Muming, your DD sounds just like my DS1, and your situation too. His constant feeding really killed my dh and mines intimacy, because of the constant feeding (i just didn't want to be touched after having someone on me constantly), and also having him in our bed (we co-slept til beyond 2 years), my dh usually ended up on a mattress on the floor as no one was comfortable.

I'll be completely honest with you and say that although it sounds harsh, sometimes cold turkey is the only way to break the habit. Breastfeeding beyond 2, or 3 or whatever needs to be beneficial for EVERYONE, not just the baby/toddler. I tried everything, literally everything to wean him slowly (but given that i was also breastfeeding my newborn at the same time, it made it even harder). I tried limiting the feeds, but he would just refuse to drink, or hold out until i did BF him. He wouldn't eat food, he would always choose the boob over food, and was extremely fussy. I kept feeding him worrying about him not getting nourished. I kept hoping he would want it less, but he just didn't.

I eventually reached a point where i could no longer go on with it, as i was feeding the toddler through the night, the baby through the night, barely had the energy to even speak to my dh let alone touch him..... and developed PND. The only option was to just go cold turkey, and i did this in the kindest way possible.....

It was partly true, but i simply said to him "mummy has gotten sick from booboo feeding so much, and booboos are sore now, so you will now drink milk in a cup".... "i still love you, and will hold you close to my chest, but i need you to drink from a cup". He was 2 years/7 months, so a bit older than yours... but he did understand. Yes he cried for it, and it broke my heart, but physically and mentally i was spent. Whenever he cried for it i held him to my chest and told him how much i loved him, and how sorry i was, but that i couldn't do it anymore. As there was no other option he did take milk and water from a cup. He did ask for weeks afterward, "are booboos still sore", and i would say yes, and comment on how great he was drinking from a cup, and thanked him for understanding my needs.

This in itself was great for him, he learnt that i was a person with needs to. And we are still very close, it hasn't affected our relationship at all. Plus, my fussy, refusing to eat food toddler suddenly got an appetite!!! He started eating regular meals and trying new things. I believe the breastfeeding was holding him back, and it was good for him to learn that he could cope without it, that he didn't need a breastfeed to fall asleep.... It allowed me to focus more on my baby, and get my relationship back on track.

I hope sharing my experience has helped... going cold turkey doesn't have to be cruel, it can be done gently, and can be a valuable experience.