TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the first trimester Sept '07

**klee** · September 18th, 2007, 08:30 AM

morning ladies, just a short one from me, so much going on, just want to update you on what the go is with me so if i disappear in the next few days you'll know why. ok so still no af, tested on sunday morn got a very faint line on a 10 miu (or whatever they are) test, tested again this morning and the line was darker than sundays but still not overly dark. don't send the jumping green fellas yet, we have decided to wait until friday to test with a better test, because going off opk results af should be due friday, might continue with the 10 miu's until then. also going to organise a dr appointment for friday just in case. okay just need to breathe and relax. also just need all the sticky vibes I can get
mel, kat, judy, jo, ellie,thinking of you all and big hugs to everyone
mel thinking of you this morning, let me know what he says

**jlk** · September 18th, 2007, 09:09 AM

Hey all!

Firstly Klee - sending you heaps of baby dust & sticky vibes

Also Happy 7 months b'day to little Phoebe for yesterday!!

Kat - DH has nerve damage due to his type 1 diabeties, the semen actually travels backwards into his bladder instead of where it is supposed to go, I don't mind the humor, as you say we do need some humour in our attemts, just as long as I don't tell DH cos understandably he dosen't find it funny at all!

Mel - good to see you back, where are you up to with your IVF?

Hi to everyone else!

**~StarBright~** · September 18th, 2007, 11:17 AM

Hi everyone!!

KLEE i am still having trouble containing myself for you- i beleive this is all pointing to a great outcome!! But i will try very hard to hold it all in until you are ready to jump for joy! I am sending you sticky baby vibes all the way! I really beleive that you deaserve it, especially right now with all the stuff going on for you this past few weeks. What a way to celebrate your engagement!! I can only imagine how your emotions are at the moment- you may have the "crazy lady stick" for as long as you need it!!
I have to do some work now, but i will be back later!!

for you!!
from katti

**angelicdragon** · September 18th, 2007, 11:54 AM

Klee OMG that is so great and with AF not even due til Friday. excited and great anticipation here for you... are you allowed to post pics here on BB or can you put pics in the gallery section? I am a bit of a POAS-a-holic here and like seeing pics... a friend in Birmigham and Ijoke about POAS on twigs if we run out of hpts or opks simply to fuel the obsession. Well lets face it I haven't had any lines on my tests in nearly a year now so I have to get my fix of lines somehow. rofl

AuntyM I grew up with Star Trek, yeah the one with William Shatner. We are now into the Stargate SG1 and Atlantis although have to get them from the internet as out local TV stations put them on after midnight and not regularly either. Did you ever watch Farscape or Firefly?
How are you feeling? Do you get/have morning sickness?

Kat I had to laugh about the footy club lol. What a way to let your hair down.. or in this case.. off!!! I hope it kept your mind occupied for a few hours at least. I have to get out in the garden to keep my mind not 100% on TTC.

Jo has anyone mentioned IVF then? I have two friends who are pg following needle aspiration of the sperm and then IVF. One is pg with twin girls and the other has her little boy and he is about to turn 1. It may just be an option to look at if he is producing sperm but not able to expel them in the right direction.

Mel I echo the others.. where are you up to with the IVF? I get lost easy on vBulletin boards lol esp when it rolls over to a new thread and I don't post straight away to mark my spot lol.

Hi to Ellie and Lynn and anyone else I have missed. It has taken me ages to writ thi swith many interruptions.. school holidays down here lol
CD9 and whacky temps and no lines on an OPK.. can I blame the lack of vitex? The headache started 4 days ago and i ran out on 10dpo so I am going to blame the vitex for everything. I ordered some more online so hope it will be here soon. The only difference is blackmores is 660mg tablets and I was taking 2 each morning whereas goldenglow is 1000mg one a day capsule. I guess I'll just see how it works/compares.
hugs
Judy

**klee** · September 18th, 2007, 01:26 PM

kat - calm down honey, like i said before, don't get jumping too early, lol you crack me up, so did the guys in your pub yesterday, crack being the operative word lol and your talk of jo's dp and putting it where it should go, you are so entertaining
judy - my cycle this month is a bit confusing, i read somewhere that temps and cm were more reliable indicators of o than opk's so I took those results out of ff, cause it said something like it couldn't work out what day I o'd (something like that) anyway to cut the story short I am 16dpo today according to ff, so I guess its not really that early. Lol on the poas and peeing on twigs (I have this image in my head, probably not a good one lol), its actually piac this time around, so not good when you've only got a little cup trying to catch it, sorry TMI. Depending on how everything goes I will try and get a photo of a stick tomorrow, lol. Blame the vitex, blame anything that you like, how many days ago did you stop, should there not be enough in your system to be ok?
jo – I've never heard of what your DP has before. I just assumed it all came out the right way, how naïve is that?! Did it help him a bit realising what was happening, it must have helped him even just a little.
Mel – did you get to chat this morning? Hope you got some answers. Get snorting hon, lol, (another image in my head)
Aunty m – you and (kat)ptin kirk have so much to catch up on, (sorry for the poor use of humour), I hope peanut is treating ok.
Cessie – thanks for your words of hope, its extremely reassuring to hear that life can and does go on
Ellie – how you doing today?

**klee** · September 18th, 2007, 05:04 PM

kat - i know its your angelversaries today, thinking of you hon, dh, zahra and darren

**~StarBright~** · September 18th, 2007, 05:19 PM

Thanks, i had to write the date like 10 times, i hate that.

i just did a short shift in the bar and it was actually fun. I had no uncomfortable moments and no one who asked any questions!! Yay there is hope!! I even remembered what everyone drinks!! They were all stoked that i remembered too!!!!! It felt good to be in there, coz i really did like my job. I like making the customers feel special, it is so easy and it makes such a difference in peoples day when they get a smile and a nice chat instead of attitude!! I like to spread happiness!!

I am heading home now to walk my doggies and have husband time!!

Hello to everyone, sorry i have been slack on personals, i will be back to my good old form soon! See ya all in a few days!!

Klee- keep me updated PUHLEASE!!!

Goodnight xoxo

**Mel1977** · September 18th, 2007, 06:04 PM

Hi guys - man lets hope I can do this quickly before DH arrives at train station expecting a lift

Klee - You know my feelings on it - but for your sake I will keep the green guys under my belt until we get a definite answer. so many

coming your way... and if its what we think it is, you know what that might mean

SB -

for you today. You spread happiness all around, not just at work - you have definitely brought a few smiles to my face over the months.

Judy - Not much going on with IVF, Synarel started Saturday and now we wait... I hate waiting! Hope those OPKs arrive quick smart, not long to go!

Jo - Ditto Judy's bit... So with DHs problem where does that leave you with TTC? Sorry if I seem dumb, I am just wondering if they can like get it out somehow and inseminate you?

Hi to everyone else.

OK so I got my ACa results (anticardiolipin antibodies) and first I knew about it was a message on the answering machine last night from my OB saying "really good news, the BT shows a negative result for the antibodies which looks really good for your next pregnancy". So in a spin and confused I have tried to contact him all day but we keep missing each other, but then when I got home there was a letter in the mail saying that "the levels measured extremely low and they consider this to be a really good sign for a subsequent pregnancy". I am going to ring him tomorrow again but I am just so spun by all this. Firstly what it means is that if my levels are that low then in the end I really dont have a cause for Nicholas' death afterall

I wasnt aware that you could be positive for such a thing and then all of a sudden test negative. I am so confused. And noone who knows about this stuff is around anymore to help so I just feel a little lost (Kat, you will get what I am on about). So now I have even more reason to fear the next pregnancy because we dont have anything to work with. I thought these fears and the hurt and sadness would subside a little now that his birthday has gone, but in all honesty I just feel more hopeless!

And just my luck, one of the women I am working with this week is expecting a granddaughter on Friday (her daughter is being induced) and well do you think I have heard about anything but today?

They have offered me work next week but I think I will have to say no, she is attending the birth so you can just imagine what she will be like next week. I have been accepted to work from home but they cant guarantee full time income until I have been doing it a few weeks. I think it would be better to risk it than put myself in such a difficult situation.

Anyway, thats my whinge for the day - will let you know once I speak to OB and get some info... if I dont lose the plot by then... life sucks and I hate it

**Lynn** · September 18th, 2007, 09:21 PM

SB - thinking of you and your angels today

**Lynn** · September 18th, 2007, 09:35 PM

Mel - yes I did get your email - I replied.................no comment! I am sorry that you are confused by the info that you have been given. Try calling your ob again tomorrow and get it sorted out. You really need to know what is going on and answers as to why you lost Nicholas. I know if Nat was around she would post to you and try to help but she is galavanting around Europe. Big big hugs to you babe

call if you need a chat, vent, scream, cry.........anything - I am here for you :hugs:

Klee - I can't wait to use the jumpy green guys for you but I will resist until you tell us otherwise! I will however send you heaps and heaps of

and

Jo - when do you see your specialist? I think it is soon isn't it? I hope you can get some answers or some help.

SB - you cheeky thing!!! Are you going to hassle me too about the gender! Let me just say that you might be right - you have a 50% chance! I'm glad you enjoyed your shift at the pub. I can only imagine that it would have brought up many emotions as this is what you did in your past life. Good on you for mixing with the customers again - a big step

Hi to Ellie, Judy - sending you all lots and lots of

**Auntie M** · September 19th, 2007, 08:14 AM

howdy everyone.
Klee- oh, i'm hoping and hoping and hoping! a line looks so good, dear, no matter how faint. lots of babydust and sticky vibes for you! good pun, (kat)ptin kirk. heh heh. i'm a fan of puns.

Judy- i did get to watch a few farscape episodes, but i don't get tv so it doesn't happen often unless i can rent them. just watched the sci-fi dune series and it was pretty good. glad i'm not the only geek here! peanut does give me m/s and so so tired all the time -- it is all good though.

Kat- happy angelversaries to your darlings. and hugs to you. i agree with Mel, you are a good one to bring smiles where ever you go. i'm glad you are able to do it again at the bar, and you bring them all the time here!

Jo- sounds very complicated, and i'm with Klee, i had no idea that could happen. it must be so difficult for your dh, fertility issues cut so deeply to issues of who we are.

Mel- oh, dear, i'm sorry this news has brought up Nicholas' birth in such a negative way that will cause you more fear for the future too. you don't need that in addition to everything else. hugs to you.

Lynn- looks like folks are ganging up to find out about Hope, you best be on your toes! so far, you have been so careful . . .

today is a better day for me, back to normal levels of anxiety and happiness. xxoom

**jlk** · September 19th, 2007, 09:09 AM

Hey all,

we see the f/s on the 1st november, so about 6 weeks, unfortunatly if it comes down to IVF, we just can't afford it, so......

cessie · September 19th, 2007, 09:21 AM

Hi Mel,
I just wanted to pop in 2 cents wrth if you dont mind, I did post earlier in this thread to send my thoughts to you all as I was reading your posts.
Anyways, I tested - for Aca, but + for Antiphospholipid antibodies,which is sorta like Aca, And yes you can test + and then next time test -. that goes for quite a few of those blood tests, So because of the + Aps I had to inject myself eveyday whilst pg, with heparin and take a low dose aspirn . I am sorry that it doesnt help you with a reason for the loss of Nicholas, you really just want to hold onto a reason for why it happened. good luck and if you need some info i may be able to help you with just holler. Take care

And Klee good luck!!!

**klee** · September 19th, 2007, 10:43 AM

mel - good luck talking to your ob, let us know what he says. ok so tell me if i'm wrong, but i was just thinking so if i read right you still have levels just very low at that "the levels measured extremely low ", is that right? but that ACa doesn't show up when you are pg, but high after birth? so thinking along those lines a low level could be good, in that your body is preparing and strengthening for pg. could that be what he means? I know it must be hard for you to be hearing these things, it all just seems too much of a coincidence if its not that. i don't know what else to say and I'm sorry if I've put it the wrong way, but I guess you know we are always needing to find a reason even if/when we are given one (I don't know if you remember our chat at the PCP but it was along these lines and you helped me see a bit of logic through the haze of it all).
Also re the ladies at work, you know what I think of that, I just think it would be healthier for you to mention something, even if its not to go into details, because the emotional state you are in today, you need compassion, not ignorance. Thinking of you, hope the day gets better.

Ok I will come back later to do some more personals,

**Inanna** · September 19th, 2007, 11:16 AM

Hi Mel,
I just saw your post. As with all parameters for blood work there is a threshold that is considered "normal". It seems this is what you fit with this latest blood work.

ACA is something that isn't static. So, usually the bloods are done at intervals and then a result is given. Is that what happened with you?

I understand how hard it is - an answer sometimes is not found. I know I struggled with this. As you may remember my results remained at "borderline". But due to my 3 late losses and my borderline results a diagnosis of "a condition mimicking APS" was given. This didn't help my head - especially through this pregnancy. I often think... What if we are barking up the wrong tree - what if - what if... So, I am hearing you and empathising and sending so much love and many hugs.
It will be interesting to hear what your specialist says. I am here - always around. I just try not to post too much in here - I don't want to hurt anyone with my ticker.

**CeCeSays** · September 19th, 2007, 11:30 AM

Ok.. so I normally lurk and read all your posts mainly because I don't feel like I have much to add. You have all helped me make it through some of the worst days I have ever had. I know it sounds trite but I pray for each of you and am truly thankful for your honesty.

That being said... I think I actually can add something worthwile to this thread.. yay me!

Mel- I was totally convinced that the aca test would confirm why I lost Eli. It came back negative... I was crushed. Seemed silly but I just wanted to know why. When I met with my new OB/GYN she explained to me that there are tests for thrombophillias, yes, but they only cover about 15% of the clotting disorders that can cause late loss. She is convinced , the perinatologist and hematologist as well, that a clotting disorder is the reason... lab results be damned. I will be on lovenox for any subsequent pregnancy. ... Sorry I am babbling on here... but I just want you to know that many many docs now accept that clotting disorders have been causing so many losses that they can no longer just chalk it up to "one of those things". Trust your gut. ( I later found out that there was extensive clotting in the placenta and cord)

I dont know how to get those ticker thingies... but we have been given the go ahead for ttc... so expect me to be showing up more. I apologise ahead of time for any craziness that ttc will bring me.

Blessings to everyone!

**jlk** · September 19th, 2007, 01:42 PM

Welcome CeCeSays

Flowerchild - you are always welcome here!

Well yesterday I had the film developed with the photos of Storm on it, it's taken me 8 months to get the courage to ask the photographer (she owns the photo shop & also did our wedding pics) to develop them! Silly really, she had no problems with doing them! plus my blubbering might have had something to do with it!

I did have a couple that the funeral director took, but these ones were of her when she was just born!
It shocked me to be reminded of how tiny she was

Enough about me, how is everyone else?

**klee** · September 19th, 2007, 02:37 PM

hi jo - so glad to hear you got Storm's photos developed, i have no doubt she was beautiful. Isn't it funny some people you think will be strange about things and aren't and the people you think might not be strange are. I'm sure she realised she would be bringing you some comfort. how is ds going, and dh, he feeling a little better about things? are you round up to o? or in the tww or you just waiting for dh's visit with the fs? most importantly how are you?