am so sorry for your loss of Sebastian. i wish i had some wise words that would ease your pain about his death. although i sincerely wish that no one ever had to feel this pain again, it does help so much to have a community of folks who know what one is feeling. the support i have found here at bb helped me through some dark times in my grief, through our ttc, and now that i am trying to figure out how to stay sane in this subsequent pregnancy.

i too had my first son, Yeti, born still at 39 weeks. although we have an answer, his cord had wrapped around his neck and cut off his supply of oxygen, the pain and questions about why this happened persist. now they have translated into questions about whether it will happen again. this grief journey is a tortuous path, and it helps to know what others have gone through or are going through.

i wish you and your partner a short ttc, and an uneventful pregnancy with a live baby at the end. welcome to this group of amazing women, and big hugs to you. m