Introduction...Hi to all :hello:

[Sonni]

Hi everyone

I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Sonni, I am 29 y/o. I gave birth to my Son Sebastian, last year (2006) on the 22nd June. He was stillborn at 39 weeks with no found cause.

My partner and I have decided to think about ttc our 2nd child soon and I am very scared, excited, nervous, happy, terrified, anxious ect.

This time last year, I couldnt even consider the prospect of coming to one of these websites but now, here I am enjoying and researching as much as I can.

I still dont feel compleately comfortable posting on other threads as I know most people just wont understand. I am so glad I have found somewhere I can come to express my fear and joy.

My heart goes out to all of you and your angels. I am looking forward to knowing you and sharing this experience with you.

Sonni

[rosehannah]

Hi Sonni, welcome to BB, I'm sorry to hear of your loss I can only imagine how terrible a time that must have been for you and your partner. I'm pleased you found BB as there are heaps of supportive people here from all walks of life. I hope you can find comfort and lots of helpful information for the next stage in your life. All the best for the future, I look forward to seeing you around.

[Mel1977]

Hi Sonni,

Firstly, can I say im so sorry to read about Sebastian I feel so heartbroken whenever I hear about angel baby. The TTC journey is extremely difficult after losing a baby and I am so glad you have found your way here, I hope it helps you through the ups and downs.

My son was also stillborn, at 36w1d in September '06. Sadly there are many women here who can understand the pain of losing the most irreplaceable thing in the world --- a child. I also find myself feeling the way you do in thinking that most people dont, and cant, understand the pain and it does make it difficult to know where to turn, but I have found immense support and good friends here. They have helped me get through the mixed emotions of the life we live, happy, sad, angry, numb, scared, etc... you know how it is.

I that your TTC journey is a short one. There is a very special guardian angel watching over his Mummy and Daddy and I am sure he will give you a helping hand :hugs:

Look forward to seeing you around.

Mel

[Katiegirl]

Hi Sonni. Welcome to BB. I hope you find support and comport here. I am sorry for the loss of your baby Sebastian. It must be very difficult for you to lose your baby in such a way and still have no answers - I can only say that I am so sorry and I understand your pain. I lost my first baby Nathaniel at 20 weeks in December. Life will never be the same again for any of us.

Good luck on your TTC journey. I think we are all courageous for taking this next step - and you are right it is exciting but scary at the same time. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are going. It is so exciting when one of us gets a BFP.

Take care and big hugs to you.

[Auntie M]

howdy Sonni. i am so sorry for your loss of Sebastian. i wish i had some wise words that would ease your pain about his death. although i sincerely wish that no one ever had to feel this pain again, it does help so much to have a community of folks who know what one is feeling. the support i have found here at bb helped me through some dark times in my grief, through our ttc, and now that i am trying to figure out how to stay sane in this subsequent pregnancy.

i too had my first son, Yeti, born still at 39 weeks. although we have an answer, his cord had wrapped around his neck and cut off his supply of oxygen, the pain and questions about why this happened persist. now they have translated into questions about whether it will happen again. this grief journey is a tortuous path, and it helps to know what others have gone through or are going through.

i wish you and your partner a short ttc, and an uneventful pregnancy with a live baby at the end. welcome to this group of amazing women, and big hugs to you. m

[Anthonysmom]

sonni - let me also welcome you. I wish none of us ever had the reason to come together in a place such as this, BUT BB is a wonderful place and it has helped me with losing my son Anthony more than you can imagine. I also never had answers as to why my son's heart stopped beating. I pray your TTC is a short journey followed by a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Barbara

[water_lily80]

Hi Sonni - your story is heartbreaking as are all of those who have lost precious bubs . You are right, it is so nice to have a place where people have been through the same sort of thing and understand what it is like. Noone I knew had ever had a m/c let alone a late loss. I know how hard it is to contemplate TTC and then the worries of the subsequent pg. But the little darling bub is worth all the worry and heartache in the end!!!
Best of luck TTC, hope everything goes well for you.

[Sonni]

Hi ladies,

I hope you are all well. I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and for welcoming me

Well this week is our first go at TTC. I am going crazy waiting to do a HPT. How soon can I give it a shot??? I just want a nice big glass of bubbley to calm my nerves but I'm paranoid that it could do something bad, so I'll just try and focus on looking for an ob to take my mind of things.

That is another thing I am having trouble with. I would like to go to Francis Perry House but I have no idea who to choose for my ob. Has anyone got any recomendations of obs who are understanding and proffesional for a sub pregnancy after stillbirth. I feel like I should have decided on one before ttc but most of my friends think I'm nuts for even worrying about it before I get a BFP.

I'm sorry for my scattiness but I'm going nuts atm as you can probably tell. Anyhow, thank you all again for everything

[Auntie M]

Sonni- i hope your tww flies by and has a great result. myself, i'd go for a little bubbly, it might be your last glass for a very long time! my theory is that the little bub isn't implanted yet, so how can it share in the bubbly at this point? no medical knowledge base, but it is my two cents. i've no idea on docs in australia, but i'm sure others will give you an idea. there is a conversation thread in this section that you may wish to try out, or pop into the pregnancy after late loss conversation if you feel up to it. good luck!

[Mel1977]

Hi Sonni,

First of all for some good news very soon... if you were going to ask someone sane when to start testing they would say wait until after AF is due, but on the otherhand if you were going to ask someone crazy (like me ) they would say as soon as you feel like it - but just be prepared it is possible to get a negative if testing early.

Re the ob, after Nicholas I went in search of a high risk ob and came across Mark Umstad who happens to only deliver at Frances Perry House. He is a god send and I am so thankful to have him on my side. His staff are lovely, he is lovely, he never makes me feel like the crazy person I am and he always take my concerns seriously - no matter how stupid or insignificant. I highly recommend him if you want to give him a call, his number is 9221 5044, and make an appointment, even just to find out your own opinion (I am confident it will be similar to mine ).

Good luck, and let us know how you go this cycle And as Auntie M suggested, hope to see you in the pregnancy thread soon.

p.s. Mods, if im not allowed to give his number I apologise - I just couldnt PM the details so hoped you wouldnt mind.

[Lynn]

Sonni, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son Sebastian It is absolutely devastating to hear that another bub has grown its wings too soon. I'm glad that you have found us here as this is a wonderful place to get lots of support.

I lost my first son Cooper in Nov 06 at 37 weeks, he was born with the cord tightly around his neck. Like Auntie M, I have an answer as to why I lost Cooper but I still ask why, and how.

I hope the 2ww goes fast for you and at the end you are given the magical news of a bfp Good luck