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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

  1. #55

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    Hi Ladies,

    Thank you so much for your warm welcome. You are all amazing.

    Lynn - sorry to hear about your frustration. I always used OPKs and they worked for me (I was very regular) but ever since the first m/c they just aren't reliable for me. Don't know why. But I still went to Priceline on my lunchbreak and dropped $20 on a new box I hope your scan went well.

    Mel - wow, DH's ex sounds like a psycho. I agree with the person who said stick to the court order. Sounds like the ex won't keep her promises, and sorry to hear about the little one. For what it's worth, if DH wants more time with the kids maybe you could apply for a variation to the custody order? Then the ex would have to comply. Sorry if I am butting in but I work in the courts so it's kind of my area .. anyways HTH.



    Mish: about DH, well I guess they can all be like that. But since we are three-time losers (that is just my sense of humour, by the way) he is very cute keeping up with cycle days etc. Even so, the thing that used to work for me was silence. And then...start him up! You know, so he gets all hot and bothered but has no idea whether it is ttc time or not. Actually it took us eight months to get pg the first time, so I was thinking we might have problems in that area. But ever since we seem to get pg at the drop of the hat. But thank you for your message, it is nice to know there is someone experiencing the same thing as I am.

    Sorry for the long post ladies. I just got word last night that my FS is referring me to the recurrnet m/c people at her clinic, so that is good news IMO. I don't know yet when I can get an appointment though.

  2. #56

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    Hey everyone,

    Ok, just warning that this could be a long post.................

    DH and I went and saw the FS this afternoon and I was soooooooooooo nervous. I told him about my cycle and how I haven't o'd yet and it is CD22. I told him that I o'd last month on CD22 but AF arrived on CD29 so not good. I told him that it took us forever to fall pg with Cooper and then how we lost him. He did a scan and said that there are some follicles there but they are small and I'm likely not going to O this month. He said that I definitely have PCOS which is not good hearing but in another way is because I kept getting conflicting answers from different obs. So yes I have it! Anyway he has put me on Metformin which is what I wanted so that is good. He said that this has nothing to do with why I lost Cooper but he is going to test everything so it can be ruled out. So I had a BT today (and they took half my blood!!!!) and I have to go back tomorrow for them to take the other half! Hopefully with all the tests they are doing we will be able to see what is happening and make a plan. We are seeing him again next Tuesday to get the results and to work out a plan. He said that we can try a cycle on Clomid and Metformin or we can do both of them and FSH injections. DH joked with the FS about buying a Tarago Van - how embarrasing!!!! This is supposed to be serious and he is joking about having 6 babies!!!!! I am just so glad that I am getting things moving now and didn't wait until next month. I know that it hasn't been long since I had Cooper but I am frustrated more that I am not o'ing because without this I can't have a baby. So hopefully with the FS, he can help make it happen I am just finding it so hard lately, not only grieving the loss of Cooper but also to go through the pain of not being able to fall pg.

    Deb - thank you for your help and guidance and always thinking about me. Thank you for pushing me to have the scan done. I am so glad that I have so I know what is going on. Even though I won't be o'ing this month, at least there is a plan for next month

    Nat - thanks for the chat and as always making me feel so much better. You are so knowledgeable and I appreciate everything that you have done for me. I should start to call you Dr Nat

    Mel - my test junkie friend how are you going? How is your testing going? I hope so much that this is your month still. I guess I can stop testing this month........nah it gives me something to do each day! lol. And it will be interesting to see what happens and what the tests say should be happening. I'm so sorry to hear about DH crazy ex - what a psycho!! That is awful about the little girl and her sores - I hope they get seen to soon and she gets better. I hope this is all sorted out quickly because you don't need the ex's drama right now and she needs to look after her kids. You said it - life is cruel. It is just so unfair when there are some wonderful mums that don't have their babies and then there are mums that need lessons on how to look after their babies.

    Spring - I am so happy that your scan went well and that your BP has come down. I hope you are taking it easy and resting.

    Bailey - lol at the comment about open legs - can I close mine now!!!! I asked the FS today if we still needed to bd and he said it wouldn't hurt. I thought I was off the hook now!!! I am sorry that you got upset on Sunday when you got home. It was so great to meet you and Spring and to talk face to face about our lives and our precious sweet angels. I hope you are doing ok today. You are probably busy - isn't the day about now?

    Jo - it is so wonderful to have you back. I have missed you. I understand that you needed your time and I hope you are feeling ok. I hope you managed to find a smile today. Stay with us - big hugs to you.

    Mish - fingers crossed for you that DH isn't too tired when he gets home. Hopefully he gets home in time for the big day.

    Tess - hope you are well. Take care.

    Scarlet - welcome and I'm sorry that you have joined us but I hope that you can find love and support here. Welcome to the test junkie group!

    A big thank you to everyone for supporting me over the last couple of days - I've been a bit of a nutcase but I appreciate everyone being there for me.

    Take care everyone and sweet dreams

  3. #57

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    Hi Lynn

    So glad that your appointment today was productive, I have been thinking about you and hoped that you would visit. The FS sounds like he is going to do every test under the sun which is great.

    Lol about DH and the Tarago. In all seriousness though, I hope one day that becomes the biggest problem that you have, where on earth are you going to fit all those kids.

    Well I hope they are kind to you tomorrow and don't take too much blood. I am so proud of you for being proactive and doing what you need to do to get the answers you deserve.

    Huge big proud

    Scarlet: I am glad that you have the referral to the recurrent m/c clinic. Hopefully they will help you find the answers so you never have to experience this pain again.

    Night ni you little gems

    Luv Spring

  4. #58

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    HI everyone,

    Lynn - I am so sorry you are going through this, but I am glad you went to have the scan. I really hope the FS can help your cycle work itself out next month. LOL at the Tarago, DH and I joke about the same things seeing as he has 3 (all back seat age) and we want a couple of our own! My sis and BIL laugh at us all the time about it. I have continued with the testing but no O on test this month, I dont think I will do anymore this month though. I think I have though - mind you considering I truly believed I was pregnant last month we all know I obviously dont know my body all that well. Take care of yourself and I hope you get a good night sleep and can wake up feeling slightly better tomorrow morning LOL at the test junkie friend - its so hard to resist huh!

    Spring - that is wonderful that Spring Jnr is doing so well. How exciting you will have that little bubba in your arms before you know it. Oh and really glad you got your blood pressure down, well done! Have you overcome your white coat syndrome?

    Scarlet - That's not a long post! Read mine LOL! I hope you get your appointment soon. Re DH getting a variation to the orders, we are trying to avoid anything to do with courts cause it cost us almost 8K to get the court orders put in place and it will cost us even more to get a variation. He is happy enough with the time he sees them, he just worries about them because obviously he cant get any straight answers from her. But I will try not to let her affect me, we have each other and whether she likes it or not the kids love their father (and me too to be honest). What an interesting job working in the courts, you must see alot of stuff - our problems would be mild in comparison LOL.

    Mish - I hope DH has saved some energy for his return Music & Lyrics was pretty good, definitely a bit of a chick flick but had some funny bits and I like both Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. Wow, he looks so old in it though! Even DH said it was ok (unless he was trying to be nice). Not the best movie I have seen, but enjoyable all the same - I am sure Gold Class helped a little.

    Hi to everyone, hope you have a nice night. I have the day off tomorrow and an appointment at another agency. The girl from this place rang me today to ask when I could start working, I said I havent even met with you yet LOL!

    Well sweet dreams to you all

    Mel

  5. #59

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    Hey Mel - I totally forgot to even ask about your work. Have you finished up yet? Are you just going to do temping?

    Thanks Spring. I hope we have a problem one day of not fitting all the kids in the car!

  6. #60

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    Hi girls,

    Mel - I am sorry to hear the ex is still stark-raving mad. It's so sad that some mothers will use their kids in this way just to get at their ex's. I think that she is just doing all of this for attention from him. Poor kids. plus this is the last thing that you and DH need to worry yourselves about when there is lots of BD'ing to be done. I hope that it is all sorted out soon.

    Lynn - I am so happy for you that you have gone to see the FS sooner rather than later, this will hopefully speed up your BFP. It must be good to know that you are now doing everything possible to get your bubs. It's great that you have the FS to help you make a plan.

    Mish - I hope that your hubby wasn't too tired when he got home

    Scarlet - Thats great you got your referral. I hope you get an appointment soon.

    Spring - Glad to hear that Lil Spring is doing well and your BP is normal. It must be great to have such an understanding OB and to get all of those scans watching your cute little blob getting bigger (he/she looks just like you by the way )

    Well guys, I am ok. I was just a little sad on sunday cos to hear about your little angels from you was just so hard. I don't talk much about it cos I don't want to get upset or upset family or friends by opening up, so it was kind of strange to really be able to talk about it all iykwim. It was really good though, it felt good to purge it without worrying about upsetting anyone, and especially to people who really understand. So thanks again.
    I am attending the SANDS support group tommorrow with my friend that I told you guys about (for those who don't know, a friend of mine lost her beautiful little man in december) so I will let you know how it goes. I hope they don't make you talk if you don't want to?? Not sure if I will feel like telling my story at the first meeting...we'll see.

    On another note, I am pretty sure that I O'd yesterday, or last night. We haven't done any BD'ing since Sunday night as I thought I would just try to increase my chances of having a girl. We decided we would try it that way just once to see if it worked. Have thought alot about the boy/girl thing alot over the last few days, and I can honestly say that I want a little girl not to replace Asha, but to give me a little hint to see what she would have looked like as she grew. Of course I would be happy with whatever sex we had, as long as it was healthy, but I think it would be nice to have her little sister. I hope that all doesn't sound too weird, I am finding it hard to put what I mean into the right words.

    I hope everyone is well and to you all.

  7. #61

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    Hi Lynn,

    Nah I havent finished up yet - Thursday 1st March is my last day and I am counting down the days Its exactly 6 working days, and then a whole week off. The lady from the agency I saw the other day thinks she can get me heaps of work at the Western Hospital which is only about 15-20 mins away from where I live... beats an hour travel into the city everyday!

    Mel

  8. #62

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    Hi Bailey, we must have posted at the same time.

    I dont know why she would want his attention, they cant stand each other! She definitely doesnt get in the way of BDing though, we have been very "active" this month cause I want (and need without being a drama-queen) so badly this month.

    I hope it goes ok at SANDS tomorrow. I havent been but from what I have heard you can go a hundred times and not speak if that is what you want to do. I am so sorry to hear your friend is going through this as well, it is so unfair :hugs: to both of you.

    Mel

  9. #63

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    Hey Mel,
    Just on your DH's ex, my uncle's ex wife did very similar things, and although I don't think she wanted to get back together with him or really even liked him, she definetly hated the fact that he had moved on and I think she just hated not having his attention. So everytime things were going well and everything was quiet, she would start
    up some kind of drama with the kids, like just messing with the visitation days etc. It was so sad as it was the kids that suffered because of her. Maybe attention isn't the right word, maybe she just likes to be in the middle of a drama. Well, I am so glad this hasn't affected your <------lol, I just love that one, it just so cute!

  10. #64

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    Yeah you are probably right, also she is very controlling and it must kill her that she no longer has control over his life - according to him he used to give her her own way all the time during their marriage to save arguments, guess its hard for her that its no longer the case. I agree with you that its the kids who suffer, we are adults and can look after ourselves but the kids rely on the adults to keep them safe, I think both physically and emotionally so its really sad that this is happening to them. I often wonder what goes on at home and if they are ok, I hope she doesnt give them a hard time or try to manipulate them - but we will never know!

    LOL at the icon, it is cute - almost rude but still cute

    I meant to say before for the daughter you wish for.

  11. #65

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    Mel - I am sure you and DH give those kids a stable and safe place to come to. Kids are smart too, they know that you guys love them, which is shown by the way that they run out to you when you go to pick them up....that to me says alot about their mother! It must be so hard for your DH to watch this. I just hope she gets over it soon, cos eventually it will come back and bite her in the butt!! Let's hope!

    Thanks for the pink vibes! As I said, we did the timing thing just once, cos if a little pinky doesn't come, then she wasn't meant to and I will be happy with another little bluey too! Actually I'll take twins..one of each maybe I am just being greedy now.

    When are you due to do a HPK?? I don't really understand them, but I think, according to my calculations (though they could be out...I was always pretty crap at maths) AF will be due on about 03MAR. Maybe I should post in the HPK thread...I am unsure when the earliest I can test is??

  12. #66

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    Hi again ladies,
    Just wanted to let you all know that on Channel 10 news they had a story on a Natropath that has apparently helped over 5000 (i think) couple conceive. Someone has posted a link in the Music TV thread here
    http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/...ad.php?t=31356

    I hope that link worked - I am not famous for my computer skills

  13. #67

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    Are you meaning my AF? Mine is due on 5th March (which also happens to be Nicholas' 6 month anniversary so I dont know how I will cope if she shows up ) So I guess that means I can start testing as of about 1st March. I might do my first test on 2nd March to celebrate my first day of unemployment LOL I am not all that hopeful it will work this month, I havent had a positive OPK so not really sure what is going on, plus it hasnt worked any other month so dont really see why this one will be any different. I will try not to drive myself crazy with the HPT's but it is so hard.

    ...now seeing as you O'd yesterday shouldnt you be having an "early night" iykwim?

  14. #68

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    Ha!! Dp went to bed hours ago, he gets up at about 4am for work Just me and the internet now!
    Yeah, I say do the test to celebrate being unemployed. I would put money on it that if you don't get a positive this time, you will the next time now that you have quit work. I didn't get a positive on the OPK either, but I just guessed from CM and slight cramping last night. As I said, fingers crossed! Just trying to be positive. But I will try not to get too worked up about it, it's only my first try. Hopefuly one of us in here will get a BFP though. We are throwing enough babydust around, someone is bound to get UTD.

  15. #69

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    My DH is sitting here playing a game on his laptop - so here I am LOL. But thinking I should probably get to bed soon god knows I need the beauty sleep, dont wanna look like crap tomorrow for this agency interview. I dont know about whether I will get a bfp in the next couple of months, I cant explain it but something is giving me the feeling its not gonna be that easy and that maybe there is something wrong - I am probably just being a worry wart though. It wouuld nice if we ALL got UTD soon, but I surely someone is bound to - there are enough of us trying.

  16. #70

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    Hi ladies
    Gosh you guys can talk - I will try to catch up on personals later this afternoon when work slows down.

    Just wanted to say 'good morning' to you all & welcome to Scarlet - sorry you have to be here, but I am glad you have been referred to the recurrent m/c team. I am sure they will be a great support to you too.
    T.

  17. #71
    kerry Guest

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    What a mixed parcel we have had today... good news in getting appointments and testing happening, but as always the pain is there... SO huge hugs to everyone and a dump truck full of pink and blue baby dust for you all.

    Sacrlet - not sure if I have welcomed you yet or given you may heartfelt commiserations for you loss.

    Lynn - Metformin is a wonderdrug, IMHO... I know quite a few girls who have used it and have had H&H pg's without too much waiting. It seems to be the best option for PCOS. I am glad that your f/s is on the ball and has been able to already give you some answers. Small follicles are better than none at all... it just means that this month is for practice.. maybe next month but boy when they mature things will be looking great. Baby dust for you too sweety. OH and with PCOS, the low GI/low carb is the way to go as well. I'm sorry things have been so crappy lately. I'm sorry you even have to know me.. oops there I go being stupid again.

    Mel - Partner's X's can really suck. I'm lucky in that mine only ever wanted to be my friend, my issues with her are due to the fact I think she neglects her child, oh and she is totally narcisistic (sp?) and only ever thinks of herself. She never tried to cause trouble like your x-factor does... just used to leave her special needs child on our doorstep (not even knowing if we were home) at any hour of the day and drive off before someone even answered the door. I'm going to email you a link for stepmums.. really helpful stuff... anyway details in the email.

    (More a vent than any sort of coherant communication!)
    OK rundown on my freak out...
    I have been suppressing everything for a long time, well since I got pg with Bridie. Because I feel in the month after loosing an angel at 7w4d I hadn't really grieved, then because I was pg I felt guilty grieving as if it would harm the baby, then I found out that I was having twins, then I lost one.... anyway you get the idea.. I wouldn't let myself grieve my 2 little angels because I was worried it would affect te baby... fast forward to now, XP and I have seperated, I haven't told family and friends about my angels since B was born, or even before she was born... so I have been pretty much carrying things on my own. Then there have been all the medical conditions that I have to deal with since they started investigating why I my babies fly to heaven. OMG this is so disjointed.. well when I lost the twins I wasn't issued a birth or death certificate, just a medical record of an 'abortion', luckily I know this is the jargon talk for miscarriage or I would be a bigger mess... I never got to see my boys.. and then it seems that in other states I would have been able to bury/cremate their remains and yet I don't even know what happened to their little bodies... so I sort of lost it a bit. Sometimes I spend all my time dealing with everyone (family) elses problems and my dd's health problems (she isn't majorly ill or anything, just a few annoying helth concerns) and being a working single mum that I juast don't deal with the me stuff. OK... none of this probably makes any sense.. its all over the place and crazy.. I think maybe it was just a vent.

  18. #72

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    Jo - please don't think that you are stupid. I appreciate everything you have said. I am sorry that I know all of you because I wish that none of us had to go through this, but having said that we are going through this and I am just so grateful that I have you all here to support me. I hope that talking about your babies, makes you feel a little bit better. When I first lost Cooper, I didn't want to talk about it and I said that no-one was to go into his room except my mum who i wanted to pack everything up and get rid of it. When I got home from the hospital the first place I went was his room. I just cried and cried and then I started to talk about him and what we had planned. To this day I talk about Cooper every single day and I know that is what gets me through. The fact that I talk about him, it is acknowledging him and that is what I want people to do. I didn't end up getting rid of anything because they were things bought for Cooper and they are still his things.

    I am just so happy that you are able to talk to us about your precious angels. You need time to grieve and you need to grieve in your way. Any way is normal and you need to do what is right for you. If you don't feel right in talking to your family and friends about your angels, you know that we are all here to listen and would love to hear about your angels. I notice that you now have names in your sig - that is beautiful.

    I hope that you are able to get some answers as to why you lost your angels. I'm sorry that you weren't given a birth certificate or the opportunity to bury your babies. Are you able to apply for a birth certificate? I'm not sure if they do it, but perhaps you could ask. I was devasted when I received Cooper's birth certificate but now I treasure it because it is another thing that acknowledges he was born.

    I know that you have Bridie to look after and you need to help her with her medical issues but perhaps you need to look after yourself as well. I'm sure you family will understand that you need to do this. I can't imagine what it is like to be a single mum but I hope that you have lots of support around you. It is good to vent, so please feel free to do it anytime because we are here to listen and help you.

    I hope you are feeling ok today. Big hugs to you

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