Auntie M: I am so happy to hear that our little group brings you comfort. I am an addict, I tell you if I don't get my BB hit I get really anxious. Like Lynn said it is because the ladies here understand and you don't have to explain the way you feel, we just know exactly what you mean. It is also great that you managed to get through supper (we call it dinner over here in Aus) without crying. That may seem like a small thing but it is a huge achievement and shows that you are making small steps in the right direction.
Jo: I also have a bit of a shrine for Harry. It is in our bedroom and has his urn, teddies, a special box full of his memories, a necklace from Mel, some Police Recruit badges from his daddy. I kiss him morning and night. The other night I said to DH I want to put a blanket around his urn because it is so cold. I thought it might be a weird thing to do but DH said to do it because it felt right.
Lynn: I swear I admire you and the other ladies who have had to self inject, I don't know how on earth I would do it if I had to. I have to get my Anti D injection tomorrow and then hopefully that is it for a while.
Spring - I just wanted to say that I have a little bunny rug wrapped around Asha's urn. It is one of those ones that has a little built in teddy on it. DS bought it "for the bubby" when I was about 5 months pregnant. I always have it wrapped around the urn and the little teddy arms kind of hug it. It kind of makes me feel like her big brother is looking after her and keeping her warm. A bit silly, but I too think it just feels right. I cannot believer your ticker...it is just flying. Only 100 days to go!
Auntie M - I too am glad that you are feeling welcome here. Like the others have said, I doubt very much I would have made it through the last 7 months if I hadn't found BB and these girls. Shrek was great, it wasn't as good as the 2nd one which I think is hilarious, but I really enjoyed it. I love kids movies, and was so excited when DS got the age where I can use him as an excuse to go to the movies and watch them.
Lynn - How are you feeling? Have you got any signs of MS yet? I am sure it will hit you like a tonne of bricks very soon.
Mel - Yep, I love kids movies, especially the Pixar and Dreamworks ones. How good are they? We have been watching Flushed Away alot lately, that is a good one too. GP visit was just so the doc could sign all the forms for the referral to the womens hospital, nothing exciting, oh other than a breast check. Lol.
Flowerchild - Yep, it is hard when you are constantly being checked up on isn't it? I actually ended up telling my mum today...while we were driving, which wasn't smart, lol. She is so excited, but knows me and my hate of fuss and attention well enough to not make too much fuss. I had to tell her, cos she was starting to harass me about where we were going to go on holidays this year (mum, DS and I usually go to Bangkok shopping at the end of the year) so I just buckled. It was never that I didn't want her to know, it was more that I didn't want her worrying about me worrying. She was so excited and just bursting but trying to hold it in. So I let her tell my aunties, lol, she really needed to get it out. It is actually a relief to have told her, now I know I don't have to pretend I am alright when I am not, and now its out, I can go and see my uncle about the NLP too, which I want to get into.
Hello to everyone else too.
Another horrible day today, though not complaining I promise. I am going to try some of those sea-sick bands from the chemist tomorrow and see if they help. Has anyone tried them before??
Hi ladies AuntieM & avalanche - I am sorry to hear about your losses, this thread is a good place to be for support at this difficult time.
Lynn & Bailey - it is so good to see your tickers progressing nicely. Sorry about the m/s - my friend uses the sea-sick bands (she is 22wks and still has m/s) and she swears they have helped heaps. Hope they help you too.
Mel - I am sorry that it is still too difficult to pack up the nursery. As you say one day you will both feel like it and there is no need to push yourselves. It is a big step that you should only do when you are ready.
Klee - glad to hear you are getting reassurance from the signs you are seeing from Phoebe. I sometimes feel that I am a bad person for not having anything to remember Thomas except my memories (which unfortunately are all bad). Still thats my issue - just wanted to say it is so good to hear you ladies have shrines and memories for your babies.
Well I think I have written too much already so I will say good night to you all.
I’ve just been reading your conversations to see how you are all going. It helps to feel like there is a place that I can go where I can be myself and not feel that I should be acting a certain way. With my family I can’t seem to win. If I act as if everything is ok my in-laws start talking about me doing too well and that obviously I’m going to have a complete breakdown and if I fall apart then my family starts saying that I’m in a downward spiral to depression and I should start to try to get a grip of myself.
Aunty M: I wouldn’t worry about leaving the nursery furniture up, it’s a reminder of how much you loved and wanted Yeti. I have Oliver’s urn, foot prints and teddy bear out and my husband and I had his name engraved on the inside of our wedding rings so we are always wearing a reminder of him.
Spring: I’m a complete needle sook too. When I was told I had to start giving myself clexane injections it took over an hour of coaching from my obstetrician, the midwife and the receptionist, half a box of tissues for my tears and several minutes of dry-retching in a shards bin before I could stick the needle in. Even now I feel nauseous whenever I have to have a blood test etc.
Hi Millie Pillie
Welcome to this thread - I am sorry you have suffered a loss recently, I am sure coming in here will help you get through the next few weeks/months.
I don't understand people when they make such awful comments - I wished we could all just be left to grieve and cope in our own ways. I know when my DH went back to work everyone ignored him - as he walked into the lab they went silent and turned away and it took him telling them to grow up for them to start treating him like normal. At my place I had people stop me in the corridor and say "how are you?" I would say fine. And they would persist with comments like "ah well better luck next time" or "you don't seem very sad" or "you got over it quickly thats good". Why don't they just leave you alone and mind there own business if they don't have anything good to say.
Sorry about that - I am getting frustrated at work with people trying to make me cry just so they an tell that yes I am still grieving. That is why I am not telling anyone about this baby and keeping it quiet for as long as possible.
Tess - I sort of know how you feel. I have complete strangers in town approaching my sister or myself asking if I 'was the girl with the stillborn'. I don't mind when my friends and family ask me because they actually cared when I was pregnant... but I hate knowing that I've become part of the gossip in this tiny town. Whenever I take my daily walks I now always wear headphones with music extremely loud so I don't have to deal with people.
Today has been good, otherwise. I talked it over with my sister, and she says that I can adopt a dog from the local shelter. I'm hoping to find a boxer since they're such nice family dogs. (I'm hoping to TTC by the fall)!
Spring - I was waiting for that post!!! Yes you Queenslanders did deserve to win. NSW played terrible! I was yelling at the TV (poor TV). BTW we are talking about Rugby League for anyone that doesn't know what we are talking about ) I don't think it is silly at all if you want to put a blanket around Harry. It is cute, you are just being a mum and looking out for and protecting your son, like he does for you I hope you get through your last injection ok today.
Bailey - How exciting you told your mum! I bet she was so excited. I know what you mean about not wanting them to worry. I was the same with my mum. But she does worry, but then that is her job isn't it! No m/s here yet. I am telling myself that I have a little boy bean and therefore not making me sick, just like Cooper. Well he made me a little sick but not bad. I did use sea-sick bands with Cooper and they worked. I am just a sook when it comes to feeling sick. That is so cute that you wrap Asha up. I can just picture it. And your DS is so adorable.
Millie - welcome, I hope you find heaps of support here. The girls here are the best!! Unfortunately unless you have been through something like we have, people just don't understand. I don't even think they can imagine it, it isn't something that you want to. I think this is why people always say the wrong thing, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes it would be nice if they said nothing at all! I hope those needles are going ok :hugs:
Tess - I can't believe some people treated you and your DH like that! What is with some people. You can't win can you. If you are in tears all day, people think you aren't coping and then all think you should be sent off to the nuthouse and to see a shrink. If you don't cry, everyone thinks you aren't sad and that you are 'ok' now. I agree why can't people just back off and let us grieve the way we want to.
Avalanche - that is appaulling that someone would ask that! But I know what you mean about not wanting to deal with people. That is why I don't go out much. I swear people are looking at me, saying that is the one that lost her baby. I think that is a wonderful thing to do, adopting a dog. Boxers are beautiful dogs. I have 2 dogs, well I call them my babies and they have been so good for me over the past 6 months. They give the best cuddles and one of them I swear can detect emotions. Whenever I am upset, she sits at my feet and just puts one paw on my leg. It is like she is saying, it is ok. I love them to bits!
Aunty M - I am so glad you had a couple of "better" days, you will definitely still have those horrid days but take each "better" day that you can, I am sure they will become more frequent as time goes by. And that is great that you and DH had a nice supper together with just the 2 of you, as long as you guys look after each other you will be ok.
Avalanche - People still surprise me to this day, after 9 months of dealing with insensitive and emotionally crippled people they still do. For people to just walk up to you in the street and ask if you are that girl - how rude!!!!!
Milly - I am sorry I know I shouldnt but I had to chuckle a little at your post, I know how it is to have everyone watching you like you are gonna fall apart any second. Its not a funny thing, but it just shows how much people dont understand the grief we all feel. They dont understand that we can have bad days but not be suicidal, and also have good days and not be "over it". All I can say is...
Bailey - Hope your M/S isnt too bad today. Too funny, I scared myself with those YouTube vids the other night that I couldnt sleep - what a psycho am I?
Spring - Glad to hear lil Spring is doing so well, but bummer about the BT! And your welcome
Lynn - S&K meeting was ok, it was much easier going this time that last cause I didnt feel nervous. Wish Klee was there too but I guess its a long way to travel for a meeting Hope you are feeling ok, and that Hope is looking after his/her Mumma.
Tess - OMG I cant believe people can be so heartless, who the hell says to someone you dont seem very sad?!?!?!?!? (not to mention the other comments). Talk about learn some communication skills buddy! I am so sorry you have to suffer those ignorant people.
Huge HI to everyone else - Deb, have you heard from Michelle? And about how Oscar is doing? I hope she puts a pic on her ticker like heaps of other women do.
Well DH and I decided we are getting a kitten! How is that for an out of the blew statement? LOL! Unfortunately I have cat allergies but apparently they will subside once I get used to living with a cat again - at least I hope so. We are going to move to a bigger house in the next month or 2 though so we will wait until then. I cant wait - I love cats so much (darn allergies ). We saw a little kitten in a pet shop window tonight and both decided (well I persuaded and DH agreed, but it was still mutual LOL).
I just wanted to say something that is probably a little (or alot) corny and stupid but I am gonna say it anyway... I have noticed quite a few ladies have sadly had to join our little (growing) group lately and I know that every time I read a new post about someone losing their much loved bubba I get so teary, call me a sook but I do. But afterwards, to read their posts in the TTC thread about how they feel a little "better" (man I hate that word) now they have found the support that alot of us have been lucky enough to receive from each other gives me so much hope that together one day we will all be "ok". I have been thinking that we are so lucky to have each others support, and I know I feel so proud of us all that we can open up to each other and reach out to both give and receive that support. It makes me wonder how many other women out there going through what we are, are feeling alone and misunderstood - the way each and every one of us felt before we found each other. I am sorry now I am reeeeeeeally being a sook, I am just feeling very emotional today but basically what I am trying to say is that we are all wonderful people - I know I am being pathetic but oh well
Anyway thats all from me - now that I have embarrassed myself - Ah well!
Love Mel
Last edited by Mel1977; June 14th, 2007 at 10:20 PM.
Klee - I know it isnt the happy birthday you were hoping for at this point but you still deserve to celebrate... I know Phoebe is there with you, on the other side of the world, helping you blow your candles out .
Mel you are not being a sook at all. Your post was beautiful and so true. We are all very special women who are fortunate enough to have found each other to help us get through each day. I know that for me I would not have got through the past 6 months without you girls.
Happy Birthday Klee. I hope you are enjoying your holiday and you find time today to celebrate your birthday. I know it will be bittersweet but Phoebe will help you celebrate
I'm ok. Just hanging out until Tuesday for my scan. Still don't really feel anything other than constipation! The joys! I just want to see the bubba and then I will feel pg. I have been tired lately, but hey I'm always tired and could sleep all day any time of the year! Especially now when it is soooooooo cold. I went on a big walk this morning with my mum and the girls and they are absolutely filthy! It was so wet out. Looks like DH will be washing them when he gets home tonight.
How are you going? How are you feeling? I know this week has been hard for you and I have been thinking about you all week
Im going out for lunch soon but I needed to pop in and say hi to you all!
Klee A big happy birthday for yesterday . Try to enjoy, Phoebe will be sending all her love to you Im sure. xxx
Mel - How you going I need to do more reading to catch up. Is your lap next week or week after? The kitten sounds like a good idea, our cat died about a year ago now and we still miss her (by the way we are not great cat lovers but she sort of adopted us! long story) They do keep you company.
Deb - Col sounds like hes doing well, I need to ask you a question.....Im so scared about trying again Im not sure I can go throught it again, how do you stay so strong? It seams as Sept is comming around Im getting cold feet, do you think this is a sign of not too?
Spring - Love the comment! Hows that little girl going in there! As for needles, you would be amazed what you could do if you had to! Its just one of those things I still go OMG how did I just inject myself but its not till after I think this.....UHMM maybe a new wing in the nuthouse needed!
Bailey - Im so glad to hear your m/s is there but I do hope it is not to bad.
Tommysmum - How are you feeling, sorrry once again I need to catch up on all the goss.
Avalanche - People are so stuffed up, I think us girls are the only normal ones in life. The dog idea sounds like a good one, dog, cats what ever they are good company. What sort would you like? Lynns babies are soooo cute!
MIlly - I think Mel sumed it up, Keep your chin up and do what you feel you need to do dont worry what they think! and iff all else fails join us in our little "HOUSE" we are going to build
Tess - Hope today is a little better, People......I dont know just hit them!
Aunty M - I hope each day is a little better, just take small steps forward. xxx
Well look at the time, Im off to luch (anythings better then housework) mind you I need to spend a couple of days and keep this mess back together! I will pop back later.
Keep safe and well and warm if your in NSW.
Luv Natxxx
Nat: I can understand the closer you get to Sep the more nervous you get. Sep is a big month for me too so perhaps we can help each other through. I hope your lunch was a nice distraction and you stuffed yourself silly.
Mel: A puddy cat sounds like a great idea, as long as your allergy can cope. As you know I am a dog person but animals are just the most wonderful companions. They are true friends for life. I had also noticed that sadly we are getting more members. I wish this group never had to exist in the first place IYKWIM. But I also think that all our angels have bought us to this group. I am afraid to think of what would have been left of *me* if I hadn't met you all. I am with Lynn, time for a
Lynn: Only 4 sleeps until your scan. I can wait to hear all about it and see the gorgeous little pictures of Hope growing in there nice and strong. My dogs are filthy too, that mud is just too tempting to stay away from. Oh well, they are curled up on their bed in front of the heater, It's a dogs life for sure.
Avalance: Boxers are just awesome dogs. Their are playful and goofy and I love their big droopy lips. Both my boys are from the RSPCA which is a dog shelter. Although sometimes they are naughty and drive me nuts, they are just the best therapy ever.
MilliePille: Welcome to our group babe. I am so sorry that you find yourself here but you will come to learn quickly that we are a great bunch who will understand exactly how you feel. Big welcoming .
Klee the first B'day after losing our angels is very difficult, but you deserve to be spoilt rotten so I hope you have had a lovely day.
Deb: How are you today babe? I hope you are feeling great.
Bailey: How is your mum? Has she recovered from hearing your wonderful news? I am sure she is just over the moon. I also hope you aren't feeling so icky.
Tess: I totally agree with you about the way people 'expect' you to deal with grief. Don't they know that the hardest time is when the tears have dried up. Because no one can see how sad you are but you are broken inside. Just tell them to shove it I say.
Well DH and I had a day out today. We went and got me some new winter warm around the house clothes for me, went to lunch and then saw Shrek 3. We found out today that the owners of the house we are renting definately want to move back in so we have to squeeze a move in before bub is born. Life wasn't meant to be easy was it.
Oh well, it is snuggle weather here at the moment so that is exactly what I am going to do. Hello to all you other wonderful ladies.
Snuggle up spring - i am hogging the heater (whilst drying clothes over it) - i just can't believe how cold it is. DD runs around in a pair of undies and doesn't feel it -she just keeps stripping when i put some clothes on her!!!
Klee - happy birthday honey - hope you had a lovely day.
Mel - i think a kitten would be perfect - they are soooo cute and cuddly - i actually think i would smother one to death by kissing it too much. I love kittens but am allergic too. I am glad BB exists and that we have the opportunity to network like this too. I have heard of so many stillborns occuring in the last few months in my area and i just wonder how these people are coping and what they do for support. I bet only a small percentage come online and chat. Hope you are doing fine - and ok (from the other day) i change my prediction to "9 months" for you to have your baby. Is that better and if so you better put out more girl. LOL
Also - i am glad you wen to the S&K meeting - they are only once a month but i find them useful and i look forward to each one (we have ours next week)...
Hello to everyone else - hope you are doing well
Dream - how are you love ? All is well here - just very busy with house extension/renovations etc. I think i might be able to catch up now (will check the thread and see where we are at with dates etc). Hope you are well.
I hope you get through your last injection ok today.
). We saw a little kitten in a pet shop window tonight and both decided (well I persuaded and DH agreed, but it was still mutual LOL).
I know it isnt the happy birthday you were hoping for at this point but you still deserve to celebrate... I know Phoebe is there with you, on the other side of the world, helping you blow your candles out .
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