Lynn - I am so sorry you are going through this What a stupid woman! Spring is right, surely they can tell the difference between a follicle and a cyst! It must be so hard for you, if only they had have told you all the way through that nothing was happening - it would have still been hard to deal with but at least you werent expecting something that wasnt happening. I really hope your FS can tell you what you can do from here. Do you know if maybe he just needs to up your dose of clomid or something? Sorry probably a stupid question...
Take care of yourself and let me know if you need anything :hugs:
Deb - Im sorry it isnt your month this month I hope you are doing ok and know that we are all here for you.
Bailey - I havent resisted the urge, I have tested every day for the last couple of days (see below). I still have my fingers crossed for you this month. You must be getting so excited about your holiday
Spring - Wow you sound like you have had a busy day, you must be buggered! Glad you got to see DH even if only for a short time, I can imagine how hard it is to leave without him.
Nat - Hope you are well.
tommysmum - Welcome to the thread. Sorry you have to be here, but I hope you can find some support with us.
OK well as for me, I have been testing and I have gotten all BFNs! Considering I am due for AF on Sunday I think we can now safely say that I am not pregnant AGAIN! What is wrong with me? It is making me so angry and I am so frustrated. Everyone else seems to fall without even trying but I so desperately want to be pregnant and it has been almost 7 months since we lost Nicholas. 7 months of being a childless mother, 7 months of living my life hoping and waiting to be pregnant, every decision I make in life now is based around I will be pregnant "soon".... well "soon" has been and gone a thousand times now and quite frankly it is not fair. We have been trying so hard and I would give up anything I have in life just to get a BFP and I cant get it. What the hell do I have to do? How many other positions can we try? How much longer do we have to wait? To be perfectly honest, I dont know if I can keep doing this I feel like I keep getting nowhere in life and it has been so long and my life just wont move forward, and the stress is too much. People say relax and it will happen... how can I relax when we have been trying for all this time and nothing is happening? I stress that something is wrong! I stress that it is never going to happen! I stress that I will not be having a live baby in 2007 like I had planned! I stress about whether there is something wrong with me! I stress about what if Nicholas was and always will be my only child! I stress about whether we are doing it enough! I stress about whether we are doing it too much! I stress about whether we are doing it in the right position! I stress about whether I have elevated my a*** for long enough after! I stress about stressing cause I know it is probably the reason I am not getting pregnant
DH is having his sperm test tomorrow and I have my Levovist next Thursday - where do we go if they are all normal? I have an appointment with an infertility specialist on 15 May but I dont think I cant wait that long mentally - I know I sound like a spoilt child but I WANT IT NOW!!!!! I think I have waited long enough!!!!!!
I so wish that stupid girl who posted a reply to one of my threads all those months ago and told me "I should just think myself lucky I can get pregnant" could read this now cause I would really like to tell her to F*** OFF!!!!
Anyway sorry but I really needed to vent all of that.
Mel
Last edited by Mel1977; March 30th, 2007 at 10:42 PM.
: sorry wrote bfp instead of bfn
Yeah I am here and I am ok, wasnt on last night cause we had some dramas with our bird and had to take him to the vet but anyway... long story!
Daily injections sound awful But you do what you have to do right? I remember when I thought I was going to need daily injections until they got the new antibody levels back which said they werent as high as they originally thought, I was thinking it would be awful but I would have done anything.
I kind of know what you mean about your body not doing what it should, I know we are in different situations and I know it must be harder for you because you cant make the plans cause of things not working properly, but as stupid as it sounds I sort of feel that way about my own body. Yes, I am ovulating and everything - but where is that getting me?
Anyway, I really do hope your FS can give you some answers and some hope... where are we without hope? Its what gets us through the days
Well I am going to go off and feel sorry for myself and you now
Last edited by Mel1977; March 30th, 2007 at 10:56 PM.
Lynn - I never even thought of talking to Dr Nat, I am sure she was able to give you lots of info. I hope today is a better day for you
Just wanted to let you sydney gals know that in todays Daily Telegraph there is an article on stillbirth on page 86. Mel, if you like, I can post you a copy, email me your address and I can copy it at work today and send it down.
Off to get ready for work, so will come in later, have a good day everyone.
Hi again, was just about to go when I saw Lynn and Mel's post's.
Mel - You have every right to be stressed and upset about this. Is there anyway you can get into the FS earlier than that, or try another one? Even if you try going down to their office and have a tantrum in the waiting room till they squeeze you in there somewhere?
I still have my fingers crossed for you and am hoping with everything that you get that BFP tomorrow.
Lynn - I just wanted to say that I have that same thing as you with the baby-by-christmas. I am really sad that I won't have a baby by then too. I just always imagined that I would fall first go (bit too optimistic) and that this christmas will so much better than the first and I have been struggling with that the last few days since I really started to realise I won't get that BFP this month. It is hard letting that go. I hope you are feeling a little better today, and hopefully the specialist can give you some proper answers next week. just a thought though, is it possible that the original u/s was right and there was follie's and that the second sonographer is wrong? Were both u/s's at the same place?
I just feel so useless when I try to support you guys and encourage you to get that magical BFP because I haven't had that struggle. Sorry if I just can't be what I need to be for you but I am trying my hardest.
Mel: I agree with Bailey, you shouldn't have to wait until May. Is there any way you can get in earlier? If not, can you get a referral to a different specialist just so that you can get things moving? I can't even imagine how much stress this is causing you. It would be impossible to relax and that isn't really useful advice, this isn't about relaxing, it is about having an earth baby. I hope that DH's test today goes well. How long do you have to wait for the results? What is the Levovist test that you are having? I know you are searching for reasons and I totally understand why you are exploring every option. I just can't tell you how badly I want for you not to have to be going through this.
Lynn: I don't know what to say about this Christmas. There is nothing I can say to make it better. I remember last Christmas DH and I didn't see a soul, we had toast for lunch and spent the day curled up in bed sobbing. I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy. I can understand why you are looking in the future towards Christmas, it is a major milestone and a day that will never really be the same without our babies. But try not to torment yourself. Just try to look at to each day as an acomplishment in itself. Otherwise if we look to far ahead, this journey just seems to long and too painful. I don't know if what I am trying to say is coming out right. I just mean that you are showing so much courage getting through each day so that in itself is massive. I hope that you have a gourgeous little bub growing in your belly or better still, in your arms by Christmas.
Bailey: I am so sorry hun that you are not hopeful for a BFP this month. I had a look at your ticker though and if the days in pink are the days you O'd, then is it still to early for a bfp? As I said to Lynn above, I wish I had the words to make it all better but every time I try to say what is in my heart, I feel like my words fail me. I am so sorry that you feel you won't have a bub in your arms this Christmas, but I am not going to give up hope for you until the witch arrives.
I am just so sad for each of you, you don't deserve to be suffering more pain then you already have. I am sending a huge cloud of to each of you.
What a stupid woman! Spring is right, surely they can tell the difference between a follicle and a cyst! It must be so hard for you, if only they had have told you all the way through that nothing was happening - it would have still been hard to deal with but at least you werent expecting something that wasnt happening. I really hope your FS can tell you what you can do from here. Do you know if maybe he just needs to up your dose of clomid or something? Sorry probably a stupid question...
I feel like I keep getting nowhere in life and it has been so long and my life just wont move forward, and the stress is too much. People say relax and it will happen... how can I relax when we have been trying for all this time and nothing is happening? I stress that something is wrong! I stress that it is never going to happen! I stress that I will not be having a live baby in 2007 like I had planned! I stress about whether there is something wrong with me! I stress about what if Nicholas was and always will be my only child! I stress about whether we are doing it enough! I stress about whether we are doing it too much! I stress about whether we are doing it in the right position! I stress about whether I have elevated my a*** for long enough after! I stress about stressing cause I know it is probably the reason I am not getting pregnant 
But you do what you have to do right? I remember when I thought I was going to need daily injections until they got the new antibody levels back which said they werent as high as they originally thought, I was thinking it would be awful but I would have done anything.
for each of you, you don't deserve to be suffering more pain then you already have. I am sending a huge cloud of 
to each of you.
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