thanks girls so emailig groom at work worked well sought of this is the reply I got

bride has been talking to a lady about child care and has it pencilled in, however we need to confirm with her.
We will let you know when we find out the details.
what to do...well they know I iwont come to reception if nothing definate has been arranged can't do much more than that can I...if anyone knows a good babysitter on stradbroke island please let me know

I am so freaked about leaving him this has been playing on my mind since they got engaged last year