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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

  1. #109
    Mish Guest

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    Good morning lovelies - just a quick one as (yes again) I'm at work, and it's taken me ages to catch up just a little bit on all the conversation flying around last night!! Mel I know exactly how you feel about just not being up for it sometimes, even though you know you should - not sure if you saw my post about the hubby beginning to feel like nothing more than a donator!! I think sometimes it's ok to take a bit of pressure of ourselves and say not tonight - after all, sperm is reputed to live anywhere betweeen 2 and 5 days in our nice cosy environment , so missing one night shouldn't be a total disaster anyway!!

    Hi to everyone - sounds like there have been a few very emotional days for everybody lately, hope you all have a lovely relaxing weekend and do something nice just for yourselves (if that happens to involve the DH then well and good!)




  2. #110

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    OMG - A really good friend of mine, and one who came to Nicholas' funeral, just rang me and said her niece who was pregnant (she hadnt told me until today for fear of upsetting me) gave birth to twin boys at 23 and 1/2 weeks on Wednesday. She said that they were able to get 24 hours of steriods into her beforehand, but they both boys are critical and yesterday the heavier twins lungs collapsed earlier today but apparently they have stabilised him. They weigh only 750g and they smaller one is just a bit under that. They are apparently hooked up to all sort of tubes and machines and apparently no one can touch their skin cause it causes them to bleed. I feel so awful for them, I actually got teary when she was telling cause I keep thinking of these poor little babies and I just hope they arent suffering.

    Does anyone know what kind of chances of survival for these little guys would be? It just sounds so ominous. It is so awful but after everything I have been through, it actually took me a while to figure out what to say. I kept saying I am so sorry, I am so sorry. Eventually all the right things came to mind but I really could kick myself now for my initial reaction.

    Anyway, if anyone has any info on such premmie bubs I would appreciate your knowledge.

    Mel

  3. #111

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    Mel,

    I know that the survival of premie babies depends alot on there weigth anything over 550g is good, also so many different things come into play. it will be a touch and go time for least the next 6weeks. Infection is a big problem with small babies. I am sending all my prays to them.

    As far as not knowing what to say this is so natural, I did the same thing with my girlfreind the other day, just being there for her would help her so much im sure. I am really sending all my prays and thoughts there way.

  4. #112

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    Thanks Nat, that is good to hear they in a good weight range for survival. All anyone can do is hope I guess. Even after what I have been through I cant imagine how tough it must be to watch your baby suffering so much, I dont think I could cope with that. Apparently they are not in pain, but still they have such a fight ahead of them - not a great welcome to the world really

  5. #113

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    Hi Mel - I am so sorry to hear that your niece has given birth to her twins so early. It is a good sign that they were able to breath when they were born, but as you say all you can do is hope and pray.

    My baby was born at 24wks and unfortunately we did not have 24hrs for the steroids to work, we were told that if he could breath at birth he would spend the next 3-6mths in an incubator but his kidneys, brain and lungs were so under developed the chances of survival (and a healthy life) beyond 18mths of age were very slim. I am so sorry to be the bearer of bad news - but that is the worst case scenario and it is a good thing that they are of good weight and breathing at birth. I so hope things turn out good for her and the twins.

    Thinking of you all - take care. T.

  6. #114
    Mish Guest

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    Mel I really hope your friends Niece's babies will be ok, I will also be sending hopes and prayers in their direction. I really don't know much about premmies, however it has been in the news recently with the little bub who was born at 21 weeks finally going home - have you seen any of the coverage? There was a photo of this tiny, tiny little foot in between mum or dad's fingers - truly amazing. Apparently following this case the medical association in America is going to revise their guideline which currently states babies born before 23 weeks aren't 'viable' as they so pleasantly put it. This little baby defied all the odds and maybe the twins will as well...

    I don't think anyone really expects you to know what to say in that situation - I know whenever I've had to tell someone about yet another miscarriage I almost pray they won't say too much as usually we've heard it all before - telling someone you care and that you're there for them is enough...and good friends know that anyway...

  7. #115

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    Hi ladies
    Just want to say that I hope you all get those healthy bubs in no time at all - I am not going to be posting in here for a long time as my hospital appointment today recommended we do not try for at least 6mths.

    Just want to say thank you for your support over the last few weeks - it has been invaluable. I am sorry that I have not been able to provide support to you all in the same way.

    T.

  8. #116
    Mish Guest

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    Tess I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better while you were here, if you want to come on and chat while you're waiting for those six months to pass please jump on! I've had to wait six months from the last miscarriage before starting again and while at the time I was nearly screaming in frustration at the delay, I find now I have a much better state of mind and am feeling emotionally stronger, so I hope this rest will give you the same..

  9. #117
    kerry Guest

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    Tess - just because you aren't TTC doesn't mean you shouldn't post here. I am not TTC, my DH and I are seperated atm, but I feel more comfortable in here than in the miscarriage and loss forum. The support the girls can offer you here is so good and they don't care if you aren't TTC... well at least I don't think they do, they haven't told me to bugger off yet.

    Mel - OMG sweetie that is just awful. OK what I know about Premmies, sorry but just going to tell it how I know it... oh there is a premmie baby thread that you could try also.... being born at 24w and having the 24hrs of steroids are a bonus. Future health problems at 24w are likely to include, vision, breathing, cognitive development, motor skills, plus most organs... These little babies are likely to be in hospital, or in and out of hospital for at least the next 12 months and definately in there until their due date. That said 1 of my cousins was born at 24w after her mother's kidney's failed. She is now a perfectly healthy 27 year old who is engaged to be married and has no known adverse affects to her bumpy start... when she was born she fit into her father's palm, she was shorter than a can of coke and she weighed just over 400g. The oxygen tubes split the skin in her nose so it had to be sewn back together. She also needed surgury to create a bum hole as it hadn't fully developed yet. That said she has never needed glasses, she has never needed an asthma spray, she satrted school at 5, finished on time and did really well. She played rep level basketball... basically besides having asiatic eyes and being rather slim and having mild scars either side of her nose she is a perfectly 'norma' (whatever that is) woman. Besides that she is taller than me, and I am 5'9". Survival rates and complications are improving all the time.

  10. #118

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    Nat, Mish & Jo - Thanks so much to you all for the info you have shared. I really do hope that these little guys pull through. I guess the fact that they are stable at the moment is a good thing, isnt it just so awful to hear of these tiny little, innocent things suffering. I dont know the parents of these bubs, but I hate hearing about little ones suffering, what have any of these babies done to deserve this crap? Life is so cruel when there are not-so-nice people out there who get through life so easily (at least that is the way it appears).

    Tess - I read your thread about your hospital visit today, I am so sorry they couldnt give you any answers as to why you lost your precious Thomas Thank you so much for sharing you experience with me, I have said before but again I am so sorry this has happened to you. In regards to not posting anymore, the decision is completely yours, but Jo is right just because you are not TTC does not in any way make you unwelcome Definitely take a break if that is what you need, but if you feel it will help you I think I can speak for everyone that we would all be pleased to see you around. If we dont hear from you take care of yourself.

  11. #119

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    Mel - I am so sorry to hear about the premmie babies. I hope they are strong and can fight through the next few weeks. I feel for the mother, father and the rest of the family and hope that these babies make it through for them.

    Tess - You are more than welcome to stay if you wish. I started in this thread before I was ready TTC. If you need a break from here then I understand that. What ever you decide to do, please look after yourself and take care.

    p.s. Jo - we could never tell you to bugger off - you are more than welcome to be here
    Last edited by Lynn; February 23rd, 2007 at 04:27 PM. Reason: added ps

  12. #120

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    Hi Girls


    Tess If you feel you needa break then I can completly understand BUT please know that I to will not be TTC for about 5-6 months and am going to hang around so maybe you and I can hang together! We can be the ttc in the next 6months girlies!!! And just knowing you are there is support you do know that. Take care with what ever you decision and know we are all here for you. Im sorry that you did not get any answers about the loss of Thomas.

    Im going out again tonight and would love nothing more then to jump into bed and sleep but family comitments so I will try and post late tonight for personals or tomorrow morning. Have a great night all Mel lots of love and prays your way fro the twins.

    love and best to you all Nat.

    p.s Lynn - Thank you my lovexxxx

  13. #121

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    OH Mel, I hope with all my being that those precious little boys pull through. What a tough introduction to this world. I wouldn't know what to say either. The only thing I can do is to have them and their dear parents in my mind and thoughts and beam positive energy their way. huge to you and the family and a very gentle to the boys.

    Tess: I totally respect your decision to take a break whilst you are not TTC but I just want you to know that no matter what stage you are at in this journey, you are always welcome here. The hardest part of TTC is the wait, so I would hate to think that you were alone during the next 6 months. It is up to you honey, but know that you will be missed and promise to drop in and let us know how you are from time to time.

    I will finish personals later. We have an inspection tomorrow so I want to get the cleaning out of the way first.

    Big

    Spring

  14. #122

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    Hi ladies
    Thank you so much for your lovely comments and for making me feel so welcome. I will keep my eye on you all and be back soon I promise. Just need to get my head around everything at the moment I think.

    I did not realise that not all of you were 'actively' TTC at the moment - it is good to know I would not be in the wrong thread when I return.

    Good luck to you all and I hope to see those BFP's for those that are TTC very soon.
    T.

  15. #123

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    Well, I want to share with all of you gorgeous women...

    I got a yesterday! You could have knocked me over with a feather. I really didn't expect it at all. No clomid this month as you all know so I just didn't expect it! As you know my husband was trying to arrange his business trip around my ovulation!!!! I am quite shocked!

    So, today was my first Fragmin (like clexane - but I had a reaction to clexane last pregnancy so we are doing Fragmin instead) injection today. No problems. No rash so that is a relief! It's not a pleasant experience but there are worse things...

    I made the mistake of doing another hpt this morning and it was I think slightly lighter than yesterdays. I would slap anyone else over the wrist and I can't believe how uneasy it has made me feel. Tell me I am a lunatic! I am crampy (as I ALWAYS am in early pregnancy) and tired and my (.)(.) are feeling tingly and sore. OH YES!!!!! I rarely get morning sickness so I am not expecting to get it this time!

    So, here I go AGAIN! I am not really sure even when I ovulated but am thinking I was 14dpo on Thursday. So that makes me due around the end of October! Another Scorpio baby to add to our Scorpio clan (we have 2 scorpios at home and an Angel Scorpio).
    I am praying that this little one is meant to be and that all of these drugs that I am taking will do the trick and I will take this baby home.

  16. #124

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    OMG!!!!! I have tears rolling down my cheeks and tingles all over my body



    I am so increadibly happy for you.

    I know that this baby will be home with you, that is something I know.

    You have made my day, my week.

    I am just busting at the seams with happiness.

    Luv Spring

  17. #125

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    Yay!! Congratulations Flowerchild!!
    That is fantastic news.


  18. #126

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    OH now I have tears pouring down my cheeks. Do you know how special you all are????
    VERY SPECIAL. I just want us ALL to take home healthy babies this year. Please GOD! Thankyou both so much...

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