Hi Millie Pillie
Welcome to this thread - I am sorry you have suffered a loss recently, I am sure coming in here will help you get through the next few weeks/months.
I don't understand people when they make such awful comments - I wished we could all just be left to grieve and cope in our own ways. I know when my DH went back to work everyone ignored him - as he walked into the lab they went silent and turned away and it took him telling them to grow up for them to start treating him like normal. At my place I had people stop me in the corridor and say "how are you?" I would say fine. And they would persist with comments like "ah well better luck next time" or "you don't seem very sad" or "you got over it quickly thats good". Why don't they just leave you alone and mind there own business if they don't have anything good to say.
Sorry about that - I am getting frustrated at work with people trying to make me cry just so they an tell that yes I am still grieving. That is why I am not telling anyone about this baby and keeping it quiet for as long as possible.
Tess - I sort of know how you feel. I have complete strangers in town approaching my sister or myself asking if I 'was the girl with the stillborn'. I don't mind when my friends and family ask me because they actually cared when I was pregnant... but I hate knowing that I've become part of the gossip in this tiny town. Whenever I take my daily walks I now always wear headphones with music extremely loud so I don't have to deal with people.
Today has been good, otherwise. I talked it over with my sister, and she says that I can adopt a dog from the local shelter. I'm hoping to find a boxer since they're such nice family dogs. (I'm hoping to TTC by the fall)!
Spring - I was waiting for that post!!! Yes you Queenslanders did deserve to win. NSW played terrible! I was yelling at the TV (poor TV). BTW we are talking about Rugby League for anyone that doesn't know what we are talking about ) I don't think it is silly at all if you want to put a blanket around Harry. It is cute, you are just being a mum and looking out for and protecting your son, like he does for you I hope you get through your last injection ok today.
Bailey - How exciting you told your mum! I bet she was so excited. I know what you mean about not wanting them to worry. I was the same with my mum. But she does worry, but then that is her job isn't it! No m/s here yet. I am telling myself that I have a little boy bean and therefore not making me sick, just like Cooper. Well he made me a little sick but not bad. I did use sea-sick bands with Cooper and they worked. I am just a sook when it comes to feeling sick. That is so cute that you wrap Asha up. I can just picture it. And your DS is so adorable.
Millie - welcome, I hope you find heaps of support here. The girls here are the best!! Unfortunately unless you have been through something like we have, people just don't understand. I don't even think they can imagine it, it isn't something that you want to. I think this is why people always say the wrong thing, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes it would be nice if they said nothing at all! I hope those needles are going ok :hugs:
Tess - I can't believe some people treated you and your DH like that! What is with some people. You can't win can you. If you are in tears all day, people think you aren't coping and then all think you should be sent off to the nuthouse and to see a shrink. If you don't cry, everyone thinks you aren't sad and that you are 'ok' now. I agree why can't people just back off and let us grieve the way we want to.
Avalanche - that is appaulling that someone would ask that! But I know what you mean about not wanting to deal with people. That is why I don't go out much. I swear people are looking at me, saying that is the one that lost her baby. I think that is a wonderful thing to do, adopting a dog. Boxers are beautiful dogs. I have 2 dogs, well I call them my babies and they have been so good for me over the past 6 months. They give the best cuddles and one of them I swear can detect emotions. Whenever I am upset, she sits at my feet and just puts one paw on my leg. It is like she is saying, it is ok. I love them to bits!
Aunty M - I am so glad you had a couple of "better" days, you will definitely still have those horrid days but take each "better" day that you can, I am sure they will become more frequent as time goes by. And that is great that you and DH had a nice supper together with just the 2 of you, as long as you guys look after each other you will be ok.
Avalanche - People still surprise me to this day, after 9 months of dealing with insensitive and emotionally crippled people they still do. For people to just walk up to you in the street and ask if you are that girl - how rude!!!!!
Milly - I am sorry I know I shouldnt but I had to chuckle a little at your post, I know how it is to have everyone watching you like you are gonna fall apart any second. Its not a funny thing, but it just shows how much people dont understand the grief we all feel. They dont understand that we can have bad days but not be suicidal, and also have good days and not be "over it". All I can say is...
Bailey - Hope your M/S isnt too bad today. Too funny, I scared myself with those YouTube vids the other night that I couldnt sleep - what a psycho am I?
Spring - Glad to hear lil Spring is doing so well, but bummer about the BT! And your welcome
Lynn - S&K meeting was ok, it was much easier going this time that last cause I didnt feel nervous. Wish Klee was there too but I guess its a long way to travel for a meeting Hope you are feeling ok, and that Hope is looking after his/her Mumma.
Tess - OMG I cant believe people can be so heartless, who the hell says to someone you dont seem very sad?!?!?!?!? (not to mention the other comments). Talk about learn some communication skills buddy! I am so sorry you have to suffer those ignorant people.
Huge HI to everyone else - Deb, have you heard from Michelle? And about how Oscar is doing? I hope she puts a pic on her ticker like heaps of other women do.
Well DH and I decided we are getting a kitten! How is that for an out of the blew statement? LOL! Unfortunately I have cat allergies but apparently they will subside once I get used to living with a cat again - at least I hope so. We are going to move to a bigger house in the next month or 2 though so we will wait until then. I cant wait - I love cats so much (darn allergies ). We saw a little kitten in a pet shop window tonight and both decided (well I persuaded and DH agreed, but it was still mutual LOL).
I just wanted to say something that is probably a little (or alot) corny and stupid but I am gonna say it anyway... I have noticed quite a few ladies have sadly had to join our little (growing) group lately and I know that every time I read a new post about someone losing their much loved bubba I get so teary, call me a sook but I do. But afterwards, to read their posts in the TTC thread about how they feel a little "better" (man I hate that word) now they have found the support that alot of us have been lucky enough to receive from each other gives me so much hope that together one day we will all be "ok". I have been thinking that we are so lucky to have each others support, and I know I feel so proud of us all that we can open up to each other and reach out to both give and receive that support. It makes me wonder how many other women out there going through what we are, are feeling alone and misunderstood - the way each and every one of us felt before we found each other. I am sorry now I am reeeeeeeally being a sook, I am just feeling very emotional today but basically what I am trying to say is that we are all wonderful people - I know I am being pathetic but oh well
Anyway thats all from me - now that I have embarrassed myself - Ah well!
Love Mel
Last edited by Mel1977; June 14th, 2007 at 10:20 PM.
Klee - I know it isnt the happy birthday you were hoping for at this point but you still deserve to celebrate... I know Phoebe is there with you, on the other side of the world, helping you blow your candles out .
Mel you are not being a sook at all. Your post was beautiful and so true. We are all very special women who are fortunate enough to have found each other to help us get through each day. I know that for me I would not have got through the past 6 months without you girls.
Happy Birthday Klee. I hope you are enjoying your holiday and you find time today to celebrate your birthday. I know it will be bittersweet but Phoebe will help you celebrate
Snuggle up spring - i am hogging the heater (whilst drying clothes over it) - i just can't believe how cold it is. DD runs around in a pair of undies and doesn't feel it -she just keeps stripping when i put some clothes on her!!!
Klee - happy birthday honey - hope you had a lovely day.
Mel - i think a kitten would be perfect - they are soooo cute and cuddly - i actually think i would smother one to death by kissing it too much. I love kittens but am allergic too. I am glad BB exists and that we have the opportunity to network like this too. I have heard of so many stillborns occuring in the last few months in my area and i just wonder how these people are coping and what they do for support. I bet only a small percentage come online and chat. Hope you are doing fine - and ok (from the other day) i change my prediction to "9 months" for you to have your baby. Is that better and if so you better put out more girl. LOL
Also - i am glad you wen to the S&K meeting - they are only once a month but i find them useful and i look forward to each one (we have ours next week)...
Hello to everyone else - hope you are doing well
Dream - how are you love ? All is well here - just very busy with house extension/renovations etc. I think i might be able to catch up now (will check the thread and see where we are at with dates etc). Hope you are well.
Spring - Lunch was a GREAT distraction we sat right under the gas heater and stuffed our faces, I finished with apple struddle! oh and vanillia bean ice cream. Yeah we will be able to get through sept together. Its just my heart has broken so may times know Im not sure how it would hold up to anymore angels? Your shopping trip with DH sounded very nice, it must be so wonderful to have him home. Oh and if you need a hand with the move as long as its not in sept/oct Im around!
Tommysmum- What is it with kids my DS is the same we have tiles right through the downstairs mind you that are cold underfoot and he tells me that his ugh boots "are way to hot"! just has pj pants and a singlet on WT! me and DH have socks trackies a blanket laying on the lounge and he walks out! How long till the house is finished? sounds like a big job and should be beautiful when done. I havnt posted in the other thread but im pretty ok with dates at the moment just let me know.
Well lunch was great, but I have the story to top the family stuff of all, my sister rings me to find out if im going to see her off at the airport well im going to be now! We got into a heated discussion, to cut a long story short her last comment to me was "you choose to get to pregnant that many times,and lose them thats your choice" WTF. My mum wants to kill her! I think she has to join the line. Im so lucky to have other family around me that support. It couldnt have come at a worse time, my baby was due wednesday just past and things are just tough. Im try so hard to keep it together and the littlest thing can set me off......Oh boy Me thinks A good red and a hot bath will do my good.
Sorry for the downer so I will go and have that bath.
Dream - What a horrible thing your sister said to you. I have no advice, I think I am too shocked, but just wanted to send you a big massive
Lynn - Not to long till you get a sneak peek at hope. How exciting!
Mel - Meow, a puddy tat sounds like good fun, heres hoping you don't get too sneezy.
Klee - Happy Birthday for yesterday, I hope you had a great day.
Spring - it sounds like you are really enjoying having hubby home, shopping, luch, movies - what a life
Hi to everyone else, I am being a cr@p poster, but I am just still feeling so :ms: I can't believe how bad I feel, it is worse than my other two pregnancies. i got the sea-sick bands, but they really aren't making much difference. So, just trying not to think about it. Have a great weekend everyone.
Dream - i can't believe your sister said that. Just no tact and NO IDEA at all hey ? I have one of those (sisters) sometimes. Make sure she gets on that plane - it will be the best thing. I just can't believe she is so insensitive - i mean what is wrong with wanting and trying to have another baby - some people just dont get it.
We have extended our house (new living area, office, bathroom, laundry, garage, pool and then renovating the old part of the house (everything). It has taken 1.5 years already. We are doing owner builder however saying that we still got a builder in with starting us off (building the shell). He was very slack and would only turn up when he wanted. So last year we wasted a good 5 months i gthink doing nothing. This year we have wasted probably 3 months - but i guess that would have been normal considering Tommy died - and we just didn't give a sh*t about anything. But now that bubba #3 is coming i really want the house completed (nothing more to do) by December, plus we are having xmas here so it is full steam ahead.
Bailey - sorry to hear you are feeling that way - you poor thing. Hopefully it will settle in a few weeks (ok - days). Just think of it as positive - as much as you can. How is SIL going? Did you tell BIL also?
Hello to everyone - -hope the weather near you is better than it is here. Storms galore here.
Nat: I am so sorry honey, I didn't know that it was your angels due date on Wednesday. Hug sand cuddles coming your way :hugs: Now about your sister, I can't believe how insensitive she was. Doesn't she know that the only reason you continue down this painful path is because the urge to hold and earth baby is so intense? Tell her Spring said to get a grip! I hope you have managed to take that comment for what it its 'just plain mean' and move on. She doesn't deserve such a wonderful person as you as a sister. Thanks for the offer to help with the move, you are just too kind. Thankfully DH has plenty of burly mates who are going to help and his cousin owns a business so he is lending us the trucks. In DH's words I just have to get myself to the shops and come home once it is done. I'll be over 30 weeks so no moving for me.
Tommysmum: You casa sounds just devine but boy that sounds like a massive logistical task. Well Christmas isn't that far away so before you know it you'll have a sparkling new house and a sweet little baby also.
Bailey: It will pass honey, but for the time being I am sending some more sympathy your way. I don't have any suggestions or magical cures, the best thing I found was just vomiting and then I would feel a bit of relief.
Well we are off to a BBQ today. DH is back and I have a social life again. I am going to get all rugged up though, runing around in underwear in these antartic like temperatures is beyond me.
Hi Everyone, Nat: I didn't pop in yesterday as I had a migraine so I didn't see your posts - I am sorry.
Well I am not feeling so strong at the moment my love - I am in a pretty ordinary place - feeling very anxious about the weeks to come so I am probably not the best person to answer you right now... But, I guess I just believe. I believe that I will take a live healthy baby home. I am trying to choose to be positive because when I am negative life is just so hard. I only run into trouble when I look ahead too far. If I just look ahead to next weeks obs visit I am right. Looking ahead to 14 -16 weeks (which I have begun to do!) is the end of me... I don't know how my heart would cope with saying goodbye to another baby - pushing it out and never getting to take it home...
I don't think it's a sign you shouldn't try - I think how you are feeling is so very very normal. You are frightened because it's bloody frighteneing and nothing takes the fear away. You can ease it by those weekly visits that most of us have (and I know Dr S is a big proponent of them), by talking to women like us who really understand, and visualising. I visualise *Col's* birth every day. Not the actual birth but holding her/him right after birth - I cry every time - I can "feel" the emotions that I will feel when I actually do it. I also visualise feeling *Col* kick inside me - I always smile when I do it.
There is no magic formula it's really really really hard (read my post in the preg forum) but we are all here for you Nat. Only you can decide if your heart and soul can take it - I think you have got another go in you my love and all my prayers will be with you for a wonderful outcome...
Millie PIllie: Welcome to this thread and I am sorry that you have found yourself here. Do you feel you can share your story with us? :hugs:
Mel: Where are you up to in your cycle my love? If you didn't conceive this cycle what cd will you have your laparoscopy? Just a heads up... If you are thinking of getting a cat - ask your obs to do a toxoplasmosis screen - just to check if you have been exposed. It's really not easy to catch but if you are anything like me - you will worry if you don't know your immunity. You catch it from cat faeces, kitty litter trays, digging in the garden without gloves where a cat may have been and raw meat...
Hi girls,
I cant believe I have finally worked up the courage to contribute to this forum.
Although I have written my son's birth story I never thought I could actually start writing right here...Call me crazy I know.
I want to say something like I'm glad we can all share our experiences and what not but it shouldnt be this way!
We shouldnt have to bond over the death of our children!
Having a child shouldnt be this hard, why are we the ones who suffer?
Ahh Im sorry Im getting a bit emotional.
Good luck for all the ladies TTC and may God help calm your souls and mend your hearts.
Thanks everyone - I am feeling better today. I spent some time getting my head space back. I am consciously choosing to look only as far as my next u/s - that is manageable and stressful enough. No more looking ahead!
I had started to think "if this is like the last 3 I will only be pregnant for another 3-4 weeks..." So, no more! Just until Wednesday and that's 3 sleeps away. Indigestion is back and so is constipation so I am feeling better! (how bizarre is that!)
Mel, eating raw or undercooked meat is how you can get toxo - in fact it's easier to contract it that way I believe than from cat faeces. I have seen a couple of cases of toxo and both were from eating raw meat. You should obviously wash you hands well after handling raw meat and if youhave an open cut try not to - but remember women have been preparing meals for millenia too... So, be careful but not paranoid... (I know that's hard ) When is your cd5 my love?
Nat: I meant to say yesterday I am so incredibly sad to hear what your sister said. Tht is just outrageous and I send you a big big hug...
Deb - Sending lots of hugs and positive thoughts up your way. I can't imagine how scary the next few weeks will be for you, but I am positive *Col* is sticking around for a long time yet.
Mel - It's good to hear your new attitude to IVF. Really, who cares how the baby gets here, they can send mine from Mars if they like. Lol, as long as it's not too green. But heres hoping that you don't even need it this month huh.
Spring - Sounds like you are having great fun having DH home. I think having a move will be good right before Lil Spring comes home, everything all new again. Wow, on DH ironing, send him to my place when he is done. Lol, I usually don't buy clothes if they need to be ironed, or I put them in the dryer for 10 mins, thats good enough for me.
Lynn - How are you going? Getting sick yet? Honestly, if you don't start getting soon, I am gonna come and dump mine on your doorstep. It just will not let up! Not complaining of course...much!
Tommysmum - Yeah, get that house finished will ya! Can't wait for summer by the pool, though doubting I will be 'bikini-ready' this summer anyway.
Hello to everybody else out there, hoping you are all well.
Still feeling sick, it is just this lingering yucky feeling, I can't vomit though which is frustrating as that usually makes me feel better instantly. DH keeps joking that it might be twins or triplets and then laughing his stupid head off. I just said to him that the thing I would find most funny would be watching him roll out of the show-room in a 7 seater KIA carnival family car, with no room for surfboards, Lol, that usually shuts him up fast.
Deb - You are such an inspiration to me (im sure everybody you come arcoss) thank you so much. I know how dumb that question was to ask you at the moment but I just see you going on each day, so strong and I know you know just how im feeling so in return I think your plan of each scan at a time is a wonderful idea and I to will send lots and lots of prays your way! I think I have a direct line to god now!!Im just glad to know sometimes that im normal....well as good as it gets! Also glad to hear all those pg sym are back see we are normal. My sister well shes another kettle of fish all together.
I know when I have such wonderful friends like you girls I can get through it, I just wish I could give you more Deb.
Mel - thanks for your support. As far as IVF who givesa how that baba gets in your arms and truly once he/she is born it will be just a distant thought, Im glad that you are doing so well, I do think a plan makes it all a little easier to deal with. when are u getting your kitten?
Lynn - We came up your way today, I rang home but nobody thereIm sorry I missed you. How you feeling today? I will call you later anyway.
Spring - It must be so much fun having DH home now and where can I sign my DH up for ironing and organising skills!! Oh and if you need company shopping of some luch on that moving day ......just call! I love food and shopping!
Bailey - LOVE the kia comment! Have you tried ginger or ginger ale I found this helped the other thing was mineral water (sparkling) dont know if it will work but anyting is worth a try.
Tommysmum - Your palace sounds wonderful! I hope its all done by the time baby gets here! and christmas are you mad .....good on you. as for the sister, im canceling here return ticket! that will fix her little red wagon.
Englishrose - Its not how it should be, and Im glad you have posted. We can maybe just look at it as our angels brought us together for a reason why I cant answer that but at least we have each other. xxx
Well I have not spoken nor texted my sister and of course the whole family now know, but I will take DS to the airport to say f$#@ oh I mean "see you later have a great time and dont come back to soon", but this is what happens when you have never had to be responsible in your life. She is choosing not to have children, Im not against this please dont get me wrong and for her I think its the best thing as she is so very selfish but she makes me see how much I want to be a mum again and give all my love to another person so I should thank her in a way....not that I will. Thank you girls for your support and kind words yes I could have been a little emotional but. By the way that glass of red and a bath was wonderful also a little Barry White playing in the background hit the spot and while I lay there I had a couple of sips for all you pg girls!
Well im going to get dinner going, as school is tomorrow and an early night would be nice. Hi to anyone I have missed and talk soon.
Mel - to you babe. I was the same. I couldn't believe that I had to inject myself to fall pg. But I eventually realised that it doesn't matter how you fall pg as long as you get a healthy baby in the end. I mean who is going to ask when you give birth, how did you fall pg?!?!?! I joke all the time to DH saying that he wasn't even there when I feel pg but as Nat says it takes a while for the and to meet so by the time they did I was at home with DH anyway!! Keep positive and that bfp will come your way very very soon.
Bailey - LOL at the Kia Carnival. Let's see if we can get a 2 for 1 offer!!! Every time we see a van, DH always says thats what we will need for our litter! Only 2 more sleeps and I will know for sure. m/s started yesterday. I was loving it for a day! Today hasn't been too bad, just trying to keep busy. I want the days to go really fast so that Tuesday 11am is here. I hope the m/s eases up for you soon.
Spring - I'll book your DH in for ironing as well! You could make heaps of money out of him! LOL! Glad to hear you had a nice BBQ. It must have been hard around the bub but it sounds like you handled it well.
Nat - OMG! I can't believe I missed you today! I kicked myself when I saw your post We went to the movies and then to my mums. I never go out and when I do look what happens. That's it, I'm not going out again! Your bath sounds wonderful and just what you needed. I listen to Luther Vandros when I am down. Although most of the time it makes me worse because his songs are so emotional.
Deb - I am so happy that you are feeling better today. Take care and rest up, you deserve it!
EnglishRose - welcome. I hope your TTC journey is short and sweet.
Jo - haven't heard from you in a while. How are you going?
I hope you get through your last injection ok today.
). We saw a little kitten in a pet shop window tonight and both decided (well I persuaded and DH agreed, but it was still mutual LOL).
I know it isnt the happy birthday you were hoping for at this point but you still deserve to celebrate... I know Phoebe is there with you, on the other side of the world, helping you blow your candles out .
Your shopping trip with DH sounded very nice, it must be so wonderful to have him home. Oh and if you need a hand with the move as long as its not in sept/oct Im around!
and 
to meet so by the time they did I was at home with DH anyway!! Keep positive and that bfp will come your way very very soon.
We went to the movies and then to my mums. I never go out and when I do look what happens. That's it, I'm not going out again! Your bath sounds wonderful and just what you needed. I listen to Luther Vandros when I am down. Although most of the time it makes me worse because his songs are so emotional.
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