Thanks for the welcome guys

I don't breastfeed He sucked me raw in two days and I tried to express, but the milk was all bloody and my nipples were not healing. And not like strawberry milkshake bloody, I mean red cordial bloody. I just felt bad about giving it to him and I had issues with him hurting me so much at latching and during feeds, that I made the decision to FF so that I can bond with him in a relaxed atmosfeer. I was crying each time I had to put him on the boob, so instead of resenting him for hurting me, I just did what I thought best and started formula. He does not seem to mind and are perfectly healthy and we are bonding better and I am MUCH more relaxed. I'm sad that I don't breastfeed and now reading all the post about mommies that do, I feel like I should have tried harder. I knew that when I made the decision to stop my boobs were sore, I did not like my baby and I was in a state, but somehow I now feel that I should have persisted. I should have just bit down and bear the pain to get through the first three weeks. On the other hand, DH love that he can feed ds and that I am not crying every feed.

It's weird for me to experiance this baby. This is a "real" baby. I love that you can wake him up just before you go to bed, give him a bottle, change is diper, break some wind, get some smiles and just pop him back into bed and he is off to dreamland for a night of sound sleeping. Ok he still wakes between 3 or 4 for a feed, but I don't mind, because afterwards he goes back to sleep without me having to rock/shhh/cuddle/sing him to sleep. I love that you can pop him on a blanket in the kitchen and have him actually enjoy looking at his toys, so that I can cook and bake. And I LOVE that sometimes I turn around because he stopped chatting and I would see that he has fallen asleep. I love that I can read his hungry and sleepy signs. OMG and he is heavy!! He weighs about 6kg now and I am really really glad that he does not need to be "walked" to sleep. DD were about 7 months before she weighted 6kg, so this is truely a new experiance and I'm loving it!!

DD were prem. She was in hossy for a month and I expressed BM for her. She came home, but did not smile till around three/four months. She was colicy and had silent reflux and was crying permanently. She did not sleep if she were not held and she drove me and DH bonkers. For the four months I was at home with her, I sat on the couch and held her. I could do next to no chores around the house, because I had to constantly hold dd. We had no sleep and no clue as to what to do with her. To be honest we are still struggeling with her sleeping and she is not sleeping through ... or even in her own bed .. not that we mind Nothing nicer that a little girl curling up in your arm at 3am in the morning

Anyway ... I also got some chuckle's twice, but have not been able to get him to do it again.

Can I ask a really weird question .. going to anyway. For those of you that now had your second/third child ... did you love that child straight away? I feel like such a bad mother for not loving my ds from the moment he was born. I liked him .. I think I liked him, but I did not feel half the love towards him that I felt towards my first born and she was the "difficult" baby. I even feel that he is taking away me-and-dd-time. I wanted this baby, but ... I don't know. I am growing to love him now, my heart melts when he give me those gummy-smiles. I just need to know that I will love him as much as I do dd.

Should they be starting to roll over now?? I know ds can go from his side to his back and to his side again, but no rolling over yet. Hmmm will have to check him out over the weekend, more tummy time.