Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage April '08

[Angel Babies 3]

Hammi,
I know it is no consolation for you, but even the medical profession would say that you had a stillbirth and not a miscarriage. Any baby over 20 weeks is classed as a birth regardless of the delivery method. Again I say, I know that won't make you feel any better about losing your precious child.
I find that other people who haven't experienced a loss seem to feel better about saying it was a miscarriage. Because they weren't fully involved with the baby they find it hard to even acknowledge that it really exsisted. It can be so darn irritating and upsetting.

I can't take away your pain but I hope that it brings you some comfort to know that I know that you have suffered the loss of a very much loved and wanted, darling baby boy.

Take care my dear,
Debbie

[Katiegirl]

Hi - just a quick one as I have it in my head that Jo is having her 12 week scan around now (or today) - so I wanted to wish you the best of luck and can't wait to hear the news.

As for me - I have my scan in 1 hour...I am very nervous. You would think that having them weekly would make it a little easier!

[Hammi]

Oh thank you Debbie. That's very sweet of you to say. I know everyone in these forums understands loss. I take heart in what Katie said about people saying things more for themselves than for me.

Jen, you always know what to say. Hope this O day is The One for you and your DF.

Katie and Jo, how did your scans go? What did your bubs do? Can't wait to hear about them!

Hello to everyone else!

[Katiegirl]

Hi all. The scan went well and I can not tell you what a relief that was. My ob even picked up how nervous we both were. The baby has moved up a bit out of my pelvis (until now has still been very low) so it means that with each week the scans will become clearer. He did say that my placenta position and thickness (right between my stomach and the baby) means I probably won't feel 'reliable' movement until around 22 weeks. Typical! I am hoping I might get some flutters a couple of weeks before that but am trying not to stress about it. The baby gave a good kick whilst we were watching - probably telling us to get lost with the weekly scans! We forgot to ask for a measurement, and in my anal mind I am trying not to obsess over it. All looked good though. So big sigh of relief and crazy woman can have a rest for a couple more days.

[jen805]

Katiegirl--Great news on the scan! Glad to hear baby has moved up a bit, and that your scans will become more and more clear with each visit! So when will they be able to tell whether it's a boy or a girl? Are you able to get videos with each of your scans? I would think if you called the dr's office, they would be able to tell you the measurement that way you're not obsessing over it. I'm so glad you're able to get these weekly scans to help keep your worries at bay! Relax and enjoy, hun, it's going to be over before you know it! Sending you huge


Hi's to Hammi, jo, & Simba! Thinking of you all and hoping you're all well!

[jo76]

hey everyone!
we just got an update on our computer and now we just speed along! wo-ho!
All is ok with me, katie - appreciate your thoughts, my scan is coming up soon but not that quickly unfortuneately! Next mon i have my first OB appointment and then the week after, on the mon, i'll have the 12 week ultrasound eventhough i'll be a day off 13 weeks. So a little while to wait! I am exhausted this pregnancy, is anyone else the same? My husband will seriously leave me at this rate as his levels of understanding are at an all time low and i am wanting to sleep at 8.30 each night. I have a work styling session on tonight and won't get home from cheltenham till at least 10.30 so he was talking to me about my priorities at about 6.30am this morning. My problem with him at the moment is that if i asked he would'nt be able to tell me the due date or when my next ultrasound is i bet. So my husband is not my most favourite person right now and i am looking forward to a fun night of fashion styling! vent over!
hope you all are well!
really glad your scans are going so well katie. i have decided to ask for an ultrasound between my 12wk amd 12 week one for piece of mind, very much along your reasoning for your weekly. It will be a tough time to get through and i think for my stress levels will need the reassurance esp heading towards that 17-18 week mark. But just hang out for that movement, you have a very healthy bubs growing in there so you never know when they will decide to give you a nice kick hello!
jen - thanks for your thoughts also! I need that group hug right now. (pregnancy hormone overdrive i think!)
barbara and tm - not sure where you both are but i really hope you are both well! please let us know how you are going!!
talk soon now my zippy computer is firing away!
x jo

[Katiegirl]

Hi Jo - I was way off in thinking how far along you are! Blame it on preg brain - I actually think I may be suffering from this, plus also from an all time low tolerance with work. I was just working on an incredibly huge email to send out when my system crashed - so annoyed!

I would definitely encourage you to get a scan midway if that helps you. My ob said that my weekly scans are a good idea until I feel movement as I think he is fully aware how nervous we are. Poor you being so tired but having to work until 10:30! Is your DH annoyed that you are sleeping so much or working so much? Maybe he is just concerned for you but shows it by lecturing - typical manly thing to do! I would just remind him of the due date is I was you. I have to say that my DH is very different - each Saturday he wakes me by saying 'Happy 15 (or whatever week it is) Jbean (our name for this baby). I think because we don't already have children it makes it different for us. I heard DH speaking with an old friend and he told them about the baby and then went on to say how this is difficult for us and that we lost Nathaniel around this time. DH grew up in the country and this friend is from the country, and most of the men out there do not talk about feelings etc, so it makes me so proud to hear him being so honest with people.

Anyway - give your DH a change, and I say be honest and tell him what you need in terms of support and understanding. He came through on Mother's Day, so he obviously has his heart in the right place.

Jen - thanks for the congrats. It is so lovely how everyone gets excited for me. It gives a boost and helps me stay positive. Unfortunately my ob hasn't been giving me photos for with these weekly scans but I think I will ask for one next week. We have photos from our 6, 7 and 10 week scans (god I sound neurotic) and a dvd and photo from the 12, so we already have quite a collection. The 6 week is just of a jellybean which is where the name Jbean comes from. How are you going? I know your loss was still very recent and it must still hurt. You are so generous with your congratulations to people, I just hope you are getting the same back. Good luck with your testing, I guess this puts you in the TWW?

Hammi - thanks also for the well wishes. How are you going as well? I am sure you miss Hamish but I hope you are doing okay.

Simba - I will see you on Thursday night - do you remember what time was agreed upon? I emailed Moira but have not heard back.

Hi to TM and Barbara - I hope you are both well.

Well best get back to work and continue to be frustrated with the system!!!