Oh Klee honey, I am so sorry for the loss of your darling little girl Phoebe. What a wonderful name you gave her.
I lost my son Harrison (my first child also) at 36w2days on 6 October last year. I think it was a few months before I actually went an entire day without disolving into a river of tears. It hurts so bad, I know how that pain feels and I am here to support you with your pain. I didn't have a cord accident, but other ladies here have, and I am sure that as soon as they see your post they will gather around you and help you try to make sense of this tradgedy.
As Michelle and Trish said, grief doesn't have a timetable and it is unpredictable. What you are felling is totally normal, I truly understand how you feel when you said you have an empty heart. My heart aches everyday for my little Harry, I don't think that will ever go away. What I can tell you though is that the intense grief that you are experiencing will lessen a little with time. You will all of a sudden realise that you have made it through a day without tears. It doesn't mean that you have forgotten Phoebe, she is your daughter and you will never forget her.
Just thinking back I remember how much of a blur those first few weeks were. Feeling like you are in an emotional bubble is a very accurate way to explain it.
Just know that we are all here for you and will take you under our wings and help you walk this painful path.
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter Phoebe. I havent lost a baby in late pregnancy but have many little angels up there so I cant even begin to understand your pain but I hope I can help you find comfort and freindship.
As Spring and the other girls have said time is what you need, allow yourself time to grieve and cry this is so very normal and something that we have to do. You will wake up one day and smile and cry tears of happiness at the memory of Phoebe but take the time and be so very good to yourself.
I do hope so much you can join us and inturn we can help you, I only wish I didnt have to writing to you but as we are here we can help. My prays are with you and you DH at this time.
all my love Nat xxx
Klee - you are already stronger than I could imagine myself to be in the same situation. I am so deeply sorry for what happened and that you lost your lovely baby.
Is there a health psychologist attached to your local hospital you could speak to, if you are not already undergoing counselling? Counselling is ace when you find a good counsellor who can provide you with some constructive avenues of thought.
If you feel a bit detached from it sometimes, don't feel bad, just go with it. There are other times when you will feel like you're being ripped apart...maybe the detached feeling is a way for you to give yourself a break, you need that in order to go on and function, perhaps. It's worth talking to someone about it, to get feedback about how you are going to move on from here. And you will :hugs:
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