thread: Trying to Conceive after Still Birth/ Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage ~ December 2008

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  1. #1
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Dec 2008
    Melbourne, VIC
    4,637

    Hi Berry1,

    Thank you so much for your welcoming and reassuring message. I really am feeling so much better and more positive about the op since I realise that the sooner it's done the quicker I can try for a bub again. I am so sorry for your loss, it's still so fresh and so raw, you are in my heart and in my thoughts .

    Theresa, I am so sorry for misspelling your name !

    love and hugs

    Beata.

  2. #2
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Dec 2008
    Melbourne, VIC
    4,637

    Thank you Katiegirl for welcoming me to your wonderful group. I really feel like I have found a place I fit in. I feel I am being understood, sadly by women who have gone through the same heart breaking experience ( oh how I wish we didn't have to ). Only you can truly understand, and feel my pain. I also feel your pain, and am so happy that you now have a beautiful bub to love and cherrish.

    Love and hugs
    Beata.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    May 2008
    170

    Wow!! hard to keep up with everyone's happenings at present!!!

    Firstly, welcome to Theresa and Beata. You both have such sad and familiar stories, my deepest sympathies to you as you spend Christmas without your babies. Theresa, I think you may have posted your story but I can't recall, did they find a cause for Zachary's passing? 35 weeks is so tough, so close.

    Beata, I hope your surgery goes well. I think we're probably in a similar position with regards to the uterus scar, I had to have a C-section but because the lower, non-muscular part of the uterus doesn't form till 28 weeks or so the scar may end up in the muscular part which makes labour more dangerous with a higher risk of uterine rupture. But aside from that and a higher risk of placenta accreta (which can be monitored and managed) you should be in prime baby-making shape soon!!!

    Diana, your DH sounds like a gem, I can't picture mine googling spotting haha!! I had implantation spotting as well, both times, it's not over till it's over!!

    Helen, I am with you on the BH... I have them all the time, like hourly, and got them from 16 weeks at the latest. I was quite perplexed as I was in bed and I'd wake up and my belly was all hard and all on one side, was odd, I asked the midwife and she said it was prob BH which we can get from like 8 weeks or something, and the uterus often moves around to make way for the other organs. They're super obvious now, strangely I can't remember them all first time round...

    Tildy, hope you have a great time at the in-laws. And can I add, having had a north hemisphere Christmas before there are MANY advantages to having it in summer!! Such as nice weather, summer holidays at the same time, lovely seasonal fruit, veges, seafood etc...

    Laney, happy birthday, hope it was as nice as it could have been... I had my b'day a few months ago and it was hard as I expected to have my baby before my 28th birthday (and I thought I'd have had one before my 27th but it took so long to fall first time round) so it's a very bittersweet thing. But it's easier once it's over I think. Hope your boy starts giving you nice strong kicks.

    Hi to everyone else, wishing speedy BFPs to all the tryers.

    As for me, had a bit of a meltdown yesterday... DH went to put up the Christmas tree and I said I'd rather he didn't as I was trying to avoid obvious reminders of Christmas... he asked why and I said because Christmas was supposed to be a very specific way this year (I would have a 4 month old and he would play with my sister's 5 month old), and he got upset and told me I had to talk to him because he's not a mind reader, and I said I try to talk to him about it but he doesn't really respond, and he says he's trying to not be negative and upset me and it went on from there... he seems to equate talking about Edward with being negative about this pregnancy. I told him I don't and grieving for our first child is a separate issue to our second. I don't think he really got it but anyway, I suppose it was a good vent, I had a good cry and relived everything.

    Baby has taken to kicking me quite hard in the bladder and cervix, can be quite uncomfortable. But I do love feeling he/she so much. I can't quite believe I'm coming to the end of the second trimester... As I said before though I'm having HEAPS of BH, has anyone else had them every hour?

    Anyway, my parents are arriving today so we're madly cleaning. I wish you all love on a day that will be bittersweet at best, hoping we can all look forward to bubs in our arms next Christmas.

    Love Rozzie

  4. #4
    Registered User

    May 2008
    215

    I can sympathise with you Rozzie, your DH sounds a bit like mine! I said something the other day about not seeing Cooper do all the things Corey is doing, and he just kinda says he doesn't like to think about those sorts of things it's too sad/negative. I feel myself getting defensive/protective for Cooper as to me I sometimes feel that he is trying to block him out rather than remember him, but I have to remind myself it's just his way. I think as mother's we just feel so different.

  5. #5
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Dec 2008
    Melbourne, VIC
    4,637

    Hi Rozzie,

    Thanks very much for your well wishes, I can't wait to get that op over and done with, so I can begin to heal and look forward to ( hopefully ) a new pregnancy. My OB did mention an almost certain c section next time as the uterus may rupture otherwise. I have to say I was a bit dissapointed as I would have loved a vaginal delivery, but at the end of the day if I get a healthy bub that's what really counts.

    I'm sorry you've had a blue with your DH, I actually find my fiancee is the same as he finds talking about Joshua upsetting, whereas I love talking about him as it makes me feel closer to him. I didn't want to put up a xmas tree this year as well, but he's so big on xmas that I just went with the flow. I would have been 34 weeks pregnant at Christmas so it makes me feel really sad that it's going to be so different to what I expected....
    Enjoy this Christmas knowing your little bub on the way is celebrating with you too.

    hgirs, men are so different aren't they ???? That will never change, we just do/deal with situations differently....

    Good luck ladies with your pregnancies, enjoy every bit of it !

    Hope everyone has a great Christmas and a wonderful 2009 filled with beautiful surprises ! Lots of Babydust to all TTC.

    Love and hugs

    Beata.

    Beata xxx

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Sydney
    232

    Girls, I adore you all so much for your thoughts and positive vibes but lets get the bad news over and done with. Spotting last night turned into the ugly unwelcome fat witch this morning so I knew I would get a BFN today. Needless to say, I am devastated and all day. I went to the beautician this arvo to de-hair and the first thing this stupid little girl said to me was "I love Xmas. Do you have excited kids at home waiting for Santa?? I burst into tears right on the spot and said "I have a baby boy and if he was alive, Im sure he would have been excited". She was mortified. I was sobbing so much but managed to get out "I bet you will think twice about asking that question now wont you?" I feel like such a b*tch and it really is an ok question to ask most women BUT NOT US AND NOT TODAY!! She gave me a hug, a box of tissues then didnt say another word!

    My FS is on holidays but he is coming in to see me tomorrow to discuss next steps. I may try another round of IUI but I think he wants to get the big guns out and try IVF so I have a lot of thinking to do tonight.

    Theresa, I am so sorry you are feeling down. Wish I could reach through the screen and give you a . I personally cant wait until this bloody "festive" period is over. It only emphasises our pain and what we are missing out on. Agggrrrrr.

    Beata, I am so glad you feel at home with us and yes, chat away while you are recovering. We are always here for you.

    Rozzie, sorry about your meltdown. As stated above, I think this time of year is lethal to us and some men just dont get it unfortunately. My DH is wonderful, when I was pg he googled his little heart out, read all the books and gave me the low down of where bubs and I were at each day! However, he doesn't talk about Sebastian much and chooses to focus on the future so I guess that is his way of dealing with things. How exciting for you to be feeling all those big kicks! Enjoy spending time with your parents.

    Lan & Tildy, hope you are enjoying your time away.

    Hey, noone answered my "What is BH"?? question. I have a feeling I should know but please dont think me dumb!

    So anyway, am back on the TTC journey and am excited to be sharing it with so many of you lovelies.

    Hello to everyone else and hope you are all doing well.
    Last edited by dd0207; December 23rd, 2008 at 06:48 PM.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    May 2008
    215

    Diana, I waited all day to hear your news, just wasn't the news we wanted, I'm sorry. I am with you I can't wait till Xmas is over, we had a shocker last year, and now with all that's happened this year... But 2009 will be the year for all of us I am hoping like mad! BH - sorry I meant to answer that and forgot, Braxton Hicks! Big hugs for today, it really is hard.