What do you wish you had done between engaged and married?

[Novella]

Lunch with the girls in the bridal party if people don't know each other that well is nice. Something with the mum and MIL and any close female family. Pamper day sis a great idea, some groups will come to a house with one or two therapists and you take it turns to get treatments, while one is having a facial the rest of you can sip bubbly or your poison, eat nibbles and chat

Lovely you can be involved in your sisters wedding and be there to help her out.

[Rouge]

I don't like the trying on wedding dresses with no intention of buying. The people who work in these shops often work on commission and it's kind of wasting their time. And stopping them from making money. Sorry don't mean to be a drag. It's just something that irks me. And I'd feel guilty doing it.

Have a girls weekend away. Take a cooking course with some girls. I often helped look at venues.

[Astrid]

Not a fan of the wedding dress try on either. It is something that really needs to be done when the bride is ready and on her terms. It is not always that "fun". Often it is quite draining, exhausting and demoralising, especially if you happen to be carrying any weight (sorry don't know what your sister is like weight wise).

Certainly a big fan of the pamper day or pamper sessions in the lead up to the wedding. I would have been feral on the day if a friend had not taken me for a massage and hot pool session

[Tinks]

Take her to some wedding expos. There should be heaps coming up over the next few months.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Good point about the trying on, I only ever tried on one big one, kinda forgot you can't just do it yourself Doing that completely changed what I was looking for in a wedding dress though, so I do think it's important for her to try on different styles to at least find what style she likes. Plus, I ended up having a registry office wedding, with a simple prom dress - but the memory of how I looked and felt in that one proper wedding dress is so strong, even 6 years later, I really want her to have that.

Yes yes, day spa day is a great idea!

Tinks, good thing you mentioned the expos - I'd forgotten about them, and there's only 2 left for the year here, both on the same weekend a couple of weeks away!

[~Raven~]

I don't like the trying on wedding dresses with no intention of buying. The people who work in these shops often work on commission and it's kind of wasting their time. And stopping them from making money. Sorry don't mean to be a drag. It's just something that irks me. And I'd feel guilty doing it.

Really?
I was encouraged by more than one bridal shop worker to have a look around and try on with no obligation or pressure. They were also more than happy for me to try on dresses to see what suited my shape, which turned out to be far from what I thought I wanted

[sangie]

I would totally do the trying on wedding dresses! I think you need to try on a few different styles to figure out what suits your body shape. And they look completely different on the rack to how they look on a body! I never had any angst from any bridal shop employees, in my experiences they have always been really helpful.

I would combine a bit of wedding dress shopping with high tea or lunch? Pamper session or day spa are great ideas too.

Personally I'd leave the counselling and solicitor stuff for your sister and future BIL to sort out for themselves. I'd much rather organise a fun outing rather than the serious stuff which I think is a bit personal IYKWIM? But maybe that's just me

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Yup, I'd go with "breaking up with him"! Certainly pre-marital counselling (which he refused) and a pre-nup about things that are important to me, like having children and being appreciated.

I love trying on wedding dresses and am tempted to take off my wedding ring, just wear the engagement one and go into some shops to do it now! I went to three different shops to try on dresses. One shop we refused to return to because they were rude, and we were serious customers, so I would say it's a good idea to get the ethos of the shop before you get serious about finding The Dress.

A day out with her sisters and sisters-in-law-to-be, to see how the girls of the families get along. If the sisters-in-law-to-be are not the sort of people you want to be around, it's worth thinking about the family values that you're marrying into. Not saying it's a deal-breaker, but it is indicitive of how your sister will be expected to act when around her in-laws.

[nothing2lose]

I just dont get the whole wedding dress thing.

[LuluHB]

With the expensive dress shopping day (or any dress shopping) bear in mind you will need an appointment, and if you and your sister go on a Saturday be prepared to be shoved through rather quickly - its not necessarily the nice, relaxing day you imagined it would be so if you can make dress shopping a week day. There is one particular bridal shop in Perth where I had to fill out an application form(!!) and on it was a question asking what my budget was. A friend had gone there a month before and said her budget was $3,000 and she was promptly asked to leave because that was too little for the store. I also had a friend told by the woman in the same store that there was nothing suitable because she was a very large girl. I think that particular store needs to have its time wasted ;-) My only word of warning is that while I don't think you need to spend a fortune to find a beautiful dress, the last thing you want is to find THE dress that you tried on for a laugh that costs $10,000.

I'm all for pamper days - my bridesmaid and I had one the day before my wedding. I'm also all for pamper weekends - the two of you head out to the Valley or down south for the weekend and do serious girl stuff.

Also doing the rounds of various places for ceremony/reception too if her man isn't interested. Cake tasting is a fantastic day out too.

[Astrid]

I also had a friend told by the woman in the same store that there was nothing suitable because she was a very large girl. I think that particular store needs to have its time wasted ;-) .

Yes, I got the "All out bigger girls wear this dress!" It was the most hideous thing, I would have cancelled the wedding, rather than worn it! Made her give me a normal dress to try on and she was shocked as it actually suited me (fit me in the waist, but not in the boobs).

There have been some articles lately about paying for appointments. Mainly due to many brides shopping overseas now, so they try on the dress they like and buy it off eBay.

[Traveller]

I got my dress design off the internet and then made by a local dressmaker (this was unusual 11 years ago) but I really wanted to try on heaps of dresses. Nobody would come with me though, so the first time I got to try a dress on was my own one a fortnight or so before my wedding. Luckily it was the "wow this is the dress I want" moment though

As for the opening question, I would say a make-up and hair trial at a few different places to find the perfect one for the big day. Also some time visiting florists and bakers choosing flowers and cakes. All the fun stuff

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

That's a point - she's worked really hard and is a size 18, but I really don't want her getting that kind of attitude, so I'll check with the store before making the appointment.

[LuluHB]

They should be able to still work with her size Keike. I was a 16/18 when I first went looking when I got married and went to both high end couture and off the rack places. All of them managed to either loosen the laces and insert some fabric where the zip didn't do up, or with with the designer dresses they pinned in a panel of fabric at the back so I still got a really good idea of how it would look. I didn't mean to say that to scare you away from anywhere - I was very lucky/stupid (depending on how you think of these things) when I got married and had no budget which changed the attitude of staff drastically in my favour at all but one store (and short of being a 5"10 50kgs blonde nothing was going to please her!), and it really was useful going to the higher end stores because they had great ideas of how the styles could be tweaked to suit those of us with more womanly curves than others ;-)