Spring - sending you :sticky: vibes for a BFP. I'm like the others a line is a line, however faint.
Mel - With B we had only lost our first angel (my 2nd) the month before I fell in with Bridie and her twin. We had decided that we weren't going to ttc for 6 months after the m/c and I had even had a depo injection, so not ttc can actually be the trick that does it.
Lynn - ... it does get easier in time but what you are feeling now is an important part of the grieving process and shouldn't be supressed. Don't feel guilty or bad that you have days where you just can't seem to function because we have all been there and it does get easier.
Kirsty - best wishes for the 22nd. Like Mel said, it is good that it seems they have found something that they can treat easily. It is a pity that we can't turn back time.. god how we would all love to be able to do that, but at least you have a bright prognosis for the future.
Kirsty : I am relieved for you that you have some answers but I can totally understand the mixed emotions that you must be feeling. You have done the right thing searching for answers and I hope that these answers give you the strenght and the hope to carry on TTC.
Lynn: the up and the down days just continue babe. I don't mean to tell you that because it happens for all of us, but I know myself I still have days where it all just seems too much. When you just want to feel ok again, not even great, just ok it seems like even that is a struggle. I still say to myself I just want to feel constant. That is the state I aim for. Not unpredictable.....just constant. Hang in there sweetie... PS the poem is beautiful.
Mel: LMAO about the toy clean up. I can just imagine the kids thinking that Santa was on their case. I just love the innocence of children, even if you use it to help clean up the toys. Also with the BD'ing this month, what DH doesn't know won't hurt him
Kerry: Do you like to be called Kerry? Anyway hun how are you? I hope you are having a nice relaxing weekend. You are amazing... I hope you know that.
Well I have left my update to last because I feel really selfish writing about this here. I know that if this does turn out to be a BFP you will be happy for me, but please don't think that I am throwing it in your face. I wish with all my might that each and everyone one of us not only gets a BFP but also gets to hold a gorgeous little earth angel soon. So please, please just know that even if this is a BFP, I don't want to leave the TTC thread yet, so don't kick me out (lol)
Well the line is darker than yesterday but still really feint. I am not even entertaining the thought that it is a +ive. I don't know why, maybe a self defence mechanisim. At the same time I am so excited but I just don't want to get my hopes up just yet. DH and I decided to keep testing until Tuesday when we get to Sydney and if the line keeps getting darker that we will go to a GP that day. Have I done the right thing? I mean I had tests but there are still so many I could have? I feel in my heart that everything will be ok and with the twins from the very begining I had sense of dread. So because I feel different will it be ok? Flowerchild said short LP like mine can cause early loss... Am I about to start bleeding? How early is early? I know I am going on and on but I have such mixed emotions at the moment. I am just really scared. So until Tuesday it is not a BFP, just some weird line on the test. :eek:
... it does get easier in time but what you are feeling now is an important part of the grieving process and shouldn't be supressed. Don't feel guilty or bad that you have days where you just can't seem to function because we have all been there and it does get easier.
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