My dh and I lost our second dd at 39 weeks in October. We are thinking about ttc again in
January which will make it 3 months since dd2. Our ob has cleared this And happy for us to try again really whenever we want. So I guess I am just wanting to hear experiences about ttc again after a loss - feeling, any advice - not sure just know that I want to hear about others stories xo
Im so sorry to read about the loss of your daughter.
We lost DD3 at 18 days (SIDS) back in 1999 and I knew that if I wasn't pregnant again before her 1st birthday I wouldn't have anymore children. I just managed to sneak in with DD4.
I wanted to wait until I felt the time was right and until I could enjoy the pregnancy without being totally overwhelmed with worry and for me this meant avoiding any chance of the babies being due around the same date.
You'll know when it's the right time to try again. Every couple is different.
When did I start thinking about it? Before DS was even born. As soon as we heard he'd died, I turned to DH and informed him that we would be trying again straight away. I think it was shock, to be honest, but we did start as soon as we felt we could. DD was conceived about four months later.
Everyone's different though, a lot of people hold off for quite a while to process the death. For me personally I think TTC gave me a distraction from having to face up to it all
After DS1 died, we waited 6 months. Partly because we were waiting for genetic results but also to mourn. After DS2, it took about 9 months. I was deeply depressed and we didnt think it was safe for me. Again, we were also waiting for test results.
it's going to be tough no matter how long you wait. We made sure we had set up the support we'd need in terms of counselling and obs/midwives.
Same as Tenibear. Her post could have been written by me.
Took about 3 months to try and fell in the 4th month. My only suggestions (and i know this from experience) is to think about your dates. We didn't do the maths and were due within a week of my DS original due date and this made some holidays and dates especially close to the date of his passing incredibly hard.
We had to wait for 6 month after we lost our daughter at 35weeks, because I had a c-section. I was like Tenibear, I was desperate to try again as soon as I held my silent little girl. By I am glad now that we had to wait, because I just wasn't ready. As it turns out, when we got to 6 months, I freaked a little and decided to wait a little longer. We're on our second cycle of OI, and I feel ready now. It's just gone 12 months since we lost Poppy.
But everyone is different. I guess I just knew when it felt ok to start TTC again. Good luck. I'm so sorry for your loss x
Thanks all so much for your replies. Both dh and I feel ready now, a lot of people think its to soon but I guess ultimately it is up to us. Dh made a good point - that neither of us see a reason not to start trying so if it happens it happens. Guess if nothing has happened in a few months time we may start taking the 'trying' a bit more seriously but in the mean time will have lots of fun a the right time of the month I guess and cross fingers that it will happen when it's supposed to! xo
Oh Tiffany, I'm so sorry to hear of your sweet babies passing away
I would get a blood test to make sure your HPTs are accurate, if I were you
I hope you find what you're looking for here on BellyBelly. There are a lot of us who have lost our babies in many different circumstances, there's always someone to talk to
Tiffany I couldn't read and not post to say how so sorry I am for the loss of your little boy Hayden. What a terrible thing to go through and I hope you have all the support you need.
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When did you start thinking about ttc
xo
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