i remember who was in jeans at our wedding too! i didn't mind the kids in neat jeans and dress shirts - they initially weren't coming but the babysitter fell through, so it was all they had available - but the adult who turned up in jeans and looked like he hadn't showered in a week - yup, i remember him being there and exactly what he was wearing! there was also someone in tracksuit pants, which really annoyed me at the time, but now, meh, i don't care - it was a reflection of them, not me - and they weren't in any of the photos except random group shots - so i can bypass most reminders of it!

i have never seen DH in a tie - don't know anyone that has - it's just not him. he will wear dress pants and a nice shirt, but a tie - nope! i think it really comes down to both the venue and the couple getting married AND to the individual attending. my DH is not a suit and tie person - 99% of the time he is in shorts and singlet/tee. that's how everyone knows him. so for him to wear dress pants and shirt (either with or without jacket) is HUGE - and no one has ever accused him of being under dressed lol.