Gi, I'm soooooo sorry AF turned up and I know you were being so positive and please don't stop. I'm feeling for you in a massive way and I hate the universe sometimes because someone as gorgeous as yourself deserves to have 100 kids. Please don't give up hope.
Beata and Dory - so lovely to hear from you guys. Thanks for popping in :-)
And thanks for the congrats guys. I'm not celebrating at all yet. Whilst I've had no bleeding as yet, I'm still getting cramps on and off which freak me out. I've spent most of my time since Monday running to the toilet expecting the worst. It's exhausting checking non stop! I won't feel right til this one is here but it would certainly be nice to make it past a week!!! I did another test this am and the line was stronger and came up immediately before the control line did. Might go to the doc and get 2 blood tests done a couple of days apart just for my peace of mind.
Powelly - peace of mind is important so do what you need to do to try to find it... it can be elusive as you know.... those early days of expecting the worst and ALWAYS checking is just so draining. Be strong. 100 kids..... wowee that's a lot.
Powelly- hang in there hun. You will get through this time of uncertainty...i promise you. My god love 100 kids...what are doing to me. But yes i would love a tribe...universe and finance permitting!
Hang in there hun.
xoxox
Powelly - my fingers are crossed for you!!!! Sending sticky vibes your way!
Baby boys EDD passed by - was so busy. Hubby and I celebrated his short life the night before. Was surprised how quickly and smoothly the day passed.
Was in the shopping centre today and heard a little baby crying and just wanted to hold it....wanted to cry! Funny how you can miss something u haven't even had for very long.
Lollylegs...so true hun. A lot of us find that the lead up to a milestone is often the worst. It hits you before it comes. The actual day is not as bad...sometimes.
I am so glad you got to do something special together hun. I still struggle with babies crying. Especially if there is a lot else going on. I often have to walk out. You did well brave girl. About now...i try to avoid shopping centres as much as i can at this time of year. I thought i would be ok this year...but with recent AF i was in Ikea and as i walked pass the storage area where you pick up what you want. I found myself looking for a place to hide and cry- somewhere no one would see me and hear me. I was so sad. The carols were playing and i thought i was prepared for the christmas onslaught...how wrong was i.
Actually I am quite down at the moment so i better go...don't want to bring you all down with me. xoxoxo Keep going ladies.
Gigi - hunny, I am so sorry to read of your damn AF showing. It really brings the soul down to a new level, one you thought wasnt achievable. I am offering you my light now hun, come be warm here, I have enough for the time being for both of us. and besides.... I might need your light in the next week when my AF shows... haha
Powelly - I am holding myself back for you but sending huge sticky vibes your way. I will give you a congratulations on your bfp even though I know you were dreading testing early cause you would rather not know. Thinking of you, and keep us updated.
I will do some more Personals when I have a bit more time. I have been away and was so desprete to see what what happening in here.
AFM... well I am officially 1 day over, no spotting, sore boobies, althuogh new symptom which I have never had before so close to af being due??? CM very very creamy milky white. No discolouration at all but LOTS of it, which is gross but intriging... LOL so go figure that one out. On top of that I got a bfn yesterday afternoon which kinda wasnt suprising, since there has been so much sickness in the house. Still I suppose it aint over till AF shows is it??? I am testing again with a morning wee. Last month she was 3 days late, no way I will get ahead of myself this time.
Powelly - a very quiet and hopeful congrats from me that this little one sticks for the next 8 months or so
Gigi - so sorry for you hun - I find Christmas very hard as well and both of us don't do well in crowds so you were very brave to go to Ikea with AF. I wish I could reach through the computer and give you the biggest hug. I know your earth baby can't be too far away - maybe 13 will be your lucky number?
Kate - sorry about your BFN hun. It's not over for this year yet though...
Ladytess - I thought you were in for such a great chance with your symptoms... will you test again? Sending loads of stickyvibes your way!
Lollylegs - welcome to our little support group. I am so sorry for your loss. You have passed another milestone having gotten through your baby's EDD. I agree with Gigi, I found the lead up harder than the actual day. It sounds like you remembered your little one in a very special way. Christmas will be the next milestone. We found it quite hard last year and this year I guess it will be different but we will still remember our son and I will think about how he would have been walking about by now... Somehow we find the strength to keep going and I know you will too
Hi to Dory and Beata - as always you are pillars of strength and wisdom. Thanks for being there for us
Hi to Tash, SusieQ and anyone else I have missed.
Last week we had a quick visit to our ob and she did a scan - we saw a beautiful little fluttering heartbeat on the monitor so all is looking good. It is still slowing sinking into my head and my heart. I have two more weeks of work before a month off over Christmas. I can't wait!
Chez - Yes I thought the same thing. I havent tested again this morning, bit sick of seeing that one lonely line. I will give it a day or two. As for you, it is amazing seeing that nice little blob on the screen beating away isnt it??? I am soooo happy for you!!! ((hugs and Sticky Vibes))
GiGi - Trying to keep positive - never had much to begin with this month. ((HUGS))
LollyLegs - I agree with everyone who has mentioned. Although I havent actually experienced a reall EDD as Matthews was only 5 days later. and I cant even think of where my head was back then. I know how you feel about the baby crying in shopping centers. WOW, I have had hubby literally pull me away cause of the anger that was boiling when I saw a mother smack her young baby cause he was crying (he must have been no more than 8- 10 months) I was all ready to march up there and shake the living crap out of her, make her understand what she has in front of her, and what she has been bloody privilidged with. On the other hand I look at babies and think "thats how Matthew would look now"!!! It is so hard, and being in the TTC phase again makes it harder. Cause DAMN IT!!!! We have already been there, we have done the hard yards!!! Sorry rambling now... ((hugs))
Powelly - Would LOVE an update hun.... ((hugs and sticky vibes your way)
Dory - Beata70 - Thank you for the smile on my face, you two girls are a true credit to this thread. Bringing positivity into our lil world. ((hugs))
AFM - today 3 days late, this is when she showed her ugly face last month, so we shall see. If she stays away I will do another test tomorrow morning. Sore boobs have gone, along with the CM. I am guessing it is the clomid doing all of this. I need to find an outlet for this red hot anger I have though, I think of my baby boy and feel love and sadness, which slowly turns to anger for what happened. I have the weirdest things going through my mind, right down to "maybe I am starting menopause early???" I know its silly but I have nothing else. I hate the fact that I am more and more coming to terms with not holding another earth side baby that I can call my own. I know I am not "too old" but maybe he was it. He was my last chance??? I dont know...
Chez- how wonderful for you hun, to see that heartbeat and feel that joy again. I bet it was a 'hold your breath' moment and now you can day by day come to terms with the fact that this is really happening. This baby is coming. So thrilled for you sweet. You deserve the world. xoxoxo
Tess- I used to get really really angry. I still do once in a while but less often than before. I would want to scream at people...lash out. I have also had the irrational thoughts of 'maybe i am going through menopause' too. What are we like hey??!! I can't blame my probs on old eggs yet...i had plenty of opps earlier in my life to fall pregnant and never did too. I am sure it is the clomid playing with your body hun. I have had friends really struggle with symptoms for that stuff. I am hopeful that Matthew was not your last child. You will have another, i am sure. xoxo
Well it is in the next couple of days that you will find out hun. Good idea to wait another day. I am still so hopeful for you sweet. I hope this is it and you get a sweped off your feet with surprise! xoxoxoxo Thinking of you and sending you hope. xoxoxo
Sorry for being MIA - it's been a crazy week (that feels like a year!!!)
Lady-Tess - don't give up hope yet, not until AF shows her ugly face. I know that anger all too well, and you have to feel it and have those moments. Make sure you let it out, then you can re-group, re-gather and find that inner strength to keep going. Don't give up the dream (that goes for you too Gi!).
Chez - that must have been amazing. How far along are you and when is your due date? So glad it's all going well and it's a scary ride but stay positive.
Lollylegs, you did amazingly well getting past the edd and well done, that's an amazing milestone, and a really hard one at that. I agree that the lead up is the worst part. Good on you for being so strong.
Well as for me, as I said above, it's been a crazy week - I feel like I'm in some weird world where minutes feel like hours and days like weeks! I'm only 5 weeks today but thankfully the cramps have died down and I had two blood tests two days apart and whilst the results fall "within normal ranges", I got a bit freaked because they are on the lowish side. On Thurs it was 329 and Sat it was 590. The doc denied me an early scan saying it wasn't necessary. I wonder if he had two miscarriages in a row if he would think the same!!! I'm going to organise one through another doc because I'd rather not stress for the next 7 weeks!
Powelly- you do what you need hun. This is about you and your comfort...good idea to see another doc. So good to hear from you sweet and know you are doing well. xoxoxo
Sorry I have been MIA. Had a total melt-down after the BFN. Feels like it's so unfair.
Powelly- A quiet and hopeful hug and hope from me to you. Let this one stick. Go easy on yourself and go gently into the world.
Gigi- You are the most amazing brave person Thanks for your constant kind words. Perhaps 2011 will be the year for both of us.
Tess- Those tests aren't always right. Keep hope.
Chez- I'm so excited for you to have seen your bub. May that fluttering heart beat it's way into the world next year.
Lollylegs- I am sorry you had to go through the EDD of your baby. When my baby died it was after her EDD as she was 41 weeks. I struggle enough with the thought of mothers day, fathers day, Xmas and her birth/angel day. I don't think I could cope with another date to think of.
It's so hard for me at the moment. This time last year I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of my first child. I was in a shop yesterday trying to do some Xmas shopping. There was a very pregnant woman there talking to the shop assistant about decorating her nursery just like I had done last year. She was totally confident her baby would arrive, just like I was this time last year. I felt like screaming at her to not be so naive and that she didn't know her baby would arrive.......I had to leave the shops and go home. I am doing all the normal xmas stuff like I did last year but I am just "doing it" not getting involved.
Thanks for all the support here.
Kate
Oh Kate. All I can say is big hugs to you. I remember that awful pain oh too well and it's not fair and yes, people are naive until they suffer a tragedy. I still get insanely jealous/angry/annoyed at naive pregnant people, even though it's not their fault. Sorry I can't offer more, but I just wanted to give you a gigantic hug and say I'm sorry.
Powelly I just wanted to tell you something that many people have told me about HCG levels - you can't compare yourself to others. Some have high & some low levels but it doesn't mean anything. It's just the way they are. That's why the range for dates is so large. Are you getting your progesterone checked as well? I hope you get scan to give you some peace of mind. Thinking of you hun.
Kateo I understand you exactly. I was there about 6 months ago wanting to tell a very pg girl from work that there were still hurdles ahead of her but as much as I wanted to I couldn't say anything. Thankfully it all went well for her. If only we could all have been so fortunate.
Lady Tess hope you're going ok.
Gigi you're such an amazing woman. I hope that your earth baby is close. I love what you're doing for your DD this Christmas. You're strength inspires me.
AFM. 7 weeks now. Still early days but the worries and fears are strong. Every day I wonder whether our baby is ok. And apart from getting bts done each day I have to believe that he/she is. Some days are harder than others. I wonder when I will shake off these worries &replace them with optimism?
Chez - I am just so very thrilled that your scan went well.... OMG... talk about hold your breath moment. My heart truly sings with joy... I am with you every step of the way. This journey will be hard, so very hard at times.
Kateo - I hear you. It's hard to burst their niave bubble hey? And maybe they will be the lucky one that never has to know this pain... half their luck? Go gently, this is a tough time of year.
Powelly - go get that early scan sweet.
Suz - boy do I miss you. Hugs.
Lolly- hiya.... looking forward to getting to know you.
Beata - give Cam a massive hug for me. Are you still going to China? I have been out of the loop....
Gi - you are such a brave soul my dear.... I have searched for places to hide and cry too, in all sorts of places. More recently though, I only hide if I think I am going to howl, apart from that, people can just wonder about why I have tears streaming down my face. And you know, most people won't even ask. Crazy times huh? Sometimes I despair at humanity, and then I come here. You never bring me down, EVER. Hugs.
Registered User
Bookmarks