HELP! Should I elope?!?

[confused101]

ok, so here's the deal. My parents dont approve of my boyfriend. Weve been together a year and a half and I KNOW he's the one for me. Theres a certain somebody in my distant family who used to be mine and my boyfriends boss. A disagreement occured and because my boyfriend quit, this family member wanted to get even. Rumors were spread, resulting in my family disliking my boyfriend. Anyways, I am a student in college and we really want to get married, but since I am still financially dependent on my parents(insurance, school, etc) I'm afraid that if we elope, when they file their taxes they will find out. Because I DEFINATELY don't want them to find out for a coule of years (like one or two). THey'll be ****ed either way, my dad has even said that there's a possibility he'll cut me out of the family if I stay with him (make the big committment). So either way I go they wont like it, so I'd rather not walk down an isle that I have to drag my dad down. Is it possible they will find out this way?

[Lulu]

If you are still financially dependent on your parents, why would you want to deceive them like that? Once you are married you should be independent - so I suppose you should either bite the bullet and wait until you have finished school, or get married and say goodbye to the financial support of your parents.

Is there that much of a rush hun?

[HotI]

If he is the one for you, he will still be the one for you in a few years with or without a marriage certificate. Don't rush, enjoy your time together. You might find that your parents do like him when they get to know him and then your wedding can be a fun day for all. You don't want to get married and then have to hide it from people. What's the point in that?

[Isadora]

I agree with the above posts, dont do it now. It will only cause more trouble within your family. Give it a few years and hopefully over that time, your parents will learn to like your partner. Besides whats the point in getting married, if you are still financially dependent on your parents, you wont be able to live with your new hubby. Give it time and it will all fall into place, you wont regret it.

[confused101]

Thanks for your advice! I wrote that post in desperation! It was more venting than me actually thinking through making that big of a decision! It just kinda felt like my life was falling apart...losing my family. I've thought about it alot and actually some new problems have arose...they just never stop. In order for my fiance ( and yes we are engaged now...the fam still doesnt know ) to get the experience he needs for his career, he is joining the army. So now there will definately be no rushing into a marriage without my parents knowing...I'll just tell them when the time is right (about a year until I graduate) and that way if they want to help me plan a wedding then I would love to have them there! If not, then sadly I'll prepare to plan a very small but beautiful wedding myself and be with my future husband. I can't wait. Any suggestions for easing the engagement on my parents?

[Lulu]

Umm, I'd say to live your life well, do your best to graduate with the BEST marks in the world, work hard so your parents can see you are growing up and can make good decisions for yourself.
If you are still together after you graduate, and everyone can see your DF has been working hard towards his career and you are happy together......well as a parent I couldn't argue with that. Hopefully they won't still be sucked in by the family member that caused trouble, and they will see thats in the past/or untrue, and you can start reading bridal magazines with your mum...

good luck!