How long were you.....???

[Ella]

"umm, together a week when he unofficially moved in, (stayed the first night and never left!) - engaged 4 months later, married 12months 4 days after we got together. been married almost 3 years, weathered some pretty intense stuff in there (loss of his brother, family breakdown, miscarriages, IVF) and still very happy with our relationship"

Yep I have to agree. DF stayed over during our second date and he never left... we got a house together after about 6 weeks as I was living in a share house.

Doesn't matter how long you're together, like Briggsy we have been through some major stuff- cutting off my mum (not good influence at the time), huge family problems with his mother and many many more.

I think that some people are put here to have a pretty whirlwind experience, and I feel that we are some of them, at 21 I keep getting told that I've been through alot more life experience typed things than many people my age.

[BrightSparkles]

I think that some people are put here to have a pretty whirlwind experience, and I feel that we are some of them, at 21 I keep getting told that I've been through alot more life experience typed things than many people my age.

For sure!

Don't get me wrong. I'm over the moon for people when they are happy. and would do anything to support people through the happy times (and downs of course)
I was just curious to see what others experiences/opinions were. Just trying to get an understanding of other peoples points of view.

[sneakysparkle]

DH & I got engaged after being together 4 yrs - married 6mths later. In Jan we have been married for 7 yrs
We got together in high school though - I knew when I was 17 that I would marry him

[Rainbow_Mumma]

umm, together a week when he unofficially moved in, (stayed the first night and never left!)

my DH was exactly the same! engaged 6 months later and married 3 years later and now been married since November 14th this year

[Alipralli]

Met/started dating when I was 15, engaged 8 years later, married 3 years after that (on 11th anniversary), and coming up to our 4th wedding anniversary (15 years in total).

And I'm still in love with him! Sometimes I think i must be a little crazy...

[~Phoenix~]

DH#1 - I was 19 & he was 21when we met. We got engaged when I was 23 and married when I was 24 so nearly 5 years before we got married. Separated 3 years later after a total of 8 years together. We never lived together beforehand.

DH#2 - We got together in Sept 07 I moved in March 08, he propsed on our 1 year anniversary in Sept 08 and married April this year...so a total of about 19 months.....oh pregnant in July/August and first bubba due May 2010, two weeks after our first wedding anniversary. Ahhh that is moving fast when I read that LOL

Suppose you just never really know until you meet someone how it will all end up

[TeniBear]

May 2002: We met, became friends sometime over the next few months (I hated him for a little bit, but he won me over and I developed a crush on him... He says he loved me from the very beginning )
October 14th 2002: First Kiss, he asked me out the next day
November 20th 2004: We broke up, stayed friends
September 17th 2006: Got back together
June 8th 2007: He proposed at my 21st birthday
October 14th 2007: I moved in with him officially after spending most nights there anyway
August 19th 2009: We found out I'm pregnant after a few "scares" along the way
September 19th 2009: We got married
Sometime next year: We have our first child together

[Kazmar]

Im still living in sin

Id be worried about being engaged and getting married having never lived with eachother. That could create problems.

[Nelle]

Try not to worry. It will work if they both are committed to making it work.

We were engaged after 8 months (he was 20 I was 19), married 7 months after that (he was 21 I was 20) - we didn't live together before marriage, and in February it'll be six years! So we've been together for seven. And no sign of trouble, apart from the fact that he STILL doesn't empty the dirty laundry basket.

As I said at the start, if they work at it, they should be fine. We've done marriage courses, try to go on dates, try to have good quality time and aim to be unselfish - and I think that is more relevant to a relationship's success than the length of the lead-up. xo

ETA: Dedicated Mummy, that's not necessarily true about marriage without living together first creating problems. xo

[BrightSparkles]

:
We were engaged after 8 months (he was 20 I was 19), married 7 months after that (he was 21 I was 20) - we didn't live together before marriage, and in February it'll be six years! So we've been together for seven. And no sign of trouble, apart from the fact that he STILL doesn't empty the dirty laundry basket.

ROFL - my DH is the same!! LOL

[[M]umma[M]ia]

DF and i moved in together, i was 16, he was 19 and we had ben together about 2months. We JUST got enaged this christmas after almost 6 years together and couldnt be happier

[*Nikki*]

Well DF and i are not married yet (will be in 2 months time tho ... we will have been together for abit over 5.5 years... We have only been engaged for 4 months (took him forever to ask me lol)

[MistyFying]

I met DH when I was 17 and he was 18. He asked me to marry him on our first date. I declined, but agreed to keep dating He proposed when he was 21 and I was 20, and we were married a year after that. We've now been married for 17 years.

Like Nelle, we didn't live together before we were married. We think the "success" (for want of a better word) of marriage preparation lies in discussing values, communication and conflict styles, default positions (ie what you've been brought up with), expectations etc, rather than test-running living arrangements. In my opinion, if you can't work out the other stuff, then nothing will make the living arrangements work out.

[Sterla]

DH and I got together when we were 13, so keep this in mind .

DH and were together for a bit over 2 years before we moved in together - however, when I say moving in, I moved in with DH and his mum and brother when I was 16 so that I could do year 11 at a half-decent college. In Year 12 I moved out on my own with a friend though. A year after that DH and I moved in together again, this time sharing with a friend. It was while we were living here that we got engaged - we were 18. While we were engaged we finally moved in together by ourselves.
A year and a half later we got married - we were 19 (I turned 20 the day after). So, we were together for 6.5 years before getting married - and we've now been married for over 4 years .

[Trillian]

We met in March 97, engaged in January 99 and married the following year in April. We've been together 13 years next march. We didn't live together till about 3 months before we were married. I know couples who have been together for years and years and split as soon as the ink on the marriage certificate was dry and know other couples who met and were married within the first year. It's not the length of time that you are together for before you get married, but how committed you are to each other and how committed you are to making it work. I'm sure that your friends know what they are doing and it is their mistake to make if it doesn't work outin the end kwim?

[feeb]

Met and got together April 2000 ( I was 21 he was 25)
Broke up Feb 2001 (didnt speak or have any contact)
Till June 2002 got together
I moved in September 2002
Engaged Feb 2005
Married May 2006

So together 7 and 1/2 years

[Laranna]

XH - I was 18, he was 21 when we met and started dating. I was 22, he 25 when we got engaged and then moved out together. We were both still living with our parents then. Took us another 3 years to actually get married and then 2 years to get divorced.

DH - we have been friends for 14 years now but both being in other relationships we never considered each other as partners. We actually started dating in Dec 05, a few months after XH & I broke up. I was resisting because I felt it was too soon after my break up, but couldn't resist and knew it was right. We were inseparable from then and he moved in with me 3 months later and fell pregnant 4 months after that. We got engaged in March this year and married in August. So we've been together just on 4 years all up. It has been the best 4 years of my life We are soul mates.

[UntoldAngel]

Moved into a house together after 7 months (although practically inseparable before that), engaged at 8years... we've been together 8.5years now
He was a little slow realising that I was the one he wanted to commit to