Babies Born April 2008 #5

[Fire]

Meg, that's interesting about not looking left. Ci had an issue with feeding on my right side, and a few other "sided" issues. I always meant to get him chiro'ed but we got so disappointed by his first visit we didn't go again. We should though.

I keep hearing all these babies going up to two hours awake. Ci starts grizzling at half an hour, max. I've tried to change things around just in case he's bored, putting him on the floor, swing chair or just taking a little walk but he seems to really mean it - "I'm tired". Which seems so short for three months. I thought he'd happily be up for an hour or two by now.

I put him in the cot awake today but he still only took half an hour. It was a crap day. Two half hour naps and I resigned to him in the sling (and here he still is, sleeping happily). I'm getting frustrated with it. I know he knows best where he wants to be, but this frontal carrying is stupid - we're the only culture that carries babies slung on the front. Other cultures are hip or back. And he can't do the ergo yet so we are seriously between carriers right now. Too big for the frontal, too young for back carry. And even if he could go on the back, I doubt he'd sleep there. I can't see that happening. Plus I wouldn't be able to sit down! So I will save that for awake time. But that means he really HAS to get used to the cot and do more than one cycle. I'm really neglecting DD and if DH weren't here, I don't know how I'd do all this. Other women have toddlers and manage a baby, how? DD occupies herself while I spend HOURS a day in the room trying to settle him. It isn't fair on any of us. I don't think I could go much longer with this cat napping rubbish, he is never truly rested and I'm never finished "settling" him that way.

Someone tell me they grow out of this! I get so disheartened when I read online all these mothers having the same problems with 6 or even 18 month olds.

[Zennie]

Janine - Russell cat naps all day long when ever he feels like it , i have given up on a daytime routine and stick with the night/ morning routine. some days its great hell be awake and sleep for 2 hours at 12 and then 30 min at 5 otherdays he will wake the minute i put him down . its really touch and go. Are you putting him down on a play matt with toys or just on the floor? have you tried putting in a window just to watch the light or trees? Are you st uck inside like the rest of us with the cold weather. Russell loves being outside,but with the wet and cold weve been confined to the house and its really making us both miserable. maybe you could get down on the floor with him to help him adjust. its sounds almost like seperation anxiety.

[alittlegrubi]

Fire

Tell me someone else does that so I don't feel so bad

.
You are definitely not alone - I agree with Sarah it's the smart club rather than the bad mummy club in so much as if they don't need to be changed, why wake them up by making them cold in the process. I want as much sleep as I can get.
Greer is half cot half co-sleeping with me. I put her down in the cot at 7-7.30pm and she will stay there until 10-11pm, I might put her back depending on how I feel for the next sleep but haven't managed to get up again with the 2-4am feed to put her back in the cot. I find when they are sick it can be harder to settle them.
Fire When you say Ci grizzles is he still asleep or is he open eyed grizzling? I find if I ignore the closed eye grizzles she settles herself off again.
I guess it depends on the baby as to when they self settle. DS was still needing to be settled during the night up to 14 months old, yet DD seems much better. It will happen eventually. I think I said in another post that I am stretching over the cot with the boobie if needed to get her to settle. I'd even suggest getting him to sleep in your arms or sling or however you currently do and transferring him to the cot you might get more than 30 minutes.
I am going with the 30 minute sleeps and bringing her out if she wakes and then when she falls off to sleep in my arms putting her back so you gets used to the cot as her sleep place.
Now my way may not work for you, so work with what keeps you calm, Your mood can affect them settling too I've found.
This might sound strange - but I think the biggest secret to getting Ci to settle is for you to start believing that he can. I know what you mean though about spending hours in a room settling and feeling bad - I do especially when I end up growling at DS because he made a sudden noise at that crucial settling moment.
Better go and spend some time with DS since DD is asleep and DH is not home yet.

[Butterfly_Princess]

Fire what were you disappointed by?? My chiro was telling me that some ppl expect immediate results, but he says that rarely happens and that it can take up to 5 visits. Its something one needs to persist with.

Girls, im worried, im starting to think about #2 now. I cannot wait. Ive even started temping. Am i crazy??

[Nettie]

LOL Meg - you're not crazy. I've been thinking about the possibility (not of trying yet!) of #2...

Think I might join in on the 'bad mummy' group... not only for not changing him through the night, but I'm yet to begin a showering/massage/reading/bedtime routine with him. We shower him whenever he's awake and one of us is heading in the shower anyway (usually every 2 days) - but it can be at any time of the day; I usually massage him after a shower (but if I'm the one showering him, DH doesn't necessarily massage him) - would like to do it more, but I don't want to get him cold and it's a very cold house!; I've read to him a few times, but he really doesn't seem interested and would much rather I looked at him and talked. I sometimes sing to him which he seems to enjoy - but it's not with any regularity. I feel like I should have a routine with this but it's hard with him so young and his feeds aren't even predictable! Today he took nearly 2 hours to polish off 100ml with little naps in between... Lucky ready, steady, cook was on!

I'd like to start a routine for night time before I head back to work (in September)... let's keep our fingers crossed!

[alioops]

I know I am not an April Mummy, but I thought I might be able to help

Does expressing mess with your supply? I'm worried about getting too much milk again, now that my supply has chilled a bit. But I want to build a freezer supply, but don't want my body to go nuts replacing all that milk that His Chokeness has to deal with. Is there a best way to do it?

Fire, What sort of pump do you use? It is best to express when you are fullest, so first thing in the morning. If you do not want to increase supply, express only until you are comfortable, or have the amount you need. If you want to increase supply then keep going till there is not even a drop coming out.

Two half hour naps and I resigned to him in the sling (and here he still is, sleeping happily). I'm getting frustrated with it. I know he knows best where he wants to be, but this frontal carrying is stupid - we're the only culture that carries babies slung on the front. Other cultures are hip or back. And he can't do the ergo yet so we are seriously between carriers right now. Too big for the frontal, too young for back carry. And even if he could go on the back, I doubt he'd sleep there. I can't see that happening. Plus I wouldn't be able to sit down! So I will save that for awake time. But that means he really HAS to get used to the cot and do more than one cycle. I'm really neglecting DD and if DH weren't here, I don't know how I'd do all this. Other women have toddlers and manage a baby, how? DD occupies herself while I spend HOURS a day in the room trying to settle him. It isn't fair on any of us. I don't think I could go much longer with this cat napping rubbish, he is never truly rested and I'm never finished "settling" him that way.

What type of sling do you have? is it like a baby bjorn, or a sling? the normal slings can be worn in many ways. google bubzilla for videos on how to wear it.

Think I might join in on the 'bad mummy' group... not only for not changing him through the night, but I'm yet to begin a showering/massage/reading/bedtime routine with him. We shower him whenever he's awake and one of us is heading in the shower anyway (usually every 2 days) - but it can be at any time of the day; I usually massage him after a shower (but if I'm the one showering him, DH doesn't necessarily massage him) - would like to do it more, but I don't want to get him cold and it's a very cold house!; I've read to him a few times, but he really doesn't seem interested and would much rather I looked at him and talked. I sometimes sing to him which he seems to enjoy - but it's not with any regularity. I feel like I should have a routine with this but it's hard with him so young and his feeds aren't even predictable! Today he took nearly 2 hours to polish off 100ml with little naps in between... Lucky ready, steady, cook was on!

I'd like to start a routine for night time before I head back to work (in September)... let's keep our fingers crossed!

Nettie, you can start anytime. there is no Set time for a routine.

With night time nappy changes, girls you only need to do them if they REALLY need it, as in leakage or poo. if you are really worried about nappy rash put a barrier cream or some of Nessa's excellent second skin on them. it will not hurt them to go overnight in the same nappy, if you change them it makes it harder to reset their body clocks as to what is day and what is night.

If you think you are a bad mummy for making sure your baby is fed and clothed and well looked after, then I think you ladies are mistaken. You are everything your baby needs at this age, and Motherhood takes practice. have faith that you are a good mummy and dont second guess yourself. and keep an eye on the articles for any info that may have changed recently

Meg, with Temping, there is no reason why you shouldn't get in tune with your cycle. it can take a while to notice a pattern so chart away hun

[Fire]

Hi Ali thanks for the visit and info. i have a medela electric. i don't have morning engorgement cos i have a big night feeder (someting i hope to switch when he's older). so my breasts fill mid evening, when i'm trying to sleep. I have a HaB, a ring sling and an ergo. i also have a long piece of stretchy fabric i bought and use as a wrap, although we mostly use the hab because we didn't get the infant insert for the ergo, and we couldn't work out comfortable ways to wear the ring sling. it's still all frontal carry though, which pulls backs out of whack no matter how they're worn cos the human frame and posture was not designed for large frontal weight. i bought the fabric for high back carries but we failed at that, too.