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Thread: Help... Single mum having twins

  1. #1

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    Question Help... Single mum having twins

    Hi.. My name is Lauren and im 20 yrs old. I'm 6 wks preg and just found out that im having twins. I'm really worried because i'm not with the father any more and it doesnt look like he will be around for them.



    My parents keep telling me that it will be too hard to do alone and are trying to talk me into having an abortion which is not what I want.

    I'm really lost at the moment and don't know what to do.

    Plz help!!

  2. #2

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    Hey Lauren, How stressful for you! Sending lots of hugs your way.
    I am only pg with my first, so I don't have experience as a parent, but I do know that if having a termination is not what you want to do, you should never be forced into it! Perhaps you could try to talk to a councilor at a family planning clinic or something? They can advise you as to what support you could get if you went ahead and had your twins.
    I really hope you can find the support that you need right now though. Take care of yourself. xx

  3. #3

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    OH lauren, i know what its like being a single parent with no support, but to be having twins... I agree with Amy, talk to someone at a family planning centre...

    And im not saying to get rid of your babies, please dont take this out of context, but maybe apply to have access to the termination support area of BellyBelly, talk to some people, that way you are informed about all options. HTH

    ps if you want to chat by email, my email is simone _ pitcher at hotmail dot com (take out the space and just change the rest... just put bellybelly in the subject heading) Im on msn sometimes as well, if you chat on there much.
    Last edited by simone; October 23rd, 2006 at 08:51 PM.

  4. #4

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    Hello Lauren,
    Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry that you are so worried about everything. It doesnt make it easy when the father runs in the other direction...twins or no twins. I have supported a few teens/young mums through pregnancy, so if you ever want to have a chat dont hesitate to message me. Do you use msn? You are more than welcome to add me [email protected] and we can have a chat

    Chin up...

  5. #5

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    Hi Lauren,

    Firstly congratulations on your twin pregnancy!!

    I am so very sorry to hear that you are having a hard time at the moment, i really hope everything works out for you. I think you should go and speak to a councillor as they will be able to give you the support and encouragement you need.

    Take care Leah

  6. #6

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    Hi Lauren,

    I just found your post and thought i would say hi and that i am also here if you need to talk. I can't imagine what is going through your mind a the moment. You must be feeling 101 different emotions.

    You are more than welcome to chat to me on msn if you are ever on. My email address can be found in my profile. I am here if you ever need to talk or need a bit of advice.

    Good luck with your pg. I hope it remains happy and healthy for you.


  7. #7
    twins4me Guest

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    Hi Lauren,

    I am new to 'bellybelly' and was doing some research on 'single-parenting' when I came across your message.

    I am now 28+ weeks expecting Twins and yes will be a single-parent as the Father has decided not to be a part. The first and second Trimester were the hardest as I too did not know what I was going to do.

    My life has always been my career, I did what I wanted when I wanted and knew where I was heading all of a sudden here I was pregnant, not knowing what to do and then 2 weeks later I'm hit with the news I was expecting Twins.

    My heart goes out to you, I too spent endless months trying to make sense of all this only difference was I didnt tell anyone so had to make this decision on my own.

    As you can see I did finally make my decision. I'm now expecting the Twins late Dec early Jan and there is not a day that goes by that I wonder. Was it the right one? I don't know. Maybe it was maybe is wasn't.

    I know I will return to work fulltime as I know I can't afford not to. I work for an organisation that is very supportive and I will be meeting with the Company Doctor to begin discussions on my returning to work after maternity leave.

    I continue to think about a wide range of things - Will I cope? How will I return to work and still look after them? What about finances?

    On the other hand - what and where would I have been had I made the other decision?

    Like the other lovely and caring messages above I'm more than happy to chat on MSN if you want.

    regards

  8. #8

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    I would like to just say how brave i think you ladies are. I am a mum of just 1 DD and i have a hard time coping sometimes. I wish you both the best of luck on your journies.

    twin4me - What was your situation when you found out?? I mean with your partner/ex-partner??? If you don't mind me asking. I am just curious as to what goes through these men's head when they make a concious decision not to play a part in such a special event. I spse it all depends on the situation at the time. Do you have a good suppprt system in your family?? You have definetely come to the right place for love and support from everyone at BB. As i said earlier, i wish you all the luck in the world. If you also would like to talk or just chat you can get me on MSN. My email addy is in my profile. Hope to chat soon.

  9. #9

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    Lauren - many hospitals have special support clinics for younger mums and you will find the support you need.Nepean Hosp does.
    I also recommend the multiple birth association (MBA) in your area.They can maybe help you also. They can give you advice on twins stuff and support you in other ways.
    As the other ladies have said it is your decision and try not to let yourself be pressured into something that there is no turning back from.
    If you email me from the link on my profile I will give you some numbers and a website.I am in Sydney too.
    You sound like you have the strength to do this and given support I am sure you will cope. You are asking questions and for help so you are obviosuly on the right path.

  10. #10

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    sorry to hijack your post Lauren.

    Twins4me - congratulations on your twins too - I hope your support system is supportive as you need- my advice for you is also the multiple birth association if you haven't already.

    You have a tough road ahead but you also sound like you have thought it through carefully and I wish you the best of everything.I am on MSN too if you want to chat.We have a thread on BB to chat in too if you look for the sticky at the top of twins page.

    I have found a lot of emotional cyber support on forums like BB and twin information and support from other places like the Australian multiple birth website. Google it as we are not alowed to post links or email me ann I will send it to you.
    Last edited by Baby~amore`; November 9th, 2006 at 08:15 PM.

  11. #11
    twins4me Guest

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    Hi Sara / Trish,

    Thank you both for the kind words. It is nice to know there are others to speak with and of course get advice from.

    Unfortunately I too believed 'this was the one'. Until I found out I was pregnant.
    My decision to keep my Twins was I believe these 'little bundle of joys' are also a gift that unfortunately not everyone has the chance to experience.
    I have a sister and her family who will be here in Sydney for another year - and I have family overseas and some close friends.
    Counting this as a 'blessing' allows me to know they'll be hard times but hey I'm not the first or the last person to be in this situation.

  12. #12

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy and good on you for realising how blessed you are.

  13. #13

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    remember Twins for me that we are here for you if you need someone or lots to chat to my two cherubs certainly make my heart sing (borrowed this from another twin mum ) and though they have their moments I wouldn't change anything.

    They will have each other to grow up with and a forever friend. The good times already outweigh any bad times - I can only imagine the uncertainties you face but you will rise to the challenge with your heartwarming attitude to your 'blessings'.

  14. #14

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    Oh Lauren,

    Big to you! This must be very stressful and upsetting for you. Maybe you should tell your parents how heartbreaking it is for you to here them say this to you so that they understand that this is just wrong for any parent to be like this, they should be supporting you!

    You wil be fine and you will have support on BB all the time if you need to talk or even vent. In this situation of yours you need to have a big support system, i am not going to lie it will be hard for a while but think positive and you will be ever so happy and thankful that you were blessed with two beautiful babies!

    I hope that you can work it out and if ever you want to talk or vent have a cry or just need to be cheered up all of us on BB will be happy to talk.

    I hope you can work it all out soon and have a healthy stress free pregnancy and a BIG CONGRATULATIONS

    Jen

  15. #15

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    Hi Lauren,

    I have twins too, Jack and Charlee. They are now 10 months old and I have done it mainly on my own as my husband does fly in fly out work. The hardest times I have found are bathing times and general house work/ cooking times. I found that when Jack and Char got to about 2 and a half months I had to get into a routine and stick to it. It took about 2 weeks but I stuck to my guns and they started sleeping from 7-7 and it gave me the time for me and for cleaning, watching movies, t.v. and all the other things that seem to exit your life after the twins enter it!
    So many people will ask you how do you do it? But Lauren we have no choice. We just do. And I'm sure I speak 4 every mum of twins on here.
    Good luck with everything, I think you will be fine.

    Take care
    Love Kel

  16. #16
    chriscoop Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by twins4me View Post
    Hi Sara / Trish,

    Thank you both for the kind words. It is nice to know there are others to speak with and of course get advice from.

    Unfortunately I too believed 'this was the one'. Until I found out I was pregnant.
    My decision to keep my Twins was I believe these 'little bundle of joys' are also a gift that unfortunately not everyone has the chance to experience.
    I have a sister and her family who will be here in Sydney for another year - and I have family overseas and some close friends.
    Counting this as a 'blessing' allows me to know they'll be hard times but hey I'm not the first or the last person to be in this situation.
    Congratulation on your twin pregnancy. Yes you will have hard times, but it will be nothing against the joy these to little ones will give you

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