Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage April '08

[jo76]

hammi - your post bought tears to my eyes! All our babies were meant to have their mark in the world - they were concieved in the first place! I am glad that you are starting to get some results back eventhough they are not a "comfort" as such after all that you have been through. I can't imagine what it is like to wait for that long -i had to wait a week and that was mind numbingly long for me! So take care of yourself while this medical side of things is all still going through the paces for you!Katie will be able to share her experiences of the nautropath as she was seeing one herself. i think it is a great idea as it is a really positive step forward and from katies posts (i can't speak directly for her!) she seemed to get alot of her visits to one.
As for people referring to hamish as a miscarriage - its hard i know. I feel very similar in that because i was'nt showing with Jack (i tend to not show at all till at least 6.5 months although this time i have a beer gut look going on!!!lol!) i think it was always taken a little less seriously than if i had been one of these women who show the minute the test is positive. Does that make sense? If i had lost him with a rounded belly i really believe people would have been more sensitive to his death as it would have been a visual preganancy for them...i hope this makes sense, just my views of my experience, but its to say i kinda get where your at! (can i blame the above paragragh on preg brain -its seems rambled!!!)
For everyone though - i picked up Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy today. It retails normally for about $20 but got it for $7.95 so i had to get it! I am already a few chapters in and it is so lighthearted and fantastic. I already feel better about EVERYTHING! So if you want to smile get it. I am so glad i found it! (i read her book about her son having autism and thats why i could'nt go past it, she is truthful and funny and i loved her last book!)
take care everyone! Esp you hammi!
x jo

p/s katie - what were you thinking checking work at 11.30! Your DH is'nt the only one upset with you! REST!!!!!! and also one of the girls at work is onto me about being preg., I have told my mgr just in case there are any dramas and apparently this other girl who is studying final year nursing went up to her and said about 5 different reasons why she thinks i am pregnant. I told my DH as he has wanted us to keep it quiet for now and he said well if she can keep her mouth shut then tell her. Which i am a little confused over, he will let me tell a girl at work who he does'nt know but he won't tell his dad or stepmum?!?!? men!!

[Katiegirl]

Hammi - you know it never bothered me too much saying that Nathaniel was classified a miscarriage - I think because I had to have a D&C rather than deliver him. Then I went to a support group and the midwife who runs it asked me if it bothers me that he has been labelled an mc - until then I never really thought about it. It kind of stopped me and I had to think about it - and yes it does a bit. I guess I always say we found out at 20 weeks and that makes people realise how far along we were. Overall I have been lucky and most people have been very sensitive - but I too hate the 'these things happen for a reason', 'it is nature's way', blah blah. I hate it! I want to say - thank you but this was my son and that gives me no comfort. Aaghh people just say things that they think offer comfort but really it is for their sake not ours - that may sound harsh but I know I have been guilty of it in the past. We say cliches just because we can't think of anything else to say. I learnt a long time ago that 'sorry' is usually enough. Rant over.

I think its great that both you and your DH are doing the naturopath together. I couldn't even get my DH to take 1 multivitamin a night - meanwhile I have been taking the most horrendous tonics and about 10-12 tablets a day! So I think it is wonderful that your DH is taking responsibility for it as well - my naturopath used to tell me that creating a baby is 50/50, but some how when it came to DH taking his tablet...not so even!

Jo - I hate when people act all super sleuth about pregnancies - especially given our situation. I have not had anyone come up and ask me, but my stomach is looking quite round so they either think I am preg or just carrying a lot of weight in my stomach. I have said that I would get really angry is anyone asked me if I was pregnant, as I think it is insensitive. Good to hear you have told your manager. I still have not told anyone at work besides 2 close friends, so probably need to do that next week after the 15 week scan on Tuesday.

Well as for me, work is really bugging me today. Too many whingers - and as you can tell from my above rants I am thoroughly over people in general hehe. I can't wait to finish up but that won't be until Sept. Seems a long way to go.

Ok well I must sound very annoyed with the world today. It is good to let off some steam. Hope you don't mind.

[Hammi]

Hi Jo, yay for preggy brains! I hope I catch it off you in a few months' time :-) I was starting to show, in fact, two days before I lost Hamish someone at work said "Wow it's really happening now!". I'll always remember that because I was standing there grinning at my baby tickling me inside my tummy. That was the last time I ever felt him.

Katie, those multi-vitamins are horrendous. We gag and gag when we take them. Were your pills really huge too? And the tonics, my DH is convinced ours are just grass clippings mixed into mud water. They really taste like it. So do you think doing all of that helped you with this bub?

Are you in marketing (because you mentioned doing a tradeshow). I am, and I hate events!

Goodnight everyone, hope you get loads of angel kisses in your dreams.

[Katiegirl]

Hi Hammi. Some of my tablets are huge - DH calls them horse tablets. I have always thought the tonics were like having to have a shot of rough bourbon or something. I have been taking them since January and I still hold my nose. I do feel they have helped me prepare for conception and also helped with my health during this pregnancy. It might be a mind over matter thing, or it might really be helping. Either way, at the least I went into this pregnancy knowing that I was taking plenty of supplements and that gave me a confidence boost.

And yes I am in marketing - for conference and incentive industry industry. I used to be an event manager but have moved into the marketing of destinations now. I too hate trade shows and yet I always seem to be organising one. If I wasn't pregnant, I truly believe I would be looking for a new job, as I feel so unmotivated with this one.

Well I just woke up - so I have had about 13 or so hours sleep. I am guessing I needed it.

Have a great weekend everyone.

[jen805]

Good morning ladies! It's been a few days since I've posted here in this thread, but I've been in and out, lurking, reading your posts, and of course, you're all always in my thoughts and prayers!


jo--Sorry to hear you were sick with the flu. That was a couple days ago, so hopefully you're feeling much better by now! So glad to hear about your great Mother's day, and the way your family included Jack in your picture frame! Hope you thoroughly enjoying your


Katiegirl--Can't wait to hear about your 15 week scan! It will be such a relief to get past that 15 week hurdle, and finally begin telling people you're pregnant! Hope you have a great weekend!


Hammi--So glad to hear about the preconception program with the naturopath that you and DH will be taking. How great that you have something to focus on and look forward to! Also, really good news that your next pregnancy won't be considered high-risk. Obviously, emotionally it will be difficult getting past the milestones, but I have faith that you'll conceive at just the right time, when everything will be perfect, and you'll have no complications! That's my prayer for you, at least! I know how much you must miss Hamish, and how much you love him. Remember he's always with you in mind, heart, and soul--and nobody can take that from you!

I hope you all have a great weekend! I'm supposed to be O today according to my chart, so I guess we'll see what happens. DF and I have been very busy for the past week, so hopefully this will be our month! Will be busy for the rest of the weekend! for us all!

[Angel Babies 3]

Hammi,
I know it is no consolation for you, but even the medical profession would say that you had a stillbirth and not a miscarriage. Any baby over 20 weeks is classed as a birth regardless of the delivery method. Again I say, I know that won't make you feel any better about losing your precious child.
I find that other people who haven't experienced a loss seem to feel better about saying it was a miscarriage. Because they weren't fully involved with the baby they find it hard to even acknowledge that it really exsisted. It can be so darn irritating and upsetting.

I can't take away your pain but I hope that it brings you some comfort to know that I know that you have suffered the loss of a very much loved and wanted, darling baby boy.

Take care my dear,
Debbie

[Katiegirl]

Hi - just a quick one as I have it in my head that Jo is having her 12 week scan around now (or today) - so I wanted to wish you the best of luck and can't wait to hear the news.

As for me - I have my scan in 1 hour...I am very nervous. You would think that having them weekly would make it a little easier!