Yes yes yes, that would be great Dory. I have often had the very same thoughts but then also thought it was not possible.
Look at you...changing the world already, i love it!
Powelly, HI!! It has been a while. Thank you for your words sweety, you are just so lovely. I do feel much stronger at the moment and it blows my mind too how one can hit such depths and manage to come back. When you are down there it often feels like it could never happen. Thankful for the miracles of the human heart, mind, body and soul to heal- no matter what the path.
LnD, I am quietly so so happy you have made this decision. You know me, the hippy, go with the flow kind of girl. You have so much going on right now. I have such faith in you to be able to handle anything that comes your way but i also worry for you that the load can be too much for anyone. Good on you as i know this must have been a very difficult decision to make.
I hope hope hope that this is the perfect path for you and you get a big surprise. It will be a chllenge to let go a bit, but i bet you do it easier than you think. xoxox It will take time hun. Good Luck and this post has just filled my heart. You have such strength. Heal my friend and find yourself all over again. xoxo Thinking of you tomorrow.
Dory, bathroom happening but very slowly. I promise to do something on it today. I am trying to take the tiles out of there so very slowly to avoid tile dust throughout the bedroom. So i am removing some and then letting the settle, then removing more. We are getting there. xoxo
Hi girls! how are we all?
Lysndan, i like ur decisioin hun, u can alway do it for 6 months and if nothing happens then come back to actively TTC, hopefully it happens for u though.
not much going on here CD...something, not 100% sure, all i knows is we'll be doing some seeerious BDing aroung the 10th
quiet weekend, oldest has gastro, ewwww. cant handle big kid spew, give me milk possets anyday!
Just popping my head in because we are going to be ttc in a couple of months. Dr said wait 6 months after c section but we are going to try after 3 especially with my ovulation issue so here's hoping af comes back very soon
Just thought I'd say hi
Last edited by Ahurani; April 3rd, 2011 at 04:04 PM.
Hi Everyone - (too many to remember lol) Clomid round 2 starts today, let the mood swings begin (actually I don't think they ever stopped!) Even one of my friends commented very carefully that she had noticed I was "More snappy than usual" How embarrassing.. Whoops!! Blame the clomid!
Powelly, hi nice to hear from you. Hope all is going well.
LnD, sounds like a very sensible decision and I know from experience that making decisions with your head rather than following your heart is particularly difficult. I hope that you get a nice little surprise very soon as we found when we fell pg with our DS, it was when we weren't trying and had essentially given up for the year. FX for you for today.
Dory, the confrontation with the snake must have been a bit scarey at the time, but you're right it was probably more scared of you both! Good on you for getting back to the running, it is something that I always enjoyed, but definitely not running around in circles! I always needed a destination or a route to follow to keep things interesting.
Gi, so glad to hear that everything went well with your SIL. I hope the naturopath is onto some good things for you. GL with the bathroom reno. Talk about a project to keep you busy! And I am sure you will be able to convince the body corp about the guide dog. Surely one neighbour's objection can't stop it?
Ahurani, hi and welcome to our thread. I hope your stay here is a short one. I don't know much about your story but I know that the ladies here are a wonderful source of support and strength so you have come to the right place.
Blessed, GL with the clomid hun. I did one cycle and didn't have any mood issues but I did get heaps of headaches with it. I hope it works for you.
To everyone else I have missed, a big hello and baby dust to all.
AFM, 24 weeks today so we can quietly let out a sigh of relief. If bubs was born soon then there would be some chance of survival. When I was in hospital at 22 weeks I was told that the baby was not viable if born then. Still we are hoping that splodge will hang quite a bit longer but it is another milestone for us. This is my second week of 'bed rest'. It is hard with hubby still not having the full use of his left wrist/hand. I am taking things easy but it is such a beautiful sunny autumn day here I might go out for a short walk around the block. I have managed to trial ironing while sitting down and its not too bad. I have my next uni assignment due on 15th so that will keep me busy. I am so glad that this is my last subject as I can't imagine trying to study while looking after a baby!
yay for 24 weeks chez!! thats so awesome hun.
Hi A, good to see u in here babe
Hey BAL, hope u had a great weekend
hi too everyone else, hope this week is kind to u all
xxxx
Blessed - yay for cycle #2 of clomid... girl, we'll love you regardless of the mood swings in here..... hey did you end up having a drink at your friends going away?
Chez - oh sweetie, I am so very pleased for you.... it is such a significant milestone to reach 24 weeks, to know there is some hope if bubs arrives prem is just such a weight lifted. I remember we particularly celebrated reaching it. Well done. Good work on the ironing too. A little easy walk to life your spirits... good idea. The snake encounter did get my heart racing that's for sure.
Gi - I have an insane urge to type the following " run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the ginger bread man"... and I have no idea why. I do like gingerbread though. ? I am losing it for sure.
Ahurani - welcome sweetie. It's so nice to see you pop your head in and start officially thinking about TTC. Hayley would be so proud. Sometimes Dr's don't have all the answers... do what it is in your heart..... I hope your AF comes quickly and is kind to you.... and as sad as it is, it's also the start of something exciting.
Skybie - love the pic of your darling boy, Jack. He looks so handsome. Look at his shock of dark hair... what a gorgeous little man. Hope DD is feeling better now?
AFM - wow wee, talk about moody... on saturday I was just so grumpy and cranky... not sure why poor DH couldn't put a foot right in the arvo. And we had a tiff because we were both tired and stressed, but pleased to say we worked out it pretty quickly too. Gold star for us. We've never been good a resolving things quickly before, so hopefully we are both learning some new approaches to manage conflict. Then yesterday, all teary for no particular reason I could fathom.
I went to see my counselor on Friday and as usual it was awesome. Interestingly I cried more this time than any other time. We spent a lot of time talking about Nicholas, which was nice as frequently his sisters manage to steal the limelight, so it was really nice just getting in touch with our baby boy and remembering.
I was showing my SIL some of the photos from the memorial service that we had in Feb this year, and there was a photo of the 3 plaques.... she looked at them really carefully and went quiet and then said " I never realised about the dates... you must just hate 2009". That's what I love about this ever changing grief journey, always the unexpected ..... her question made me realise I didn't hate 2009 at all, and in fact it is a very precious time for me. But isn't it nice to have that at the forefront of my mind and to know it with my heart?
Anyway, should go and do some reading for my new role.... whilst all is quiet. Including 3 fur babies curled up beside me, one of whom is snoring really loudly.
Hi
I have never posted online in any type of forum before so I hope I am doing it right. My husband and I lost our beautiful son on the 8/4/2011. Words cannot describe how I felt when at my 27 week check up no heart beat could be found.
As it has only been 2 weeks today I know it is too early to TTC but I just cant stop thinking about how desperately I need to try again.
I would love to get to know the other women on here and hope to chat to some of you soon.
EmilyJames - I am so sorry you lost your precious boy Welcome to BB I'm sorry it was tragic circumstances that brought you here. I am sure you will find loads of support, as unfortunately many of us have gone down this road
Dory - Anymore mad stabs in the dark??
Gigi - It is definitely hard to hear pregnancy announcements from your family. That feeling of being jealous as hell, but happy for them aswell. It'ss hard to manage..
Hi to Mummydreamer, Tashybabe, MissB and anyone else I have missed.
AFM - I have updated in the clomid thread a while ago saying that once again my r'ship is very unstable, however being the sucker that I am, he romanced me with a nice ocean view room, dinner and champagne and it just so happened to be last w'end right on O!!!! Considering I didn't want to waste my clomid cycle, it was perfect timing, (although probably not the most responsible thing to do)
Anyway I am 6DPO today and going for my day 21 progesterone test this morning.. Sure enough I have been dreaming about breastfeeding a baby. Happens every month in the TWW I have noticed! It's awful to wake up and feel like your boobs should be full and your baby should be there
Things apart from that are up and down, I hate this time of the year with Easter and Mothers day, I haven't been able to sleep and I have been working every day.. On a good note though, I have a job interview in 2 weeks for a hospital's grad program. There aren't many places so i really have to make an impression! So wish me luck!
thanks everyone. still getting there day by day, gah i hate it sometimes i'd like to think the emptiness will leave me one day, but i have a funny feeling i'm always going to be feeling empty.......
LynsDan congratulations!!!! that's awesome, how exciting. wish you all the best for your journey
Kateo - yeh i think i know you too Lol. look forward to seeing you around!
EmilyJames, i am so sorry for your loss i hope you find a lot of support from this forum, i know i have.
Hiya - I get so frustrated when I get left behind in here.... just done a quick catch up and I know I don't have the stamina to do a lot of persies....sorry.
EmilyJane - oh blossom I am so so so sorry that your precious James couldn't stay and has gone too soon... I know these days are hard as you grieve your darling boy. This is a really lovely thread - very supportive and understanding, it has been one of my lifelines. Whilst all our journey's are different, we have walked a similar lonely, painful path... so feel free to come in and just express how you feel - sadness, anger, guilt.
About trying again? For me that is a relatively complicated question. After Amelia, even before we were discharged from hospital, we both wanted to TTC. Not to replace Amelia, no- one could ever do that. And don't listen to people when they say that to you either, and they will say it. It makes me angry actually when people do. They just don't understand. What happened was that after Amelia we knew the absolute miracle that birthing a baby is and quite frankly I became addicted to that. I wanted that glorious love and amazing sensation again, the knowledge that we had created a beautiful perfect being. Bittersweet, that our babygirl was born too early and died. Our Obs gave us the all clear to start again. So we did. It was right for us and we were lucky enough to get a BFP soon. After Nicholas died, we couldn't try again as he was one of a twinship. After Sophie died, I knew TTC wasn't right for us. Not "right away". I think we waited 3 or 4 months. Also had a lot of investigations to see what might have caused our heartache. At the time it seemed like an eternity. Makes me smile a little now, thinking it was an eternity. I just knew I needed to heal, physically and emotionally. Again we were lucky and got a BEFP relatively quickly- and this BFP resulted in our Hannah Bear.
I remember Gigi gave me some advice about just being with your angel baby. It was good advice. You will know when it's right for you. It takes courage to TTC again. It's tough and so is the pregnancy that follows.
After the death of your child during a pregnancy, everything is hard. Just breathing is hard some days.... still. There is so much more I could write, but I need to go to sleep. Sorry.
Writing about your pregnancy and the birth of your precious James will probably help, as will writing about your grief. In time what you write now will be so important. As much as we don't want to forget every detail, some do get forgetten, so if you've written them down now it will help. I often go back and read what I have written. It helps me remember. It helps me get back in touch with my very raw grief, which even though is hard, is one of the only tangible connections I have to my angels. So every so often I make myself delve back into the pain, to be close to them.
Go gently in this very tough time. Fly free sweet precious James, much loved wee one. I would love to read about your journey to meet James.
Gi - you know I've been thinking of you. Sorry that the easter bunny brought AF. The easter bunny brought Hannah gastro. Poor wee girl. I think the easter bunny needs a talking to!
I'll be back tomorrow I hope to catch up.
Chez - thinking of you....how are you doing?
Tashy - hugs, I know it's hard. You can do it. Honestly you can. I believe in you.
Blessed - is your course all done now? OMG - I just noticed your sig.... is it true? UTD? A BFP? Now I get to go to sleep with a smile on my face.... thankyou sweetie. Thankyou so much.
in between solictors and the health commissoner prodding into our case about Matthew. I was ready to swear up and down and black and blue that I did not ovulate this month. Went of the clomid about January so we have been having a "break" organised a new lot of Clomid to start this coming month, woke with Cramping yesterday. it felt like ovulation cramps, but I wasnt due for AF till today.
Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to test with a Ovulation Pee Stick thingy, peed and realised soon after that it was a pregnancy stick and went into my bedroom drawers to get an ovulation stick... (as I had peed in a cup) on my return I spotted those precious 2 lines..... I was dumbstruck. I fell to the floor and bawled my eyes out for what seemed to be an eternity. Immediantly (thank god for iphones) I took a picture of the test and sent it to a girlfriend who confirmed she could see 2 lines.
We have done it... Although I have worries very very early. I still have cramping and spotting when I wipe (which is just new today) tomorrow is my appt with my GP to have a blood test and an Ultrasound later in the afternoon. I am so scared about what they will find. I have almost convinced myself it was implanation bleed as today is my due date for AF.
BTW I had confirmed with a more expensive Pee stick test last night... 2 lines showed right away. Then for fun I peed on 5 cheapos... haha all showing healthy lines.
Yet I am not sure how mentally I would handle loosing even a 5 week old fetus... we have been trying for simply forever.
I will come back with personals when I get back from my appointment tomorrow with news......
Fingers crossed ok?
editing to say please ignore my sig..... 7dpo is wrong....
Gigi, sorry I missed your DD's special day. I hope you had a peaceful and loving day with DH
Blessed and lady_tess - congratulations to you both. I hope you have H&H 9 months ahead!
LND, sorry to hear that AF arrived. Hope you're doing ok.
EmilyJane, welcome to our thread. You have come to the right place for support. The ladies in here are amazing.
Hi to Dory, kateo, MissB, mummydreamer, skybie and everyone else.
AFM, 28 weeks today, which is another milestone for us. Still recovering from a nasty head cold I picked up last week but doing ok. I am so OVER my uni subject, I have two more assessment pieces to go so I am trying to find motivation wherever I can. The major motivator is that this assignment I am doing now is worth 45% of the total mark so I had better put in a good effort. So back to the books.
so here's hoping af comes back very soon
(actually I don't think they ever stopped!) Even one of my friends commented very carefully that she had noticed I was "More snappy than usual" How embarrassing.. Whoops!! Blame the clomid!
that's awesome, how exciting. wish you all the best for your journey 
Still trying to work this out! 
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