Be a woman. Don't try to be a man.

[Astrid]

I tend to have a few male traits and often are put in situations where I am expected to be 100% female. In my current job it caused some conflict in the past, as I was expected to be friendly and chatty with a work colleague, when I was not she perceived I had a problem with her. I did not personally, I just wanted to get on with my job, basically tell me the problem and let me get to it! What got me, was that she did not expect that same level of friendliness from the men in the work place. I was never referred to by my role or department by her, just one of the "girls". I found it really offensive after awhile.

I suppose what I am getting at is, yes, as a female don't try to be male, but at the same time if you don't possess all the "female" traits, don't try to be 100% female either. On the other hand, don't expect certain behavior from other based on their gender either.

[nothing2lose]

Maybe more women would stop trying to be more like men if they were paid the same as men.

[sushee]

Maybe more women would stop trying to be more like men if they were paid the same as men.

I think pay inequality is definitely mixed in with the idea that the contribution of women are of less value, but I also think it's up to women to break out of that belief themselves if we ever want to achieve pay equality. So which comes first? I say no one is going to respect us if we don't respect ourselves first.

[nothing2lose]

I agree.

Sadly, I think some women think to be treated as an equal to a man, they have to emulate them. Some men think that too.

[sushee]

Lots of women believe it. And lots of men. That's what this whole thread is about.

[Nai]

I just saw a presentation at a conference today on this very topic. It was from Dr Lois Frankel who wrote See Jane Lead - you might be interested in it.

[sushee]

I get both your and Div's points, Astrid, that you may not necessarily have what is is stereotyped as 'feminine' traits but a woman's traits are exactly that, it's a woman's traits. You're a woman, you're behaving like you, so you're not 'acting' like a man, you're acting like a woman, because woman are capable of being diverse and unique because we're not all stepford wives. if you're really just being yourself then it's not a 'male' trait at all, and that someone sees you as having a 'male' trait is sexist.