Any Doulas or MWs with experience with Shoulder Dystocia?

**muming** · May 8th, 2008, 10:33 PM

I know I'm a bit late, but thank you all for your replies, and offers to be there.

I ended up booking a Doula to help support me through the labour, which I think will definitely help me mentally cope with the fear I am feeling. Unfortunately I have since had a couple of horrible OB appointments over the last week where I have been made to feel very uneasy about the birth. One wants me to have a CS and the other wants me to be induced at 38 weeks. I had a huge debate with the resident OB the other day. I was arguing that it wont necessarily happen again, about position of baby, methods to get out baby, why the last one got stuck in the first place etc. etc. In the end he basically said that I am irresponsible and will be endangering the life of my baby if I try natural delivery at term. Oh, and that if something was to go wrong, I might sue him! I don't trust any of the Ob's that might end up delivering my baby. I wish I had the support that I need.

I am going to see Christine Tippett next week for another opinion and advice.

Shoulder dystocia or any dystocia is such a hard thing to deal with regarding the next pregnancy, as you just don't know if it was just bad luck last time, or very likely to happen again. Also, because of all the concerns the Ob's have expressed I would never forgive myself if something did end up going horribly wrong.

But for now, I think I'll go to bed and try to forget about it!!!

Mumingx

paradise lost · May 8th, 2008, 10:44 PM

In the end he basically said that I am irresponsible and will be endangering the life of my baby if I try natural delivery at term.

Ok, take out "at term" and insert "at home" and you have EXACTLY what i was told by various obs, registrars, relatives, even midwives (or medwives as i secretly thought of them after i saw them kowtowing to the ob about another woman "needing" a section for her big baby - he came out 5lbs 10oz!). I'm sorry you don't trust your care providers - is there any way you can change? REALLY think about it - i know just how tough it is to have to face these horribly rigid attitudes and people in pregnancy but you will be totally unable to deal with them in labour and it will be so so hard for you.

I wish you all the best of luck in finding a supportive care provider!

Big hugs hun.

Bx

**Julie Doula** · May 8th, 2008, 11:13 PM

I really get the feeling the 'real' fear is the fear of being sued - not the fear that your baby will have SD. May you be empowered to do what you truly feel is right and safe for YOU and YOUR baby - not what feels safe for these careproviders.

Just as a means of contrast, so you can find your parameters, it might be worth having a chat with an independent midwife - telling them your past history, and what your current cps are saying, then asking, "If I was your client, how would you manage my care and what would you be recommending?" It can create a different perspective and new confidence for you.

Take heart. Don't give up.

**smiley10P** · May 10th, 2008, 09:38 AM

Hi muming,

this is standard dribble that Obs will tell you. I agree with Julie it is about fear of being sued. The shame and blame game or dead baby card is standard they must learn it at medical school if all else fails then resort to it !!! Sorry you find yourself in this vulnerable position. Not being able to trust your carers will not bode well for the birth. Please look at all your options, if you dont trust them then why arte you taking advise from them ???. Just because and Ob is a woman doesn't mean you will get woman centred care she is still an Ob and comes from the same background as all the male obs. I hope you find a solution your happy with

**muming** · September 4th, 2008, 01:03 AM

Hi to all who have posted on this thread ages ago.
I just wanted to let you know how the birth went with my third. After all of the concerns and worrying I had an absolutely fantastic birth. I had the best midwife, she was an angel, and a very supportive doula too. I will go into detail in the birth stories section one day when I have time.
I am so proud that I went with what I felt was right. I gave birth naturally to a beautiful baby girl, 3330kg (7.4lbs) Meika Ruby. She came out on her own (the day before she was due to be induced 9 days early. It was a very healing birth. It confirmed what I felt went wrong with the second birth which ended in shoulder dystocia, as the same problem with the cervix started to happen again. However I had a fantastic midwife who new what she was doing and we managed the labor and overcame the problem. I am sure that if she had have been present at the second birth it definitely wouldn't have lead to SD.
Cheers to Alwyn my midwife, my Doula Relle, and me!! Yippee.

to the obs

paradise lost · September 4th, 2008, 01:08 AM

Oh wow hun, i'm so glad you went with your feeling and did this! Well done! What a wonderful experience for you all. Congratulations - FIND time to write that birth story, think of the women you could reassure/inspire!

Bx