I've been reading your thread for some time now and a couple of you have kindly asked me to step over and join your chat.

I am at a very low point today.

How do you cope when you get a BFN? AF arrived for me yesterday and for the next 12 hours I deluded myself into thinking it was implantation bleeding, but no, the gush came forth.

This was our first month of 'trying' after losing our son at 38wks last November.

I have been suprised at the depth of my sorrow today and have been in tears for much of the day (since 5am). I'm exhausted.

The idea of this sort of despair every month we fail, added to the grief of our son just seems too awful to contemplate.

How do you guys do it? Do you feel relief when you see a BFP? Do subsequent -ve results seem less painful than the first?

We did go to a lovely restaurant for lunch and I had a glass of champange - figured the previous weeks/months abstinance from all things alcohol and coffee related can go out the window on a day like today. (I was pleased DH had the day off).

I told him that every month we aren't successful he'll have to take me to a special lunch....I managed to not cry in the restaurant, but did as soon as we got home.

I'd just like to hear how some of you cope when this awful time of the month arrives.

Thank you
Nicole