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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April

  1. #91

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    In saying all of this - I actually have to get UTD before I can even think about naming a child Olivia


  2. #92

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    Mel: you will get that magical BFP soon and you can name that child whatever you want, although I would expect some sideways glances for Olive Oil (lol)

    Hey and don't presume too much, I think Olly is a great nickname for Oliver and Olivia but lets not get into semantics otherwise I am going to trip up and give away if there is a pink or a blue flavour in there (he he)

    Anyway babe, time to do the dishes and crash for the night.

    Take care and we will have to catch up and have a chat soon. Sometime this weekend would be great if you are free.

    Lv Spring

  3. #93

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    LOL thats the idea... I am trying to trip you up Oh well cant blame a girl for trying

    Would love to have a chat and catch up this weekend, I am out on Saturday night but other than that I plan to bludge!

  4. #94

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    Cool, I would love to catch up. How 'bout I give you a call on Friday night.

    Can't wait.

    Nighty ni
    Lv Spring

  5. #95

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    Yeah sounds great, I am working til 6 but should be home from 7.30 onwards. You can fill me in on your scan... by the way I was gonna say if you happen to get any piccies I would love to see them

    Goodnight, sleep tight

    BTW too funny about the lions head tattoo dream

  6. #96

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    Mel,
    When you go to the Supermarket try to steer cleaar of fortel - I found they didn't for tell anything!
    If it were me I would phone Lullaby today and get some opk's as well. That way you can test away to your hearts content. I know you want to start today so do the supermarket thing but for the equivalent money at the Supermarket you will get about 20 tests at Lullaby and usually the supermarket tests have 5 in a box.
    I have everything crossed for a positive opk for us both!

    Lynn: How are you my love???? Come in and let us know how you are - I am thinking of you....

    Everyone else I will pop back later....

  7. #97

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    Lynn are you out there????? Thinking of you and sending you a big hug....

  8. #98

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    Sorry Deb - I am here. Thank you so much for the information you have given me and for checking on me. Everything you said, does make sense and I'm glad that FS is taking a positive approach.

    I'm ok. I guess I just had a lot that I needed to get off my chest yesterday and while I feel the same way today, I am trying to be positive. I am just frustrated firstly of not being pregnant yet but also that my body isn't even ovulating. It is also frustrating that body has not responded to Clomid and now that AF won't arrive. It is exactly what you and Mel said - it is a cycle where I seem to be stressed about everything and it just goes around and around - grieving for Cooper, frustrated at not being able to conceive and other things that happen around me. I am trying to not think about things that are out of my control and just concentrate on myself. I decided that I think I need to be seeing a counsellor again so I spoke with someone at SIDS yesterday at length and they have suggested that I go to the Stillbirth Support Group next Wednesday and then make an appointment to see a counsellor. I want to be able to talk to a counsellor that has had a Stillbirth so they understand what I am feeling. That is why I stopped counselling last time because I just thought that she didn't get me.

    I went to acupuncture this morning and asked him to 'sort me out'. Let's hope he can. Just to top everything off, I have an ingrown toenail and it is so painful. Talk about kicking me while I'm already down. Anyway I am seeing a podiatrist this afternoon to see if he can fix it.

    I am also stressed about the holiday that we booked for next week. When I was booking it, it didn't feel right and now I wish we weren't going but DH is keen to go because we are going to see his brother. It is just frustrating as we can go and visit them any time but I can't leave this for another month. Why do I make life harder!!!!

    I spoke with the clinic this morning and told them that AF hasn't arrived so I am going for a BT tomorrow morning to see what is going on. I also told them about the holiday and they said that I can have BT and u/s done on the gold coast but I will need to be here on CD4 to pick up everything and for them to show me how to inject. They said to just wait and see when AF arrives and then we can sort it out.

    Thank you for the hug - I needed it.

    How are you going? Did you miss your surge? I hope not :hugs:

  9. #99

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    You did some really positive stuff yesterday Lynn so good on YOU!!!! I understand about needing to talk with someone who has journeyed in a similar way - it's true that some find it really hard to "get it" but fall famously short. What you have done in seeking out someone to debrief with is a really positive way to deal with all you are feeling.

    It's great about the blood test tomorrow - that will give you an idea of what the go is with your period. It's great that you can have your monitoring done while you are on holidays - it's all going to work out Lynn it really is!

    I am going okay - I have lots of abdominal discomfort and my belly is quite puffy. The obs feels certain I didn't miss the surge and I concede a fairly unhealthy dose of paranoia sets in with me on Clomid.... arggghhhhh!!!!!!! Anyway my follies were sitting pretty on Tuesday and we dtd that night and last night so if I ovulated I have the bases covered! . I haven't had a positive opk today and just now I have arrived back from town to pick up my parcel from the gorgeous Jodi at Lullaby (thanks Jodi ) so I will be testing again at 2pm. My obs is on holidays but she has recently set up a fertility clinic (ivf etc) with another 2 obs on the Sunshine Coast - so that is where I went for my u/sound on Tuesday and where I will go again tomorrow if I don't surge today. The plan is to give me a trigger shot tomorrow if I don't surge on my own. I hope I surge on my own but if not it looks like it's all systems go tomorrow. Then the paranoia sets in... What if the follies have shrunk, disappeared, multiplied by too many..... ARggghhhhh this is a tough trip sometimes hey????
    I am off for now - the kiddies are getting a treat for lunch - party pies!!!! We are usually an organic food house but they wanted a treat and it's a cold wet day here so we are gonna hit the sauce bottle!!!!

    I'll pop back later and another big to you my love... Just know that there are lots of us in here barracking for you and sending you lots of love....

  10. #100
    Heybacko Guest

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    Hi ladies, I do feel like I am intruding but really I wanted to ask some advice from Flowerchild if that's okay.

    I feel really silly asking as it may sound half panicky/half clutching at straws but I hope you'll understand.

    I have four boys, all conceived easily with fairly trouble free pregnancies. But I have had two missed miscarriages - one was at 16 weeks (but baby dated at 12w3d) and then again at 14 weeks (but baby dated at 11w5d). I am not young (42) and I am worried about what I have read about antiphospholipid (sp??) syndrome.

    Basically, I have read that it develops when you get older and can cause recurrent miscarriage and fetal death. I am now worried that I may have this as my pregnancies in 2005 and 2006 were fine. Would this have shown up in my BT that was ordered before my D&C?? Do you think I should ask to be checked out for it?? Do I fit the 'criteria'??

    I'm so sorry to sound panicky but I can't understand how I can carry 4 children and then miscarry twice in 8 months at 3 1/2 - 4 months.

    Please can you let me have any info you have or tell me whether I am being silly and trying to 'catagorise' something that may just be bad luck.

    Thanks loads and sorry again

    Alex
    xxx

  11. #101

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    Thank you so much Deb. Your guidance, support and knowledge is so appreciated. You really are a remarkable woman. When, I say when I get this baby, it will know all about Aunty Deb! Because when I finally get this baby, it will be because of all the help I have received from you (and all of your girls )

    It certainly is a rough trip. But I am glad that I am able to share the ride with someone who can support me. I hope I can support you too.

    Good luck with the scan tomorrow. I hope those follies are looking as big and beautiful as ever. I know the feeling of have they shrunk or disappeared, but I know that yours will be there ready and waiting to burst!

    After talking with Nat today I have decided that I am going to start yoga. I need to do everything possible to help me on this journey and I think that yoga will help me to relax and not stress as much. So I am going up to the gym this afternoon to talk to them - thanks Nat!

    thanks again Deb

  12. #102

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    Hi Alex,
    Never feel like you are intruding - this thread is for any woman who can be supported or who can support the journey that so many of us are on...

    I have *seen* you around and when I saw your signature I wanted to ask if you had had some testing but thought it better to wait.

    Here is a link to some research that I collated. You may find some of it helpful - I hope so.

    I believe that there are causes for recurrent fetal loss that have not yet been found - or more accurately perhaps that we don't have names for.

    You will find in the link my explaination for APS. I believe, that APS can be pregnancy induced - so until you are pregnant your bloods may not show that you have APS. This belief is shared by some professionals and poo pooed by others - I remain steadfast in my belief! My bloods in a non pregnant state just scrape it in as "normal". Only just, which lead the more astute doctors to believe that something just may be going on. I have never been tested whilst pregnant. I also have a history that indicates some type of autoimmune condition. Having said that they were things I truly overlooked until I said "enough" and I am going to find a reason. APS also has flare ups and can remain dormant.

    There is ALWAYS a reason. Did you have chromosomal testing done on your babies? Were your babies little girls or little boys?

    I will give you a little brief insight into me and that may help you to look differently at YOU. When I was about 15 I developed swollen joints, low grade temp and a butterfly rash on my torso. I tested negative for RRV and Dengue Fever (I lived in tropical North Qld Aust). However all bloods showed I was in an inflammatory state. I gradually recovered and never thought about it again. Since then intermittently (maybe 4-6 times a year) I get a rash over my abdo and or chest that comes suddenly and then disappears. The last time I had it was the week I lost my last baby. These things show some type of autoimmune condition. Often autoimmune conditions lay dormant - they always need a trigger. You are right about APS and age - age being a trigger to the illness - perhaps age and pregnancy (due to the hormonal response pregnancy is often a trigger for autoimmune conditions - think diabetes etc)

    You may get tested and your bloods are all clear - ask for copies of the results - have a look at the levels. Get a consult with an obs that is trained in immunology. I am sure you will have someone in NZ. If not you can contact me and I can give you the name of a guy in Australia who is great and he will do phone consultations. I always cringe when I hear women say I was tested and it's all clear. There is much we don't know - Lupus (another autoimmune disease) wasn't testable until the early 80's. Maybe you have something that hasn't got a name yet.

    The good news is that APS is treatable in pregnancy with good outcomes. Of course there is no guarantees but as a gorgeous doctor said to me a few months ago.."without drugs it is almost a given that you won't take home a baby". Asprin, prednisone and clexane are used. Some doctors use only the clexane and others will be happy to go "the whole hog". I am 39 and with 3 mid trimester losses I am not prepared to risk any more. I have the "whole hog" on board. The prednisone has caused a lot of weight gain and moodiness too I think. It's worth it to hold that precious baby/ies that I know are out there for me.

    If I can help in any other way, help with info, contacts, please let me know. What I do ask is to PLEASE get some more bloods done and PLEASE seek out a specialist for a consult.

  13. #103
    Heybacko Guest

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    Oh Flower, thank you so much for this, it is excellent - I will go through it with a fine-tooth comb!!!

    I have just come back from having my NZ Immigration medical with my GP and he was FABULOUS - I told him all my worries and what I had read and how it was scaring the pants off me, etc,etc. He basically said, 'let's get the NZIS stuff out the way and then start testing and investigating' AND he mentioned an Immunology guy in Wellington. Very very supportive at this stage, I was seriously impressed as this is NOT what I am used to with UK antenatal care!!

    I'll read up on all the stuff you have linked me into and really get my act together - the only other thing that makes sense is that I do sometimes suffer from a rash across my tummy/rib cage (a bit like a sweat rash/allergic reaction) - I don't know what butterfly rash would look like but mine is little tiny pimples of varying redness, sometimes with a white pimple if I scratched it and it gets icky. The only time this has been commented on in the UK is to rule out OC (obstetric cholestasis) and I didn't really fit the symptoms of that (itching soles of the feet, etc) - they put it down sweating/sleeping on my stomach/hormones or all of the above!!

    I didn't have any chromosonal testing on the babies nor do I know whether they were girls or boys - I have only got boys and at one point I was convinced I was killing baby girls and that was why I was m/c ing (we had been trying the Shettles timing stuff hoping for pink!! It was only a bit of fun as my husband is one of 5 boys and we would be quite happy with another boy!!) but i was convinced I couldn't carry girls.

    I WILL follow this through, especially as we are TTC after AF shows her ugly red face - at least my cycle is pretty easy to follow and I know I ovulate spot on 13 days and that my Luteal Phase doesn't change, etc, etc.

    I'll keep you posted as to progress and whether I feel I am being fobbed off, thank you so much for this, even it turns out to be nothing, it will ease my worries and stress (I was going to take low-dose asprin myself but wasn't sure if it was dangerous if not prescribed!!) - I just don't feel it can be 'bad luck' although I am happy to be proved wrong.

    Like you said, we desperately want another bubs (blue OR pink) and I am not taking a chance now without checking this out - sorry for the waffle but I feel really motivated now, especially after being taken seriously by my GP.

    Thanks again
    Love to all in this thread, I will keep in touch

  14. #104

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    It is wonderful that you have found such a supportive GP - what a great start AND that he mentioned an immunologist woo hoo!!!!!

    It would be lovely if you feel you could join our thread - I hope your journey to TTC that next little soul is short and sweet.

  15. #105

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    Good morning everyone.
    Thinking of you today Spring as you have your u/sound...

    Lynn: Today is bloods day for you - I am assuming your results will be through in the afternoon. I am thinking of you - and hoping that they tell you that that period is right on your doorstep. Yay about the yoga. I do yoga and meditation and find it immensley beneficial - I hope you do too.

    Mel: What did you decide with those opk's???

    Nat, Heybacko, Jo, Chelle - how are things? I will come back in this afternoon for a chat.

    Well no positive opk for me yet - my Lullaby one yesterday was darker but certainly not a positive... I had to test again this morning and bfn so my u/sound is at 9.30am. I am feeling a bit stressed.... What if there are too many follies and they won't trigger me, what if they have disappeared... What if..... Then I tell myself to be zen and that it's all okay.... In between hot flushes that is!!! The pelvic congestion is quite marked today - even in my back so something must be happening in "ovary land".

    Wish me luck and I will be back in the afternoon after our sojourn to the coast!

  16. #106

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    Hey Deb - wishing you all the best with your scan today. I know you have a lot of 'what ifs' but I'm sure those follies are there, nice and big, and just waiting for a little help to burst! You have probably already left to go to the coast so you won't get to read this before you leave, but just know that I am thinking of you. I hope you have a lovely day out. Take care and would love to hear how you went when you get back.

    luv&hugs
    Lynn
    xxxxxxxxxxx

  17. #107

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    Flowerchild - good luck with your scan - i hope ovary land is behaving (and your tummy settles) for you. Will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.

    Lynn - hope you are feeling better and taking it easier. The SIDS and KIDS meeting sounds good - i will be there (that is if you are going to the Rozelle meeting) on Wednesday. I don't think there will be that many people there (a few people are away) but there will still be enough to have a good talk.

    Spring - good luck with your u/s today - very exciting to see little spring there again.


    On Wednesday two people implied that i was pregnant (well they weren't wrong but i didn't think you could tell yet). The first was some old fart trying to sell me sausages at some markets...he said "good for the baby - boy or girl ?" - i said "sorry ??" he repeated what he had just said "i said NO there is no baby"...forgetting that i was only just pregnant and remembering that my belly is there from Tommy "so matey i have just had a f*** stillborn - how is that for an answer". LOL. My mum was there with me and she doesn't know yet (not going to tell for a while).

    Then i get home and our tradesmans (he is installing our kitchen) wife was there and put her hand on my tummy and said "are you pregnant". I nearly said yes but then said oh no, it is still my belly from Tommy. She said oh you looked different last time i saw you. I actually think it was the dress i was wearing..it has a seam under your boobs and then is flowing so you can hide anything (well i thought you could) under there. It does make your boobs puffy though....so i can see why these people said something,

    To top it off - i told DH what happened that day - and he just said "oh yeh, you look so fat in that dress" ! Geez the compliments were flowing that day

    Hope everyone is well and are having a good day.

  18. #108

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    OMG!! How rude can people be. I am so sorry that you had to go through that Tommysmum. Why do people think it is ok to touch your belly anyway (pregnant or not!!!). I think you should have told them about Tommy that might stop them from doing it to someone else. But then again you do have protect your privacy. I know the type of top you are talking about. Last year when I was pregnant that style was everywhere. I didn't buy many maternity clothes because I could just buy this style - tight under the bust and then just flowing. Although they are not maternity I still can't wear any of them now because I wore them when I was pregnant...................but I will wear them soon Yes I am going to the group at Rozelle on Wednesday morning. That is great that you are going to be there. Will Bailey be back? Well you will know which one is me - I will be the new girl!!! and probably sitting in the corner rocking! LOL

    Well I had my BT this morning and once again was told I have horrible veins! Nice! I drank a 600ml bottle and that still didn't help. They have told me that I need to drink a lot more. So at the third attempt she got some blood. The pin cushion is back! I will have the results late this afternoon so hopefully it is someone good...........I'm staying positive.

    Spring - good luck at your dr appointment. Say hi to lil' Spring for me. Let us know how you went.

    I hope everyone has a good day

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