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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April

  1. #37

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    Actually just wanted to add, I think she is a control freak - I have met those sort of people before (DHs ex wife is one) and you can never win with them unless they feel they are in power and calling the shots and that everyone is doing and saying what they want... proof of this is that you were supposed to tell her where you were staying so she could control your weekend away - that is so wrong!


  2. #38

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    Spring - I think your MIL is a sad woman who has no self esteem and needs to feel wanted, loved and in control. Her son is her only *power* and I think she realises she really doesn't even have that. If she is so self centred to not recognise how much you both needed her in the past 6 months, then I don't think it will change in the future. You can let her get to you or you can pity her. And from what you have written, I can see that as much as she annoys you and has hurt you, you can see how pathetic she is being. She is not worth your angst and not worth the stress for your DH.

    Kirsty - so good to see you back and with such good news!!!

    Big to all

  3. #39

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    Sorry to crash, I just wanted to say huge congrats to Kirsty! So happy to see you back, and with such good news hun All the best for a very H&H pregnancy!

  4. #40

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    Hi Everyone - I am back!

    The kidlets and DH are having a kip so I thought I would check on you gorgeous ones.

    Firstly I want to say a HUGE congratulations to Kirsty!!!! That is wonderful wonderful news Kirsty and I am so happy for you. I hope you will join us in the pregnancy thread - your journey will be well supported by all of us who have travelled with you some of this way. Big big hugs my love - this is just the BEST news to come home to!!!!

    Spring: Your MIL sounds like she has some issues - good on you for remaining calm and respectful and speaking your truth to her. I hope now that something will sink in to her and she can make a choice to be loving and happy rather than not. I am glad you had some nice time away with DH to recoup your batteries. Belly rubs to lil Spring!

    Mel: How's that cold???? I hope it didn't stop the chocolate consumption all together! I hope Easter was good for you.

    Bailey: I hope you are okay - did you test again or not? I have been thinking of you while I was away and sending you lots of good thoughts.

    Nat: Good to see you again - I always love it when you pop in - Haappyy Easter!!!!!

    Lynn: How are you???

    Everyone else - sorry for not so great personals - I need to unpack but I just wanted to pop in and see you all!

    Me: Well we had a lovely time - I have had tonsillitits though so not feeling real chipper! We had lots of nice beach and park play and out for dinner every night. It was a great break for me! Lots of early nights and slow mornings - I loved it. Easter Bunny came and we did the big hunt for Easter eggs and that's always fun!
    Tomorrow is cd12 and I have my follie u/sound in the morning at 10am. I am hoping for a couple of gorgeous looking follies - all vibes greatly received!

  5. #41

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    Hi lovely ladies

    Hope you all had a nice Easter. Was meaning to jump on over the break and have a chat but couldn't get on for some reason - had to re-register.

    Happy birthday to all the beautiful angels looking over us. I think they are all having such a fun time and are scoffing away at the yummy easter eggs they have where they are...

    I wanted some advice over the weekend - was having mixed emotions about becoming pregnant - starting to feel guilty (for Tommy) if i were to become pregnant....very emotional and was very teary.

    Spring - as i was feeling these i was thinking about you - how did you feel when you became pregnant (emotionally) ?

    How is everyone else feeling knowing that you are going to conceive (and you will) ???

    Also, Spring -sorry to hear about your MIL. It will be her loss when your daughter (i am guessing) comes along and she will realise what a moo-moo she has been when she misses out.

    Kirsty - i haven't spoken to you yet but from just reading a few posts today it seems that a big congratulations is required - CONGRATULATIONS that is very good news !!!

    Bailey - where are you ? enjoying Bali i hope ! Saw Dean this morning (just got off the plane from Indo) and he is black !!! Lucky thing.... Now have you tested again ? Also, Happy Birthday to you today ! I have some news.....but will come later..

    Chelle - you mentioned that you have sore boobies and AF has not come - do a HPT !!!! After having 3 AF's in 5 weeks since losing Tommy, then nothing for 38 days now (thinking i was going in the opposite direction and not having AF for months !)- i have been thinking something is going on down there. I have had ab pains for ages, a little nausea and for the last week or so tingly boobs !!! Which brings me to some news (well not getting too excited yet).....

    I did a test this morning (i swore i would hold out till easter to test as i tested 2 weeks ago and got a BFN but had a feeling something was up) and i got a I couldn't believe it but at the same time thought there is no reason why i can't be.... I have since burst out crying feeling very scared, guilty, anxious - you name it - but i am not "happy" yet.

    I am going to test in the morning again to see if i get another BFP. I have to go - am going to cry again....i just want my Tommy back.....

    Sorry ladies - hello to everyone else....will talk later....

  6. #42

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    Tommysmum

    I am so happy for you!!!!! Congratulations on your .

    It is such an emotional time - the sadness for Tommy's passing and the excitement of this new person that is growing. Many feelings will come up - and it's confusing. Feel them when they come to you and come in to the Pregnancy thread where you will be helped along the way by women who have been on a similar journey.

    Tommy's looking over you and this new baby I am sure with a big big smile and lots of sticky baby dust!

  7. #43

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    Kirsty : babe, a BFP is wonderful news.. Congratulations on graduating from the TTC club. I hope you have a H&H pregnancy and that you have a wonderful little Christmas surprise.

    TommysMum: Babe, what you are feeling is totally normal. The yearn for Tommy will not fade just because you have a BFP, if anything, it only gets stronger because you begin to pass the same milestones such as your first scan, and every step reminds you of your little boy. I have found it to be a time of mixed emotions. Grieving for one child whilst trying to get excited about another child is just so confusing. It will begin to sink in babe, I hope that that BFP only gets darker and darker as the days pass. In some way I found it easier to grieve for Harry once I fell pregnant, I guess I had a reason to go on, a bit dramatic I know, but I felt like I had to pull myself together for the little baby inside me. I talk to Harry every day and ask him to look out for me and his little brother/sister. I know he is taking care of me so that makes me feel safe. It will be ok honey, those feelings of guilt will fade, you are not dishonoring Tommy by having another child, he would want his mummy and daddy to be happy :hugs:

    Mel: How are you feeling hun? A cold is no fun at all. I hope you are on the mend. I prescribe an insane amount of Chocolate as the cure (lol) do you think you could handle that? Best of luck for getting the loan for the house, if you could email me the plans also I would love to have a look. I find playing around with designs to be so much fun. PS, thanks for your sweet message on Friday.

    Flowerchild: I am glad you had a nice break. An Easter Egg hunt.. How much fun must that have been! Having tonsillitis is no fun though, I hope you are on the mend also. Good luck with your scan tomorrow, I am sending you some huge positive vibes your way.

    Lynn: How has your Easter been? I hope it has been ok. That you for your sweet text on Friday, it means a lot to me. Have you started the injections yet? I am not really sure how it all works but I know you were waiting on AF to arrive. I hope that the injections are just the thing that you need to get ovulating and that you can have your magical BFP soon.

    Chelle: I agree with Tommysmum, CD 33 and No AF, test babe!!! It can't hurt. I hope you get a wonderful surprise. Kick those kids off the computer and make sure you tell us ASAP.

    Bailey: I don't know if you have had a chance to log on to the net over there but if you do I just want to say that I hope you are having a sensational time. Enjoy yourself babe, you really deserve it. If AF hasn't shown up yet, then I hope you can get your hands on a dodgy barrrrrrley HPT and test. I can't wait to hear all about your honeymoon, well not ALL about it IYKWIM

    Nat: boy you get wifey of the year award, meringe baskets and banana cake, mmmm yum. I hope you and your DH and DS had a wonderful Easter break.

    Klee: Thanks for your post about Harry's birthday, I hope you are doing ok. As I have said before, just take it day by day, moment by moment, that is all you need to worry about now.

    Well after my major cyber-vent about my MIL I am feeling a bit better. Told mum about it today and she said that my MIL has psychological problems, there is a long history with my MIL that I won't bore you with, but she isn't a rational person who can be reasoned with. DH and I have agreed that she is not worth getting upset or angry about. I won't stop her from being involved in her grandchilds lifes, but I also wont be going out of my way to include her in our family. My mum and dad are such wonderful caring people, that I want my children to grow up in that sort of environment, not an emotionally charged, irrational angry environment.

    I am feeling a little bit down that I haven't really felt movements yet, but with Harry it wasn't until 20 weeks that I was sure that I could feel him move. I just hope it happens earlier this time. Anyway, I have another crazy woman scan this Friday so I get to see Lil' Spring then.

    I hope you are all well. I am going to stalk BB for the rest of the afternoon so hope to catch up on all you gals.

    I hope Easter has been kind to you.

    Big love
    Spring

  8. #44

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    I'm having big BB withdrawls girls. Where are you all? Are you all recovering from your chocolate hangovers? Anyway, hope all is well.

    Back to work tomorrow but I'll pop in when I get home.

    Nighty Ni
    Luv Spring

  9. #45

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    Tommysmum - congratulations! That is fantastic news. I can only imagine the feelings you have right now but I am sure they are all normal. Everything Spring and Flowerchild have said is spot on.

    Flowerchild - It sounds like you had a great weekend away. Hopefully nice and relaxing so that your body is ready for the big month ahead because it is your month! I hope your scan goes well and there are lots of beautiful follies. Sending you heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps of good vibes. I hope your tonsillitits is a little better.

    Spring - Wow! Where to start with your MIL. I am just so sorry that you have to deal with this. It is not something that you should have to worry about on top of grieving the loss of Harrison and growing a healthy bubba. I think Mel said it perfectly. I just can't believe that she thinks she has done nothing wrong and that not speaking to you for 6 months is ok!!!!! Unfortunately you can't pick your in-laws!
    Say hi to lil Spring when you see him on Friday. Do you have the whole day off?

    Nat - hope you had a good Easter weekend. No doubt you were very busy. How have you been?

    Mel - hope you are feeling a little bit better today. Did you spoil yourself with chocolate??? You should, you deserve it. How did the meeting with the builder go today?

    I hope everyone else had a good weekend.

    Well no AF here! I know this is a TTC thread..........but I just want the witch to arrive!!!! This feels like deja vu - I was waiting for AF to arrive last month because my body did nothing. I can't start this month if she doesn't arrive. She is so annoying. Comes when we don't want her and doesn't come when we do want her It is just a waiting game. I am getting a bit frustrated to be honest. I just hope that this month works because I haven't even started the injections but I don't want to be doing it for month after month. I think I am doing as much as I can - I have the moonstone and rose quartz under my pillow (thanks Deb) and I have another rose quartz on my bedside table with a beautiful pair of booties (thanks Michelle) and some babydust (not sure where that came from!) and I'm doing acupuncture and meds................if there is anything else I should be doing, please let me know! (besides being put in a straight jacket LOL!!) Obviously a lot of this when the time is right (gotta love it - haven't used it in a while!) I just need to be really positive that my body will finally do what it is supposed to do and that it responds well to the injections.

  10. #46

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    Hi Girls,

    Tommysmum - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am sure what you are feeling is pretty normal, but Spring is right - Tommy would want his mummy and daddy to be happy and he will know that this is the only way happiness can even begin to return to your lives.

    Spring - I am feeling a little better today, and yes I have eaten an unbelievable amount of choccie - I feel a little sick now Good decision about your MIL, it is hard to stop contact as I guess she is your childrens family but definitely let her do the hard work. Dont worry about feeling a little down, that last few days have been full on with worry and I am sure Harry's 6 month birthday has left you a little worse for wear. You will start feeling lil Spring soon, although it wont take your worries away (if anything maybe make you stress more - mind you isnt that what motherhood is anyway - worrying?) it will be another step closer to meeting your bub in person, I cannot believe how time is flying. My life seems to be dragging severely but everytime I look at your ticker I realise its flying by. I will email you the plans of the house by the way.

    Lynn - Went ok at the builder, my Mum came with us to have a look at the house and she thought it was beautiful. They gave us costs and said their promotions change all the time so it may vary slightly when we sign up so we asked her to give us the absolute maximum price we would be looking at with all of the inclusion we want and we were reasonably happy. The lady said they cant put any paperwork through until the land is titled and because DHs work hasnt finished designing it as yet it could be a few months but that is ok we can wait. Now all we need is to meet with the guy who owns all the land (a "friend" of DHs boss) and try to work out a price for our block, although they have our chosen one on hold for us until we make a decision. Did you end up being able to view the house in the end? I know when we chatted the other night you said you couldnt view it but I cant remember if you ended up seeing it or not - my mind is awful huh! I am sorry that AF hasnt shown as yet, I am sure she will soon but I can imagine how frustrating it is. Do you have any symptoms that give you a feeling she may be on her way? Any bloating or anything? It is so true that when we dont want her she rears her ugly head but when we do she takes her jolly old time... B!#@H!

    Deb - So glad to hear you had a great weekend and a lovely easter. I love an easter egg hunt, usually there are no eggs for me though which makes me sad but it is funny watching how excited kids get. Last year my nephew did one at my parents house and he had this bob the builder tin and he would find the eggs and put them in and when he wasnt looking one of us would take a few out and put them around the backyard again, he got so excited when he found more and had no idea what we were doing - it was the longest easter hunt ever but so much fun. Good luck for your follie scan, let us know how you go. I hope you see some beauties!

    Chelle - How are you going? Have you tested?

    Bailey - Hope you are having a ball and relaxing in the sun. Same question for you - have you tested?

    Hi to everyone else.

    Well not much to report for me, but was reading through the threads and found one on something called Ovulex which is for female infertility - but I was googling (as you do ) and found a remedy called Amberoz which is apparently for male infertility. Does anyone know anything about this? Deb thought you might have some info. It says it increases male fertility and sperm count, well DH doesnt have a low sperm count but poor quality sperm so I was wondering if anyone know if this would help make his swimmers more healthy? God, since we got those results I spend every night online trying to do research, I am such a nutcase.

    Oh well, post is long enough so I'll be off now

    Mel
    Last edited by Mel1977; April 9th, 2007 at 10:29 PM.

  11. #47

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    You are not a nutcase Mel! You are focussed. I haven't heard of that supplement for males - however there are some good ones. It is worthwhile popping into a healthfood store and asking. Usually they have a combo of herbs and minerals. Zinc is a big one and horny something or other (yes it is horny goat weed or something I am not kidding!)
    The house is exciting!

    Lynn:
    You are doing it all my love and that baby is not far away - keep believing and keep positive. Visualise that positive preg test - even get one and draw a positive mark on it and keep it. The power of positiviity is far reaching. Act as though it has already happened. This is your month too okay!!! I hope your period hurries itself along. Are you beginning your injections from cd2? I am assuming so. Usually with the fsh you will ovulate pretty well on cd14 so that's an exciting thought!

    Spring: We can't have you having BB withdrawls!!!! I understand about the movements. You may feel Lil Spring a bit earlier than Harry but not necessarily. Do yo know if your placenta is anterior or posterior? An anterior placenta (at the front) will often delay detectable movements as the placenta acts as a cushion. Remember it is usual and normal to not detect movement before 22 weeks. So try to remind yourself of that when you feel down. Sending you a big hug this Friday you will see Lil Spring bouncing around in there beautifully.

    Tommysmum I hope you are feeling a little better today and that soon you will begin to feel the joy of this new little one. :hugs:

    Nat, Klee, Chelle
    and everyone else big hellos!!!

    Today is FOLLIE SCAN DAY - da da!!!!! I am excited and nervous too! I have that full feeling that I have had before with clomid prior to ovulation. I am hoping for a good result. I will let you all know this afternoon!

  12. #48

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    Goodluck on the follie scan Deb, I can just see lovely big ones in there ready to go, go go!!!
    Oh Mel, you are not a nutcase, just like me always checking things out to see whats what! I think you have to, as it keeps us busy and we need to be busy.
    Lynn, she is such a cow, I hope she turns up very soon for you. Im praying for big Af vibes to come your way. Now that sounds really silly but you know WHAT I mean.Come on AF...

    Springangel, you will feel your lil spring very soon Im sure, wow, on the MIL front. I think all the best advice has been given, and I hope you realise you have done everything possible there.My hat is off to you. You def dont need to be putting all your energy into her. Just how selfish can one person be...you take care of yourself and your bundle and of course DH. Hes been a real jem with it all.
    Well as for me, I finally tested cd35 and a BFP! I just still feel like AF gunna visit, so Im so negative about the whole thing, and I just want to be excited... Im finding it real hard to not just want to cry and I cant shake that I will bleed or If I dont the scan will show nothing when the time comes, if it gets that far....I hate feeling like this. Poor Dh dusnt know what to say... How on earth do I get into a positive frame of mind when I dont know where to start!
    Im so sorry for my selfish rant, but I have got it really bad with this positive news.I dont think I was thisnegative back in December, I think I was more positive...aarghhh. My Doc is away till next week and I know the only way to get over this bump is probably with a HCG, but then there is the waiting for that....Im sure I just need to go on a long bike ride with the kids, and clear my head and let the positive back in! Im am truly greatful for this BFP, dont get me wrong, but after so much heartache, its very hard...not like me at all..
    Big Hi to everyone else, I hope day is treating you well. Take care

  13. #49

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    hi ladies, will do personals after i have a catch up later in day.

    just had to have a bit of a vent or I guess a confession, last week was quite an emotionally charged one, not so much the tears but other emotions. I'm not usually one for confrontations or aggression but I had a go at my mother, which I feel terrible about, but the worst one was I gave my 3 year old nephew a push, it wasn't a big one, but one nonetheless. I feel dreadfully awful about it, I told my sister and she was okay about it, but I still can't help but feel guilty about it. He has such a connection with Phoebe its almost eerie.

    My life is just going so crazy at the moment, both good and bad (i will update you soon), and I just feel its going to hit a big crescendo soon. It kind of scares me.

    Who would have known one person could feel so many emotions at once.

  14. #50

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    sorry one last bit, to resolve part of it, and as much as it hurts me to do so, I am going to take myself out of the situation, away from my nieces and nephews for a little while, just until I regain my sense and feel comfortable within myself that nothing like that will happen again.

  15. #51

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    Oh WOW Chelle!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for your !!!!!!!!!!!

    It is truly normal to feel like you do - you have had so much heartache it is hard to sometimes believe that good things are coming. This is a good thing! There is another new life growing inside you. Go on that bike ride and clear your head and keep coming in here and let us all support your journey.

  16. #52

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    Hey all,

    Wow you ladies can talk! LOL! I can't keep up!

    Well no sign of AF turning up yet, but then it's not due for 2 days yet. Just my luck it will turn up tomorrow, which will be 3 months since we lost Storm, That will probably make me feel worse!

    Hope everyone else is well!

  17. #53

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    Chelle - can we say 'I told you so' Congratulations!!!! I am sure what you are feeling is completely normal. I wish you the H&H pregnancy.

    Jo - I hope that you get your BFP too! Wow that would be 4 this month! Go girls!
    I will be thinking of you and Storm tomorrow. What a beautiful name. I don't think you have told us her name before. I shall light a candle for your angel tomorrow

    Klee - I have been thinking about you. How are you going babe? There are many stages of grief and I think you are going through the angry stage. I went through it about the same time that you are now. I was angry at everyone and anything they said to me was wrong. I was angry at the world because it took my baby and because it just wasnt' fair. Be kind to yourself. I'm sure you mum and sister will be understanding of what you are going through :hugs:

    Deb - how did it go???????? I have been coming in and checking on you but nothing so far. I hope it all went well. Thinking of you

    Mel - welcome to the 'nutcase family'!!!! LOL. No you are not a nutcase, you are just like the rest of us - trying to reach our dream. And you will get there babe, very soon. Just stay positive and believe and it will happen. I am always on the internet looking into things. I think it is good to know yourself what is going on and what you can do to help. I found the drug used to bring on AF on the internet before I even saw my FS so when he prescribed it, I knew he knew what he was talking about. Of course he should, he is a specialist, but it is good to keep them on their toes.
    How exciting about your house! No the plans never came through on the email. Can you send to me again please. I would love to see them. Is the block of land near where you live now?
    I thought I had some symptons but it is just my body playing tricks with me. I sit there every night saying to DH I have cramps and then I go to the loo and start cursing because it is nothing!!!!!

    Hi to everyone else!

  18. #54

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    Afternoon All,

    I cant keep up with all the talk in here but Im going to post and try and catch up on whats been going on in here!

    Deb I can see you are on is there any news on those little girls behaving the right way?

    OK not sure who I have sent big congrates to on ALL the BFP in here at the moment so here go! To Chelle, Kirsty and Tommysmum way to go on the BFP "You Go Girls" its is so great to see it happening Now you all need to send some of that babydust to Lynn, Mel & Deb.

    Chelle It is so normal to feel the way you are. You try to find something positive but want to protect yourself at the same time from any more hurt or pain. I hope we can help you in here find your way through till that baby is crying in your arms.

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