oh that just really sucks. Your DH sounds very immature emotionally and confused. I don't know how he thinks you could possibly wait a few months while he decides whether to participate in life or not and then 'take you back and try for a baby again'. That's just crazy talk. If he doesn't want to be like his dad, then he should be sticking around and supporting you. Wouldn't it be lovely for all of us to take 2-3 months off life when we feel like it?

I hope your counsellor is providing you with much needed emotional support - swap to somebody else if you feel like you don't click or get along with your counsellor. They honestly won't be offended and it can sometimes take a couple of attempts to find somebody who you really feel comfortable with. They also should NEVER talk you into one direction or the other, but should work with you to help you decide what's right for you. Asking questions, looking at all of your options, referring you to other supports if suitable, but not advising you what to do. Sure, it can sometimes involve reality testing to make sure that you are aware of what you're undertaking, but ultimately they should provide you with utmost respect for what you want to do. DH is a little naive if he thinks that's what you're going to get from counselling - to be told how hard it will be.

His behaviour is like self sabotaging behaviour - better to drop out of something, than to try and fail at it. He's really got some baggage there.