Tough one....some things I would be things are: (not necessarily for you to answer here, but somethings to think of!)
What sort of help would you get if he did take the job? Family, friends, childcare, nanny?
Will he ba able to be with you for your birth, and a bit of family time after (a few weeks?)
Will once a week visits be enough for your relationship, with a new baby too?
Is that extra money worth it, with air fares to come and go as well?
How much time does your DH spend at home now, will there be alot of difference?
What about the kids, how will it affect thier relationship with their Daddy?
I would say go for it - and look at joining him for stretches of time. DH works abroad a lot, he's often in different time zones so sometimes we get one day of a weekend together in 3 weeks with minimal phone calls. I quite enjoy this as I get to treat DS to film nights in my bed without worrying about DH needing to sleep in it later.
As for your depression - that's a very real consideration. Is there anyone around you that you could call on in a time of need? Or to set up regular playdates so you had adult company? I know when DH is away I can get Liebling to do more stuff around the house (such as putting his clothes in the laundry basket) because he doesn't see DH not doing it. DS also likes to help load the dishwasher etc so is quite a helpful boy when DH is away.
If I didn't work, I would be spending a bit more time travelling with DH and doing touristy things while he worked (or even taking DS to a local park). As DH works in the same 3 towns a lot, we'd get to meet local people and maybe DS could improve his languages (I know I would!).
For me, the deal would be we ALL go for the six months, or no-one goes. Six months is a HUGE amount of time in a baby's / young child's life, not to mention yours, just when things are about to change so dramatically. Not to mention cost of living here in Canberra is significantly higher then in brisbane, so you may not end up saving as much as you imagine - especially with the cost of two households to maintain (2x food, electricity, gas, fuel, etc).
But that's just me, and the deal I have with DH about work away. No point having money if our marriage and family suffer because I cann't cope on my own.
Thanks ladies, still haven't quite got my head around it all, I haven't been able to come to a conclusion on where my depression comes from, I'm guessing a range of things but I don't tend to stress about money so not really that.
Help we are talking about is a Au Pair or a Nanny, but we really like the interactions Ethan gets at daycare so not entirely sure yet. We have just taken on someone to help out with housework once a week.
I like the idea of visiting for a week once a month, but we'd need to find out own accommodation for that week as I believe they "flat" while up there (quiet a few contractors) and he would get an home away from home allowance to help cover the costs of living in two places.
I have my mum and sister local here in Brisbane, but they don't really offer the support that I'd feel comfortable with being on my own... however I also wouldn't relocate for a temporary position.
It's hard knowing how much I should look into this until he's been offered a contract of some kind...
Could you all move to Canberra for 6 months? Given they are so keen to have him perhaps he could negotiate a slightly later start date, with new baby about to arrive and all.
Nothing is worth your mental health, so unless you think you can manage on your own and stay sane, i don't think money is worth it.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks