TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth Sept 2009

[CharlieB]

Dh and i had a arguement about him going away for the weekend and i dont want him to go coz im not ready for him to be away all night yet, and yeah.......

I'm sorry to hear this crumpet, I completely understand you being upset, I'm sure its completely normal to want to have your DH close to you ATM

I agree 100% with beata70 - if you looked up needy in the dictionary - there I would be, waving at you!
I miss my DH like crazy even when he goes to work! I have a girlfriend who keeps asking me to go and stay with her for a few days, she is a plane flight away. But I keep refusing cause I can't bear the idea of being away from my DH at the moment.
Good advice from beata, hope you can organise friend/family to be with you if DH does end up going away.

Huge to you crumpet

[crumpet]

Crumpet, if I could reach across the screen I'd give you a big hug. I know the days/weeks after a loss are the hardest, you feel so fragile and needy, well I did anyway. Anytime DF popped out anywhere even for a couple of hours I'd get upset. I felt so needy and so alone when I was on my own. So I'm not surprised at you for being upset with your DH. Is there a GF that can come over to stay with you or can you stay with your parents, or a sibling? Company is very important ATM for you, you don't want to feel alone hun. Just remember, anytime you need a hug ask for one and I'll send you a hundred!!

thanks hun...... i had BIG issues when he went back to work, i was having anxiety quite badly but he made sure he finished early and had days off here and there to ease me back into being home alone during the day, which im ok with, its night that is the big issue now.....

we ended up compromising, he is going to go for the day sunday..... so then he doesnt miss out completely, but he isnt away at night...
not exactly what he wanted but after a lot of tears and sobbing he understood!

I'm sorry to hear this crumpet, I completely understand you being upset, I'm sure its completely normal to want to have your DH close to you ATM

I agree 100% with beata70 - if you looked up needy in the dictionary - there I would be, waving at you!
I miss my DH like crazy even when he goes to work! I have a girlfriend who keeps asking me to go and stay with her for a few days, she is a plane flight away. But I keep refusing cause I can't bear the idea of being away from my DH at the moment.
Good advice from beata, hope you can organise friend/family to be with you if DH does end up going away.

Huge to you crumpet

lol...sorry hun had to laugh at the dictionary comment!!

hun it hasnt been long so dont feel like u should be away from DH just yet..... give it a bit longer and u might well feel like going to see ur girlfriend, but i think u need to give it a bit more time. in time u will gradually feel better when DH goes to work, and then u will feel strong enough to go to visit ur GF.......

AFM: so arguement with Dh is sorted......
today i have a US to check up on what my cervix is like pre pregnancy so my OB can see how things change...... not overly excited seeing as it will be an internal scan dildo camera here i come

[Aries]

Hi girls - still here just lurking......... all is ok atm & on track. I just wanted to pop in to say to Beata that I am so excited for you for Tuesday and am wishing you every ounce of luck for the big day! How exciting to meet your little one finally. Will be thinking of you
Chat soon girls

Take care
xoxoxoxox

[Miss.B]

Aries, thanks sweetheart I'm glad everything is on track with you hun and I wish that one day soon I'll be wishing you the same when you're having your own bub! Big hugs and know that you're often on my thoughts, I really pray for a BFP for you hun x

Crumpet, I'm glad you were able to compromise with your DH, that's what it's really all about in a good relationship!

Hello to everyone else, spreading lots of and in here for my lovely friends.

I almost forgot I have to go for this BT before Tuesday, where is my brain

B xxx

[dory]

Beata - thinking of you for tomorrow and beyond.! OMG I am so excited...........

Will be back to write more later.

[dory]

Gigi1 - my heart is with you, particularly now. I was away over the weekend, but will light a candle for your DD tonight.

I hope you are managing ok, and good work for your cousin on being the right person at the right time. Thinking of you. Pity about the funky annoying lttle bacteria/virus. I thought Lymes disease could be caught from ticks. Any rolls in the hay latey? And yes only one more day. I have woken each morning for the past two mornings thinking - this is it! I have to get ready, only to realise today wasn't the day. I am a bit anxious too, but not too much. Worry won't help and what will be will be. Oh, I got to go to the beach. It was divine. It was too much for me to get down the beach to the water, so DH and I just sat and watched the rain squalls move across the bay and how the appearance of the water changed with the changing light. It was pretty rough but relatively calm considering. We even got rained on ourselves. It was awesome.

CharliB - it's so hard. I am sorry that you felt so apart from your friends. It will get easier in time, but for now, you will probably feel apart from family, friends, colleagues and the world at large. It's hard for your friends too, they don't know what to say or do and mostly they are so afraid of upsetting you. Little do they know, you're upset already and are actually pretty good at "this being upset caper". If they are close friends, and if you can, sweetie, talk to them about what you need and how you felt and feel. It will help them be better friends for you.

Crumpet - I know what you mean about being uncertain about how to help others, despite your own experiences. But in order to help others, you have to be strong and mostly healed yourself, don't try to take to much on if the opportunity presents itself. My counsellor says that people in grief are like sponges, they absorp sadness and grief around them. I realised I was doing that too

Chez - sorry about the BFN and that you are glum. Be strong my friend, you can do it.

Cmegelles - how are you going sweetie? First signs of spring around? The tulips flowering? That was one of the most exciting things when I was in the US. It really was a visual reminder of the change of season to come.

[Gigi1]

CharlieB,
I do feel like a totally different person and i think that is normal. I also think it is a good thing. My baby's legacy in a way. Not easy though when dealing with other people. I feel a bit outside their world often enough. It is almost like dealing with a second personality sometimes. I don't think i was ever happy with whether people asked or not. If they did, it was almost always done int he wrong way but i was happy to have her spoken about. If they didn't i was pi55ed that they didn't care enough. Something i learnt very early on was that very few people could get it right and when they did it was like a weight lifted and I could breath. HOpe AF turns up soon hun so you can get started.xx

Crumpet,
Sweet, i often think the same when i comes to other people going through this. I sometimes think i have all the answers and then other times i think i woud be completely useless as everyone's needs different. A million dollar question really. All any of us can do it be honest, loving and compassionate and hope we could be there for soemone else. xoxo

Be back soon