Life is cruel, and i am not the only one to suffer. Just doesn't make it any easier. i felt good the other day when one of my old friends told me she had a litle boy. I was really truly happy for her. i didn't think i would be happy to hear news like that ever again. And its nice seeing the girls in here having babies, so that makes it all a bit easier to cope too. But i am sad coz i am not being a very good auntie and its not my nephews fault or his mums, its just life. But even when i tried to see him, i would just get upset. is it bad to be putting my feelings first? Or should i be able to just be happy that they arn't going through the turmoil that i am. I know that is a better way of looking at it, but its hard to put it in action.

i wish i was in sydney, its sounds like you are all going to be having a great lunch!!