it sounds like it's the night time feeding that is concerning you more than the day time feeds. I was in a similar situation with DD2 up until 1.5 months ago. She was just about to turn 2 yrs old.

I asked my DH to tend to DD2 throughout the night and that I was no longer going to feed at night - I was about to give birth to DD3 and couldn't face being on call for a toddler as well as a newborn. Given that he had barely got up to her in the 2 yrs, it wasn't much to ask!

I brought forward the bedtime feed to 6.30pm so it wasn't followed straight away by bed - we then brushed teeth, read a story then cuddles & lights out.

It took a couple of weeks before her wakings reduced to just once a night and only now & again not every night. DH had to tend to her every night when she woke (which was up to 3 times a night) and take me out of the night time experience for her. THe first few nights were tiring for DH, DD2 and me (only because I was listening in bed to the crying). But as i said good night to her every night she asked for mummy milk & I said mummy milk has gone to bed now, time to go to sleep. She understood, didn't like it but got the message. She actually sleeps much better now too.

Now, she sits on my lap at story time says 'mummy milk bed' (as in 'gone to bed') and i say 'yes, but you can have some in the morning after breakfast' and she is happy - I think knowing that it will be happening again the next day.